Tuesday, July 31, 2007

MTB4: Don't Clap For Him

People, Church Boy is finally GONE! That just made the whole episode for me. Never should we have had to be subjected to watching Church Boy try to hit the elbow from the chair...I mean, really keeping him around knowing he was injured and fugly was just silly. Giving him false hope was just unnecessary....especially when he had the chance to shine when it was time to sing and he couldn't even do that and that didn't have shit to do with his broke ass leg. Did we all forget that all he could sing was that one church song??!!! That is why I was so happy Diddy told them NOT to clap for his ass. And who would have guessed Gary Coleman's big brother would have a girlfriend....their lil conversation and her motivational words were nice....but um, that fugler needed to go so they can go and have their nice lil conversations back in West Bubba Fuck where they live.

Carlos....wow. I felt really bad for him finding out that his baby might have Downs Syndrome while he was trying to make the band....I didn't think he would make the band anyway, but that whole situation just really messed up any chance he may have had. Now, ya'll can get mad at me or say whatever the fuck you want to say to me or about me (you know the email bitch) but um....Josera, Carlos' baby motha was acting like she carry that Downs chromosome....bitch seemed just a lil slow actin...just a lil. I'm just sayin.....but I have to give props to both Carlos and Josera for deciding to keep the baby and dealing with whatever the outcome may be. They seem really young and one is not the brightest bulb in the pantry but I'm rootin for them.

Now ya'll know I love me some Boom Boom Kat but um, how this Jamal choreographer dude come in and now these ne-groy-dians know how to dance....even Growin Up Gotti tried to show his ass a lil bit. I had no idea Qwanell could dance as well as he was dancing....Q just needs a couple of burgers, maybe some collard greens...and grow into his swagger a lil bit and he might really be workin with something...I see you Q.

Anyway, when Diddy asked who everybody's picks would be for the group if that had to pick right now, I wasn't surprised at their choices. It looks like they really want Growing Up Gotti in the group to keep that Danity Kane/Boy Band thing poppin and Willie and Robert was in everybody's group. If I had to make the decision my group would be Willie, Q, Chubb Rock and dammit, Robert. I do not like Robert at all but dude can sing and he can dance. Besides, there is always one or more fugler in a group....K-Ci AND Jo-Jo, all of Jagged Edge was fugly, all of Dru Hill was fug too...well Nokio was aight but you get my point. So Chubb Rock would be the chubby cutie who pops and locks like he skinny and Robert would be the fug one, Willie would be the hot one and Q would be the cutish one with all the charm and charisma.

Basically, we've arrived at the end people. All we have left is the finale and the official Making of the Band. So until then, let's give it up one more time that Church Boy is NOT making the band!!!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Just For Giggles....

Who loves trashy, ashy ass?????? OMG, I just threw up in my mouth...UGH! (Thanks Perez!)

See That.....Cuz I Said So!!!!

You MUST see Talk To Me! This is just an all around fantastic film about the legendary (altho I didn't know who the hell he was until I saw the movie) Petey Greene. So who is Petey Greene aka Don Cheadle? Ralph Waldo "Petey" Greene is a man after my own heart...he'll tell you what he thinks and gives two shits whether you like it or not. Petey, who is in jail when we first meet him and the jail house radio DJ, manages to con his way out of jail and MAKES Dewey Hughes (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) give him a job as a DJ at WOL-AM in Washington, D.C. So who is Dewey? Dewey is the brother of an inmate (played by the too cute Mike Epps...Heeeeyyyyy booo!) and the programming director at WOL. Long story short, Petey comes to WOL fearless and with a swagger that was unheard of and turns shit around. He is the voice of the community and says what everyone else wishes they could say...especially during the racially tense time during the 60's. Petey eventually becomes more than a radio DJ...he is a stand up comic and host of his own show. He does everything from getting his community through the assassination of Martin Luther King to going on The Tonight Show only to tell the white audience to kiss his ass. Gotta love him! D.C. loved Petey Greene despite and in spite of his flaws. He also is loved by his girlfriend for forever, Vernell (played by Taraji P. Henson) and she too has to deal with him Flaws and All (cue Yonce).

Don, Chiwetel and Taraji play the hell out of their roles. The movie provides everything you would want from a movie...excellent acting, an interesting story, humor, sentiment, and a feeling like watching that movie just taught you something. The fashion in the movie was also fabulous and you can read all about that from Elle.

You know you don't have shit else to do. Go and SUPPORT this movie. Why? If for no other reason....cuz I said so bitches!!!!

Random Ish...

Like I done said, Mama Patton handled it. Its a wrap for Jelly Belly! Arrivederci bitch!!! Oh but wait...then I was like that bitch ain't goin no where cuz she is carrying baby Peace Up A Town Down...but word now is that Jelly Belly is gonna need a tumy tuck earlier than expected due to pre-term labor...maybe brought on by the cussin and tantrum throwin after Ursher left to fly back to ATL to be with his mama. Then again...don't this all seem to be real interesting how this is all playing out...the wedding is canceled the day of AND now all of sudden they may or may not be losing that baby? I'm starting to think there never was a baby...Jelly Belly is known for being a liar and a ex-con...a bitch will do anything to get what she wants...I mean we all remember her sippin on that sizzurp during her pregnancy, right? Think on it bitches...think on it.

WTF is wrong with Tracey Edmonds?! Why is this bitch engaged to Eh-Dee Murphy?! Why Tracey?!! It is one thing to be dating his ass but to be his permanent beard?! Why?? Did you not see what he did to Scary Bitch? And don't think you are any better than she is because really, Eh-Dee is all about slobbin that knob and it don't matter who the bitch is on his arm, as long as she has people thinkin that he actually likes coochie, he's good. I bet Johnny Gill is at his wits end...this is not a good look at all. Its all making sense now tho...Shar Jackson done sent word that Tracey just interviewed for the Director of Public Relations position at DBU...she has a knack for making bullshit look "good". Good luck with all that Tracey.

VIBE done got something right...for once. Loves it!!

The Bitches of Destiny's Child get their "fall" on...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Ursher Done Left Jelly Belly Ya'll!

Mkay so let me find out Ursher actually came to his damn senses! I think Mama Patton basically told Usher that she would put her foot up his ass if he married that heffa and per People, it looks like that was really how things went down. Jelly Belly's jiggly ass wanted BBQ and Usher wanted to eat something fancy, Mama Patton didn't want to go and wasn't even invited until the last minute, Ben Vereen thinks Jelly Belly's a ho, and there was just way too much drama so the wedding was shut down. And I for one am happy...but I won't get too beside myself with excitement as this could very well be a trick to make us all think that they didn't get married when really, they went to some island and are drinking margaritas laughing at all of us for talking about some bullshit.

In any case, F.U. got business bitches and will be out of pocket for much of tomorrow so don't be sending me no emails asking why I'm not talking about this or that cuz I plan to talk about all that, I'll just be late wit it and you'll read it anyway....bitches!!!!!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Oh Paula....

Yes, I'm going to hell because I laughed at Paula....but only because she is so mentally unstable and she yelled at the girls for talking while she was crying and said "You guys please! I'm trying to tell a god damn story!" You see, it seems Paula was fired via email from working on The Bratz movie and people just always treat her unfairly. I'm wondering if she wasn't poppin pills on a regular would they have maybe let her keep her job? I feel for you Paula, I do. Dry those tears and look on the sunny side...you always have a place at QVC, right boo?

Is The Sky Falling?!

Word has it that Barbara Walters is hiring TWO black women to join The View. Whoppi Goldberg and Sherri Sheppard. Whoppi is the black Meredith, both are fug but Whoppi's hilarious and Sherri is the hotter slightly slimmer version of Star. Wow. It isn't confirmed but People is reporting on it, so its prolly pretty much a done deal. Oh Martin Luther Da King, how I wish you could be here to see the day when they let two black bitches sit in those seats. Let us just hope that Whoppi lets that silly dumb bitch Elizabeth Hasseljackass that she is not Rosie and not only will she keep her in her place verbally but she will cut one of her hard ass dreds off and slice her ass. Stay in your place Hasseljackass, stay in your place cuz now you got two black bitches ready to commence to bitch slappin should you lose your mind.

STOP IT BOOM BOOM KAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! You know I luh me some Boom Boom Kat and it is what we've all been waiting for! Listen to a sample of Laurie Ann's song Addictive

Why Boom Boom? Why?!! Oh, now I REALLY can't wait for her show. She sounds like a hot ass damn mess. Thank you Boom for showing us all that So You Think You Can Dance and Sing is the new fabulous....and 5, 6, 7 Boom Kat!

Don't See That....Cuz I Said So!

So I was talking to one of my BFFs (yes bitch, F.U. has friends) and she mentioned that she wanted to see that new movie with Catherine Zeta Jones, No Reservations. So I of course tell her that that movie is going to be dumb as hell AND all those people did was copy the movie Mostly Martha. Now how in the hell do you copy a movie in 2007 from a movie that was released in 2001 and then try to pass it off as a different movie?! Read the plots from each movie:

Mostly Martha:

In a German restaurant, Chef Martha Klein is the undisputed supreme ruler of the kitchen staff and woe to any customer who would dare criticize her cooking. Her life is firmly centered around cooking which takes on a obsessive level with stubborn single mindedness. Even when she is ordered to take therapy, she still constantly talks about her work and the iron clad control she relishes in her task. All that changes when her sister dies in a car accident, leaving her 8 year old daughter, Lina. Martha takes her niece in and while making enquiries for her estranged father, she struggles to care for this stubbornly headstrong child. Meanwhile at work, a new chef named Mario is hired on and Martha feels threatened by this unorthodox intruder. The pressures of both her private and work life combine to create a situation that will fundamentally call her attitudes and life choices into question while these interlopers into her life begin to profoundly change it.

No Reservations:

Master chef Kate Armstrong (Academy Award winner Catherine Zeta-Jones) lives her life like she runs her kitchen at a trendy Manhattan eatery with a no-nonsense intensity that both captivates and intimidates everyone around her. Kate's perfectionist nature is put to the test when she "inherits" her nine-year-old niece Zoe (Abigail Breslin), while contending with a brash new sous-chef who joins her staff. High-spirited and freewheeling, Nick Palmer (Aaron Eckhart) couldn't be more different from Kate, yet the chemistry between them is undeniable. Rivalry becomes romance, but Kate will have to learn to express herself beyond the realm of her kitchen if she wants to connect with Zoe and find true happiness with Nick.

Like are you kidding me? How do you just rip off an entire movie?!!! And on top of that, they don't even make the movie better than the original. Now granted Mostly Martha was not an American movie and had subtitles, I still don't think its okay for Americans just to make the same movie. And if some reason you don't trust F.U. (dumb ass) click here.

So there you have it. If for some reason you were planning to see No Reservations, Don't Do It! If for no other reason....cuz I said so Dammit!!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Favorite Lil' Divas!!!

So yesterday Russell and Kmora hosted a tea party for Ming and Aoki's Spring 2008 collection. That Aoki is just too cute!!! I really do hope that the outfits featured in their collection look a whole lot better than what the girls are wearing...why do the dresses have a candy necklace ring around the collar look poppin? And then Ming is actually wearing a candy necklace on top of that. Me no likey, but its for the kids. I do know I would be damned if I spent $75 on that bullshit when I could take my kid right to Tar-jez (Target) and get something even cuter minus the candy necklace collar for $12.99 that they won't be able to fit in two months anyway.

But beyond that, I can't wait until these girls grow up and start running shit...I can just imagine Aoki dancing on tables, giving interviews telling the world that she's that bitch and she dares anyone to tell her different, and Ming will be the quiet diva. But trust and believe these girls will not grow up to be silly crack heads like the silly crack heads currently making the news. They are going to be fly ass business woman who can have a good time dancing on the tables and looking hot to def while doing so. Not to mention, Kimora would put a foot up both their asses should they dare lose their minds. Let one of them try to be anorexic...Kimora will be quick to stuff a biscuit right down their throat. Nope, no need to worry about my girls.


So Deelishis (Flava of Love) is now an officiall recording artist and has a new video for her sinlge Rumpshaker....and what else could Deelishis sing about but her big giant ass. While the video looks rather low budget, she looks pretty good and her ass looks ginormus and deelishis as per usual. The song sounds like any other song out right now and I can already see a bitch droppin it and shakin that ass to this song in da club. The funniest thing is that I can remember Deelishis telling Flav that Krazy only wanted to be with Flav so that she can launch her singing career....well played, Deelishis. Well played.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Just For Giggles....


Damn U Yonce!!!!!!!!!! Why we can't laugh?! Everyone busts their ass er'ry now and then....your lace front helped you bounce right back up, I mean, can we get our giggle on?

In case you missd it....Who wants to watch Bey bust her ass????!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, bitch fell down like 12 steps but bitch bounced back up and kept ringing da alarm. Gotta love a bitch whose lace front is made of rubber!

And of course they (meaning Bey and her Daddy) had all videos removed before anybody got to see it but Daily Motion keeps it poppin!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Just For Giggles....

Who loves Jenny's stretchy, shiny, moon pants with shake your shimmy tassles at the bottom??????!!!!!!!!

MTB4: One More Thing!

So I'm listening to Wendy Williams right now and all the listeners want to talk about is MTB4!! The audience seems to be split. One side thinks that Laurie Ann was way out of line and it is Puff's show and she was way over the top with it and she just wants her own show and she was being all dramatic for her own benefit. And Puff had every right to get into her ass because she really did get beside herself and she didn't do what she was supposed to do. Then there is the other side that thinks that Diddy lost his mind talking to Boom Boom Kat and no man should talk to a woman like that and he's the one who is over the top and dramatic and instead of making them box and play basketball, they should have been rehearsing.

Wendy didn't watch last night so she can't give her own opinion but Laurie Ann is a friend to the show and when Laurie Ann was in the studio last week she discussed the chair throwin and Mike trying to hold her down and the fact that she has charges pending against both of them.

The real fact of the matter is that a whole lot of shit could have gone down that we just didn't see due to the power of editing. But from what we did see, I think Boom Kat just had enuff of Puffs demands and she is ready for her own show and she just said fuck it, I'ma do me and handle this how I want to. I also think that Puff is starting to see that Boom Boom is really trying to use her little part on the show to take her career to the next level and he of course was gonna nip that in the bud...so holla Boom Boom!

What do you think? Was Puff wrong? Was Boom Boom Kat wrong? Or are you like me and could give two shits who was wrong and just LOVE the drama?

Also, one of my readers reminded me of one very hilarious part that I failed to mention in my commentary....when Diddy told White Boy Dan that this is not Celebrity Fit Club!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Random Ish...

So I don't feel like talking about Ursher getting married to Jelly Belly this weekend at L.A. Reids mansion which is what everyone else seems to be focused on. I will say tho, that I'm loving Jawn Murray's open letter to the soon to join the list of self-destructers Ursher...read here. I will also say that I can't wait to see how this all unfolds...Usher is trying to shut down his #1 fan site because he doesn't like the comments being left about Jelly Belly, his son is due to arrive in December right after the release of his album, and he's fired almost his entire camp that helped to make him who he is. The things we do for love?

Congrats to Lisa Bonet for giving birth to a baby girl on Saturday with her hot 27 year old baby fatha!!

And on a fabulous note, the last edition of JANE magazine...the body issue is really hot! And just because I think she's hot, I've chosen to post pics of Eva just cuz she's gorgeous. I might have to make her my Latina girlfriend...you know, let her round out my top three with Jessica and Liya.

WTF Is Really Goin On Wit Dese White Bitches??!!!

Seriously, WTF???!! Lindsay Lohan arrested again on a DUI, Britney wiping up her dog's shit with a brand new Chanel dress, Nicole (yes she's a white bitch) is hiding out in Canada with her cruddy possible baby father because she's trying to avoid jail, and yeah Paris is trying her best to move on past her jailbird status, but we all know the good girl facade will come down just as quick as her draws do. People are starving all over this world and Nicole, who can actually afford to eat whatever the fuck she wants chooses not to and if she is pregnant just exactly what in the hell is her fetus supposed to thrive off of? And how fucked up is that kid gonna be from whippits, oxi, coke and whatever the hell else she is on.

Then Britney...at her exclusive interview for OK! Magazine, she allegedly kept fondling herself and speaking in baby talk, picked out outfits that were too small for her, and then after they took her picture she left abruptly because she's simply lost her mind. What happened to her?! Yesterday she is yelling at the photogs for taking her picture...take a look at video of Britney telling one of the photogs "Hey baby when are you going to go on a diet? Have you ever tried Weight Watchers you fat fuck!? Why don't you run?! You need to fucking jog you pussy. Yeah run, run bitch!" This psycho has two babies and she's at interviews fondling her titties AND her coochie in front of people. I think she's gonna kill herself or at least attempt to. She needs help so badly but because she is the reason that people around her have a paycheck, she makes all the decisions. And how do you help someone who is screaming for help but refuses?

Seriously this shit isn't funny anymore. And of course the parents are a huge blame. Lindsay mother's doesn't even care that Lindsay is a crack head. She's too busy developing her show on E! about making her two youngest kids stars like Lindsay. Fuckin Lionel Richie is a damn asshole talking about Nicole is doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing right now and if she is pregnant to give him a call. Really Lionel? You don't know if your daughter is pregnant and you think she's doing the right thing by starving herself and poppin pills? And who knows what's really goin on with Britney's mother. Word is Britney beat her up and told her never to come near her or her children again. Its a damn shame.

And I just want it to be known that the reason you don't see Raven Symone or the very few rich black hollywood young adults buggin out like that is because all it would have taken was one good ass whuppin from their mothers or fathers and it would have been nipped in the bud. They wait until they are like 30 or 40 to become crack heads like Whitney. But black parents would be damned if you gonna go out showing your crotch and your titties to the world, being publicly intoxicated and being so fucked up that you drive down the wrong side of the highway, and they will be even more damned if you don't eat. Oh hell no! And really there is just a respect factor for their families in that they refuse to bring shame or embarrassment to the people who love them. And I think that is the biggest problem...the "IT" girls no longer know who really love them and they clearly don't love themselves.

A waste.

MTB4: One Fuckin Monkey Don't Stop No Show!

Where in da hell do I begin?! I mean the laughter started when the one dude was tryin to do a cross over dribble with the basketball and fell into a split...and it never stopped! Those are the most non-athletic bunch of ne-groy-dians I've ever seen. I mean you expect that from the white boys, but damn! And then Puff got them boxing...now I mean, the least you need to be able to do is throw a damn punch! Willie beat Robert's ass! And I love how Puff had to two pretty boys together....Mando and Carlos. And who would have thought Chubb Rock could bob-and-weave like that? But of course the hilarity ensues when Jonathan and Qwanell, those two skinny, lanky, nerd ass dudes get in the ring. Jonathan didn't realize that this was NOT a game and Qwanell was about to go to work....now if work means doin the windmill like a bitch, then Qwanell went to work. That is how he busted Jonathan's nose. But so many times the nose can take a windmill bitch slap with a glove on. Oh Jonathan...had to run cuz you let Q beat you in basketball, then you let him beat you up and bust your nose in the boxing ring...yeah, boo this wasn't for you. But I'll get to that.

Then Diddy wants to see some singing....um, how Andrae don't know the damn words to End of the Damn Road when they been singing that song ad nauseam for the last however many weeks?! And I don't care if you are new dude, everybody knows the damn words to that song. He should have been cut right then just for that. But then....oh but then, after White Boy Dan sings Laurie Ann makes a comment....Diddy says, don't get beside yourself. Don't do it boo. He then basically tells her to shut the fuck up and that he would edit her out. My girl Laurie Ann says, please, you can't edit me out. There will be no show. WHAT?! That's right Boom Boom Kat! Let Diddy know! My name ain't Kim Porter bitch, its Laurie motherfuckin Ann and I run this....well not really, but you know. Diddy knows that he kinda needs her so he tells one of his underlings to go get her and bring her back.

Now Boom Boom Kat is MAD. It is time for the boys to rehearse. Qwanell gets his wish. Q is in love with Laurie Ann. He is turned on by that raspy voice and those leotards and fingerless gloves Boom Boom Kat wears. More than anything, he loves how she takes control and gets all mean on them. He wants his girl to tell him to get the hell in that bedroom so I can fuck the shit out of you....so I hope you was watching cuz your bacon cheeseburger needed boo wants you to boom boom kat! But anyway...Laurie Ann was not playin. She gave them like 2.2 secs to stretch and then she busted out in 4 counts of 8! Just hot mess all over the place. Jonathan then realizes that this isn't for him and he is going to quit during rehearsal. I mean I guess during rehearsal is just as good as time as any...and did he really think that they were going to be given time to hug and kiss and sing End of the Road for him? Hell to da naw! Laurie Ann was like holla! One fucking monkey don't stop no show! Who else wants to bug out? Arrivederci!!!

Then comes the cut...they all go in the "You can't dance section"....Growing Up Gotti can't believe he is going to that section...I really wanted to know why the hell not? He says "Really?" Yes really, bitch. I mean, forget a Puff for a minute. You got dudes out dancing your ass who are in the "You can't dance section"...they all been bustin their ass. I mean, really, who the hell are you right now? And then dumb ass had the nerve to speak on it...but I guess I can appreciate his nerve cuz nobody else was gonna say anything about learning dance steps in 6 hours.

Ah, but then it comes out. Why in the hell are they so bad? Why don't they know this. Um, because they just learned it. But no, Diddy says. They were supposed to be working on this all weekend. Well no, they worked on it today. Oh hell no, that's not what the instructions were. Laurie Ann asks if she can interject...Diddy says, no you can't interject cuz this is my show and there is nothing to interject about. Shit was supposed to happen and it didn't....Diddy then says he is psycho, Laurie Ann says she is psycho too, Diddy says get the fuck out, Laurie Ann says with pleasure and then says she's not scared of him...then Diddy says cut the cameras. Now at this point all we hear are the vocals and there is no evidence of a chair throwing. We all know Laurie Ann has indeed pressed charges on Puff and the actual incident cannot be shown on air if it did happen...and even if it could be show on air, Diddy is not gonna let the world see him throwin no chair at a female...so as he said he would, he edited her ass out just cuz. Now, she also has made claims Mike did some shit too but all you saw was Biv running after her askin her why she gotta act like that. Just DRAMA and I loved it!

Now before I get to my thoughts on the cuts....I would just like to INTERJECT if I may....during a commerical break I saw a Candies at Kohl's commerical featuring Fergie. Um, Fergie, boo you will not be singing Big Girls Don't Cry while pulling Candies draws off the clothes line. And fuck is that hat you wearin with that red shirt? Now back to my regularly scheduled rundown.

I can appreciate all of Diddy's cuts. Everybody he cut was not going to make the band because it is obvious the kind of look he is going for and the kind of talent he is tryin to work with. White Boy Dan had to go because he was getting beside himself thinkin he was hot shit cuz he lost weight. The dude with the razor bumps all on his neck had to go just cuz of that. But DAMMIT TO HELL DIDDY! HOW DARE YOU KEEP CHURCH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is on crutches and can't dance anyway! He didn't hurt himself while he was dancing and tearin it up! He was fuckin up and turned the wrong way and that is how he hurt himself. Why?! Just why?! Then Diddy even says that the whole church thing, the stories, the cryin is all wearin thin....this was the perfect opportunity to let him go. Oh, so disappointing. I was highly upset at that. Like pissed actually. Ugh!

Anyway....best episode of the season. One time for my girl Boom Boom Kat for holdin her own against a notorious psycho. Now I really hope your show gets picked up and I can't wait to read the tell all book. I can hold out on listening to your music tho boo...if you sing anything like you talk, then we have a problem. I also want Robert to know that Willie would have beat your ass without the gloves on and I really want you to burn that ugly fake ass Michael Jackson glittery bedazzled hat you be wearin. And can some break Church Boy's other leg so he can just be gone already?!

Stay tuned!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Seriously, WTF????!!!!

Kim is BEYOND Fug. And it isn't like she was born Fug like Chudney. No, this bitch MADE herself fugala. I mean, it was bad enuff you wanted Michael's nose but you have to put on the white powder too?! Damn you Kim!

Read A Fuckin Book Bitches!

Buffoon Entertainment Televison (BET) has been running this video and it is GREAT! If this doesn't reach those ignorant ass jackamos, I don't know what will. Let me note that it is beyond sad that this is the way we have to reach the dumb ass youth of today but hey, wateva works, right?

What A Lovely Flower

Serena took it all off for JANE Magazine....and um, she's really workin that flower all up in the crack of her booty. I'll just leave it at that. Work it Rena!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Just For Giggles....

Please look at these inmates at Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu, Philippines do their own fantabulous version of Thriller! It's not a game. Like they know every single step and have it choreographed so that all thousand of them know what to do at all times. If I had to go to jail this is exactly the kind of jail I want to go except in my jail we are gonna do 1,2, Step by Ciara.

Please be sure to note the guy with his hair in a ponytail wearing a halter top as the "girl". Love it!

Random Ish

Yonce is carrying one of 24 $45K limited edition Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork Bags. There is a lot of shit poppin on, in, around, up and out that bag. I personlly don't like it, but hey, wateva floats your lace front. However, a reminder to all of you bitches....you don't have $45,000, nor will you ever be one of the 24 owners of this bag, and I will cut any bitch I see who will have dared tried to cut up old bags, quilts, or comforters to try and duplicate this look. I mean, I will seriously back slap your bitch ass. Don't do it.

In white folk news...dammit Britney. Just why? This bitch is shooting a video and she doesn't have a choreographer and she is her own manager and clearly her own stylist. Yesterday she was swimming in the beach with in her non-matching bra and panties and today she is shooting random ass videos. And how many times can you laugh at this bitch? How many times can you say that she looks like her breath and her coochie stink? Like how did this bitch spiral so horribly out of control? I almost want to shed a tear for this silly broad....well not really but still. By the way, for those of you attending DBU Britney has been hired as Director of Student Services and Counseling. She won't be starting until the beginning of the semester in late August as she still has her own choreogaphy to come up with and she has to find a random hotel to leave her kids in. You guys are in great hands!

Shemar Moore says he isn't gay and was actually on what he thought was just a nude beach with two girlfriends. While another male prostitute comes forth and says that he provided services for Pastor Mase. Shemar may not be a practicing gay but I know he has gotten his botty hole hit up at least once and somebody done squirted off on those jagged edge teeth of his. He's still hot tho. And Mase, yup, he's gonna burn in hell.

Lastly, just so you all know, F.U. has been busy baking pies, cakes and cookies and stuff. Why you ask? Well F.U. is gonna get all up in Oprah's house in Montecito, CA to support Barack and to eat up her food. So um, yeah, its gonna take alot of cookies to raise $2,300 so if I happen to be later than usual with my post its cuz a bitch is gettin her tollhouse on mkay?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Day in WTF????!!!!

Today was a rather slow news day...like really slow....

Um, Mya, boo boo, yeah see Saran Wrap is for like sandwiches and covering casseroles and suff. Please no longer use that as part of your costumes. K? Thanks.

Well if T-Pain is in love with Ray-J and can't get over the size of his peter, then of course Kim is gonna return to slobbin that knob. I mean...Duh!

Yeah, it's all I got people. And you best enjoy it...k bitches?!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Mkay, just dayum! Djimon Hounsou is reppin the new "Steel" campaign for Calvin Klein and dammit if he isn't still as hot as he was 20 damn years ago when he was in Janet's video! Kimora it must be nice to not have to worry about looking down at your man and waxing his back hair. You lucky heffa!

Foxy Says She Was At Her Best When She Was Deaf!

For those of ya'll who care, Inga is at it again. She is talking shit about how she's Jay-z's right hand bitch and Nas' right hand bitch and how she is 20 million sold world wide and she don't care if you bitches are driving in a Range right now she had the Lambo when she was 15 and the Bentley when she was 16...she's been there and done all that bitches. She says hearing is one of the five senses...yeah, she thinks we are just as dumb as she is and we don't know that.

Most importantly, Foxy is definitely PREGGERS! She has to be...even tho she hasn't said it. She has the pregger glow, the big ta-tas....and she actually looks good. If she's not pregnant then she's on that Popeye's diet and that glow is from the trans fatty oils comin outta her pores. But anyway...I try not to talk about pregnant people....well with the exception of Ursher's baby motha....so Inga, I can understand a lil bit where you coming from but you just need to STOP talking shit and just be about it. All this talkin means nothing if you not backin it up. Like put all this shit on wax! Put the album out finally! Stop getting beat up by prostitutes! Stop not showin up for your bullshit beatin nail salon and beauty shop bitches up court cases! Like grow-up Inga, for real. Especially if you are about to be somebody's mother....oh damn you won't even be able to hear your baby cryin.

Just For Giggles...

Who Loves Lauryn?????!!!!!!!

Blind Item?

The NY Post is asking: WHICH too-good-to-be-real Hollywood leading man and his hard-bodied wife deserve Oscars for their portrayal of a perfect marriage? They both have secret lives with members of the same sex?

Yeah um, I hope we all know the answer to this question...that would be Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Will and Jada that is. We've all heard the rumors for years and years and I guess something in the facade is cracking cuz a little too much info is starting to come out and right on the heels of Duane Martin and Tisha Campbell breaking up after ten years, word is spreading that there is trouble in paradise with Will and Jada...this is all prolly due to the fact that Duane and Will just want to poke each others booty holes all day. I can see the attraction between the two of them. But if Jada is fuckin Tisha I'ma be mad. Jada is too HOT for Tisha's white brite alien lookin jinormus forehead havin, big face fugly/cute self.

With that said, keep up the charade Will and Jada. Can we have one black power couple that we can at least pretend got it right? Puh-lease?! Ashford and Simpson will not cut it mkay? Thanks.

Can We Get A Moment of Silence....

Oprah's baby died. Yes, one of her baby golden retrievers Gracie died after choking on a plastic ball that belonged to big sister, cocker spaniel Sophie. This is so sad! Oprah is devestated..."While she's still heartbroken, Oprah writes that she believes Gracie died to teach her a lesson. "Slow down, you're moving too fast... Thank you for being my saving Gracie."

Oprah and F.U. share a common love for dogs so my heart is breaking for her. Yes bitches, sometimes F.U. has feelings too. Oh damn Gracie why?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

In Case You Missed It...

Somehow Mediatakeout.com is the only site that still has a video of Kelly fallin out during her performance. She really fell the fuck out...like legs flew up and out! Damn you Yonce! Yes it is Yonce's fault that she passed out because she spent all the money on her lace fronts and didn't leave any money for water in Kelly's budget! Then you telling her to eat elephant balls and rhinoceros ass so that she can get her vocal levels up....Oh Kelly.

Just For Giggles....

Who loves Liza?????!!!!!!

Quick Lil Question....

Since when does America's Next Top Model shop at Charlotte Russo and wear cotton see-thru fugly ensembles to public events? Jaslene, boo, you look rough. Why? Is life as ANTM that hard? I mean clearly you don't eat...we know this, which explains the ghostly hungry expression in your eyes and your obviously almost non-existing body but um, if you are gonna go anorexic chic, please take a tip from Nicole. Get big ass sunglasses to cover the hungry eyes...don't wear see thru outfits as it makes the bone protrusion more visible and how dare you not wear a bra?! I don't care if you only have nubbins...and don't ever wear anything with a neck/choker thing with metal holes in it and two shake your shimmy tassles hanging down from the top of the shoulders. Mkay boo? Thanks.

Stay Tuned....Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane

I'll be on holiday out of the country when Kimora's new show premieres on the Style network on August 5th, but trust and believe that the Tivo will be set and commentary on Kimora's fabulous life will commence upon my return and I can't wait! I don't even really care about Kimora, I'm watching for the even more divalicious and most fabulous Lil Aoki. I LOVE that little girl. She is always the one posin and stuntin for the cameras and tellin her mother that she wasn't gonna eat her food cuz she didn't love her (even tho Kimora got into her ass and told that little girl to get the steppin before she knocked her block off)...just gotta love her spunk. But then after she straight ran up on Alicia Keys for not coming to her birthday party it was a wrap. I was in love! Don't be standin Aoki up. Da hell is wrong witchu beyoootch?!

MTB4: A Cold Day in June

Now what I really want to know is why in the hell doesn't June realize she is fuckin up her own shit fuckin up Robert's shit?! When he comes home cuz he got cut thanks to her bullshit and the fact that he's a punk ass who can't focus cuz he's so worried about what her dumb ass is doin...she's gonna be real mad that now he's back home workin at the Chicken Hut. Then she's gonna leave his ass for JayQuan down the block who she been fuckin all while Robert's been gone. And really, I'm ready for Robert to go cuz he's not cute, he needs invisalign, he needs a serious style make over and he doesn't have good group etiquette. You do not leave rehearsal to talk to your girlfriend about some silly shit for an hour. You just don't do it.

Who's proud of Chubb Rock?! He lost 11 pounds and looked like he was about to cry cuz everybody else got to order sausages, ham, butter, syrup, pancakes and everything else fat and greasy. He managed to keep it lite and just order a lil grilled chicken and some roughage. Make it do what it do Chubb! But um, next time let's leave the grillz at home kay boo?

I can appreciate Diddy askin the most "consistent" dudes to make their recommendations for who should go but since when did White Boy Dan become the voice of the group?! And really, I'm not mad at his choice for who should go especially that Jeremic dude who has no business tryna be in a group when he can't function in a group setting. But the point is, just cuz you lost a lil weight White Boy Dan don't mean you runnin things....simma down. I also want Growing Up Gotti aka Donnie to buck up a lil bit. It was like 8 of you who made the choice to send people home. Who cares. At the end of the day you need to be worried about you. Diddy put three white bitches in Danity Kane but there are only two white boys this go round and White Boy Dan is tryna run things so HE is who you really need to be focused on taking out. And let's work on tryin to use about 1/3 less of all that gel in your hair kay boo?

Who loves Mike Bivens?!!!! Let's try it one more time....just call me Mike.

Why is Church boy still around. He is starting to look like Gary Coleman's older skinnier brother. Whatchu Talkin Bout Diddy? Send his ass home!

Who can't wait for next week??????!!!!! The battle of the psychos: Diddy and Laurie Ann!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

A Bitch Was Busy Today....

So um, I had shit to do today and didn't have time to spread the stankness but I just wanted to ask a few questions:

1. Why is the Ass of a GoldenDoodle shooting bitches? I mean what is really going on here? Damn you Shesus! Looking at you is enuff to make a bitch die a thousand deaths...did you really have to start buckin?

2. Um, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. You make enough damn money to have Gatorade, Vitamin Water, Poland Springs or whatever with you at all times!! Why are you fainting from deydration on stage?! You know what....since you was in Lagos, Nigeria I bet Beyonce told you to eat elephant balls cuz it will help your vocals. And you listened. A damn shame.

3. And just for giggles.....Who Loves Britney?????

Friday, July 13, 2007

Random Ish....

In case you needed to know the definition of the word 'Crunk', you can now look it up. It has become an official new addition to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary and it case you didn't know, Crunk is defined as: "a style of Southern rap music featuring repetitive chants and rapid dance rhythms." Great. I also heard they were going to add the word 'Fug' to the dictionary and a picture of Chudney Ross is going to be next to it. Followed by the word 'Fuglier' with a picture of Tameka "Tiny" Cottle.

So um, I'm sure you have all heard that D. Woods from Danity Kane is leaving and that Aubrey (who the fly Lauren London has made her BFF...eww Lauren) is joining the Pussy Cat Dolls and will be replacing Asia who won the Search for the Next Pussycat Doll competition. Dawn from DK has made a statement on her myspace page to address fans who maybe concerned how they plan on living without DK:

To answer all the rumors thats been out there about Aubrey and D. Woods pursuing their solo careers. We support them in their decision. However, myself, Aundrea, and Shannon are choosing to continue in our efforts to make Danity Kane the best for our fans who love us and what we represent AND the respect we have for our group.

First of all, Dawn, once Diddy decided he was looking for a boy group and MTB4 got underway, it was a wrap on all ya'll. And B, HA! You and Shannon and Aundrea are not going to be DK by yourselves!! It just won't happen. For one, you and Shannon are the fugliest of the group, Shannon is boring as all hell and serves no purpose, and while Aundrea has the most vocal talent of you all she doesn't have the fabulocity to carry a group by herself. Aubrey will fit right in with PCD, should the rumors be true, because they don't do shit but pop and lock in panties and that is right up her alley. D. Woods, whom I think is the hottest of all you bitches may even have a tough time tryna do the solo thing but she prolly has more of chance than the rest of you. However....I just want D. Woods to know that Rhianna is HOT right now, has two hit singles and her album has been out for five weeks and has yet to sell 500,000 copies......so um, you and Laurie Ann might be in the same boat. Think about it boo.

Oh Bobby. Damn. I can't even believe this bitch is so desperate. Like she actually let's you touch her. She must really love you cuz its not like you can provide anything for her and I know your dick no longer works. You are broke, your mouth is permanently crooked, and you are a loser. And no surprise to see you looking like the crack head you are but she is looking real crackish too. She looks mad and crackish actually. How is it that you manage to stay keeping your bitches mad and cracked out Bobby?

And just for me....the hottness that is Reggie Bush. Yum. But we don't like Reggie. He's fuckin Kim HoDashian right now and I don't 'preciate it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007


Ok first...people, why can't you leave comments in the section that says comments?! There are like 2 or 3 people who leave comments faithfully. It isn't that hard. I LOVE your emails, trust me, but don't be scurred....you can say what you want for everyone to read...share the stankness please. And to Mika or whatever your name is....don't let me see you in the street boo. I will pull a Foxy on your ass right quick. Holla if you heard that bitch.

And secondly...WSID? from the most recent F.U. to the Rescue edition has contacted me and has said the following:


How did I know you would post this immediately? Thank you for your help. I still don't know what to do but I do think that I have to face this head on. I would be risking quite a lot...my career, my life, my friends and family. I've thought about this for a long time. But I'm not gay and I don't want to be gay. I just want to be with this one man. I will figure this out. And I just wanted to tell you that it wasn't L.L. I was dreaming about.



OMG, WSID?! Please don't become a downlow. Don't do it! First let me just say that you didn't provide a whole lot of information about yourself, so knowing that your girlfriend is a reader of YISIAW? just made me think that any of the females who read this would be questioning their men and you could easily lie and say it wasn't you....but now I'm starting to think that you did this on purpose so that SHE WOULD read it and would know it was you. You are so gay!!! I mean I knew it cuz no dudes dick is gonna get hard for no other man if he isn't gay but then I thought maybe it was just something that happens some time. I mean who knows?! I'm not Dr. Ruth!!!

So looka here....and I'm being very serious. I think your girlfriend probably already knows you are gay or may at least have had a passing thought on it, but since you have such a great life going on she has probably been ignoring it. You know you only have one of two options. You can continue to live your life as a lie and put your girlfriend (and future wife and mother of your kids) at risk OR you can stop the lie and be true to yourself and find happiness. NO it won't be easy but nothing in life worth anything ever is. Plus the world is very accepting of being gay more than ever right now (F.U. love da kids!). And damn you! My job is to cuss you out and tell you what a fagalicious bitch you are and you are making me get all serious with you! Do what you know is right. Keep me posted.


F.U. To The Rescue! It's a Boy...Well Sort Of

F.U. has been asked for advice from a boy. So this edition of F.U. To The Rescue will not focus on beating a bitch down for stealing your man or F.U. calling you all types of skeezin hos cuz you screwed your mama's man. Nope. This right here is about a man in a most interesting predicament. He knows the drill and knew for sure I was posting this bad boy. So let's see how F.U. helps him out, shall we?

Dear F.U.,

I've just become familiar with your blog. My girlfriend sent me the link the day you gave your rundown on the BET Awards. That was really funny and I've been checkin for you everyday since. I noticed that you do something of an advice thing and I decided to just shoot you an email and see what happens. I can't really talk to my boys about what I've been going through and I defintely can't talk to my girlfriend.

I love my girlfriend and we have been together for almost 4 years. We are both 28 and doing very well for ourselves career wise and financially. We live together in a nice home and hope to get married soon and start a family . I know I'm very good looking as is she and when we first met the physical attraction was deep. Then of course we grew to love each other based on our common interest, our ambitions and we just really enjoyed being with each other.

Things started to change for me when a new guy was brought into my firm. We hit it off right away and we've been working on the same projects and spending a lot of time together. I've never been gay nor am I gay but....my dick gets hard everytime I see him or I think about him. This has never happened to me before and I'm confused. It is becoming more difficult for me to work with him and not have to go and release myself in my office. And now sometimes I have to think about him to have sex with my girl. The crazy part is that he hasn't told me that he's gay but I can tell that if I give him the opportunity, we will end up having sex. It is taking everything in me to refrain from doing this.

I love my girlfriend and I want to marry her. I am just wondering if this is something I should explore or just do my best to ignore it and hope these feelings go away. I know you are going to post this on your blog and that's okay, just go easy on me. I haven't done anything wrong yet and I'm just looking for a little bit of guidance.


What Should I Do?

Dear What Should I Do?

First let me just tell you that I was all ready to make you send me a picture and all your stats cuz I just knew that your girlfriend did something to you and was a lyin ass bitch and I was gonna need to tell you to drop that ho and come holla at your girl. But um, you really threw me for loop with your situation and since I don't have any real experience with those that are "How You Doin"/gay with the exception of like Al You Doin Reynolds, Ne-Yo, and possibly Shemar Moore , I don't know whether to tell you that you are How You Doin or if you are just having some real strange sexual experiences right now.

Sometimes women think other women are hot. For example, I tell everyone that I'm in love with Jessica White and Liya Kebede cuz I am. They are so georgeous and if I was gay, those indeed would be the type of bitches I was pullin. But hence, they don't make me cream in my panties the way, Tank or Idris Elba do so it does end with me just loving to stare at them. There are other women who aren't gay but very curious and like to try all types of things with men and women. But if I know a female has had sex with a woman and I know she has sex with men too, I personally wouldn't classify her as gay. But if I know a man is "bi-sexual" then you are GAY! Now take that how you want to cuz you know F.U. don't give a fuck but if I know you are stickin your dick in the mouth or the booty hole of another man then you are GAY! And I think you should be proud of it and accept it and come out that closet so you can live your life happily and in peace and without fear. All you closet motherfuckers and "homo-thugs" are the reasons why females end up all fucked up in the game. Using a female as a beard or a cover up is the worst thing you can do. You hear me Eh-ddie Murphy?!

But back to you WSID?, if you have never been attracted to a man before and this is just some out of control urge you are having, then I say maybe do your best to ignore it. However, if you can't have sex with your girlfriend without thinking about him then maybe you need to really explore this other side of you and if you are gay, let your girlfriend know IMMEDIATELY. She'll be hurt and will stomp your balls but you will get over and so will she. It is the best thing for both of you. And if dude is that hot, I say you better go catch you a blow job and stop playin! Awwwwwwrrrrriiiighhhhhhtttttt, heeeeeeeyyyyyyy!

P.S. to all you bitches reading this and your man actually has a job, and he's been workin late, and has a new guy at the office and all of sudden want to be putting extra aftershave on....you best start askin some questions mkay boo?

P.P.S F.U. was nice right? I went easy on dude and didn't tell him that he knows he's gay and been having wet dreams about L.L. Cool J since he was 15 years old. But this was a special case as it was the first male to ask for help and I actually really feel a lil bad for him because I know he is all confused and fucked up right now. Don't get used it to tho....


See, now....mkay. Ummmmmm....what do I want to say here. Well I want to say that I guess I understand the concept and I respect the bravery....celebrating beauty no matter what size, no matter what shape. BUT DAMN YOU MO! Some people just need to refrain from body paint. Just NO! And then it isn't even nice body paint...like who or what is the bitch in the aqua green and black supposed to be? Like really, people. Please let's learn where to draw the line. I am all for freedom of expression and doin your thing but when the bottom half of you is painted so that you look like Grimace, it is just not acceptable. Not a good look.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Are You Fuckin Kidding Me????!!!!!

THIS is what Usher has chosen to marry AND procreate with. Dammit, all you bitches out there that can't find a man fret no longer....if this cruddy, stretch mark jiggly stomach havin, handsome lookin ho can pull an Usher, worry no more! Clearly looks and body and all that extra stuff is not necessary. Put down that proactiv, get you a greasy slice a pizza, get off that treadmill, put on some white high waisted panties under some patterened tights and go get 'em bitches!!!

Summer Reading...

For those of you who don't know Miss Jones as a fat ass hater radio DJ on NYC Hot 97's morning show, then you know her as a gap toothed one hit wonder with her song...um, damn, what's the name of that song again? Wow, I really can't remember. Anyhoo....Miss Jones done wrote herself a book. And is putting quite a few people on blast. We all knew she was going to talk about Beyonce because she HATES her and has never kept that a secret. If you think you can't stand Beyonce, oh Miss Jones takes it to another level. She believes that somehow Beyonce's career is the career she is supposed to have. It is sad actually. (Listen Here: She has a lot of time on her hands)

Anyway....She also can't stand Wendy Williams because Wendy's radio success has surpassed just radio and Wendy is paid and fabulous and simply doin the damn thing. I mean, Robin Givens is playing Wendy in her feature film and Miss Jones....well, she'll be lucky if people buy her book...hence why she's just a loser and clearly very bitter and has decided that she was gonna get her shine by talking about old shit no one cares about. But hey, everyone is writing a book these days, so why shouldn't she? Should you care, here is some of what she discusses (per NY Daily News)

In bed with Busta Rhymes: Miss Jones airs the details

Rapper Busta Rhymes once proposed to Hot-97 FM radio host Tarsha Jones in the sack.

"With Busta, it was only sex," Jones writes in her tell-all "Have You Met Miss Jones? The Life and Loves of Radio's Most Controversial Diva" (Ballantine). "I learned not to trust a proposal of marriage made in bed."

The rapper gets one great big compliment in the motor-mouthed memoir. "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing," Jones writes. "Busta's lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart."

But, Jones adds, "The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn't bother me, because I didn't enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me."

Afterward, "Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich - for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It's not like he didn't offer me a bite." Of the sandwich.

Jones goes on to call Beyoncé "barrel-a-d" and says her "acting leaves something to be desired." She then claims that when she first met Beyoncé's fiancé, Jay-Z, "he turns and stares at my ass" and made a sexual remark.

There's plenty of drama, too. When Jones lived in the same apartment building as the Notorious B.I.G., his lover Lil' Kim begged Jones to let her in to confront the rapper's wife, Faith Evans, she claims.

When Russell Simmons comes on her radio show, she writes, "he launches into a blistering 10-minute promotion of 26 products he's created in the last two days."

Rival deejay Wendy Williams is, of course, not spared. "After all of her years in radio, [she] has not elevated above curb level in terms of paving the way for other women in radio. Disappointing."

And when Mary J. Blige fell onstage during Hot-97's Summer Jam last year, Jones was glad, because Blige forgot to thank her at the mike. "Karma is a bitch," Jones writes in the book, which she'll sign at Borders on Columbus Circle next Wednesday night.


Kelly FINALLY gets an album release party...a week after its release. It went down last night in NYC. Word has it that the DJ only played 2 of Kelly's songs while they played Beyonce and Jay all night. Sounds like fun times indeed! Kelly, a dumb bitch is as a dumb bitch do. I really don't want to have to make you Director of Music at DBU. Wake the fuck up!!! You looked real cute tho boo!

And can I just say one more thing about Yonce? Yeah, um, how Yonce gonna throw two or three birthday parties for Solange...the very first one being on the day Kelly's album was released...and deciding, only AFTER realizing that Kelly's album is BOMBING a WEEK after its release, that it is time to have an album release party and maybe do some marketing? You and your Dad are great B! Like, Kelly is so lucky to have you guys. Really. Oh and nice shirt too! Way to promote your sister!

Big Brother 8 is GREAT!

Ok, one more thing I told myself I wouldn't do and I did....I said I would not get all caught up in Big Brother this season because the new "twist" just seemed really planned and so fake and corny. But alas, I have failed because Big Brother is like crack! I don't know how many of you are watching but I just have to know if you are watching.....how pumped are you that Joe the most fabulous stereotypical gay man and his ex-boyfriend Dustin who hate each other are in the house (some serious shit is about to go down between those two...either for or against each other) but even more important, how much do you love Joe for telling all the roommates that Dustin gave him gonorrhea AND for telling Nick that Jen was lying to everyone telling them that Nick tried to make out with her and she told him no?! Joe is too much and I love him!! And I am so over Jen and I am so mad that Daniele did not use her power of veto to get that bitch out of the house....altho I do understand her reasoning for not doing so. AND how many times is Amber gonna have a conversation with GOD about why he needs to keep her in the house?! And I am the only mad that Kail is a "multi-business owner" tryna pretend she is just a real estate house wife bitch who really wants to win money she doesn't need? And am I the only one who loves Jameka? Not just because she is the only black girl and she hid the veto in her bag of hair and made sure to let America know (don't get it twisted America!)that her hair is real but she does choose to put extensions in BUT because she's cute and smart and I think she's gonna be a real contender.

Oh goodness, Big Brother done done it again! I'm a mess. And you know if you have Showtime, you can watch Big Brother on Showtime After Hours....stop it.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm On Fire...Burnin' Up, My Underarm is Burnin Up!

LOL! I really didn't want to post anything about the two audience members that got burned up at Beyonce's concert last night. I done said I was so tired of this heffa but it is just always something with her! And I, like all of you, watched the video of the fire literally rain down on Yonce and then spark up and start burning up the poor victims who were just there to get their Yonce on.

That is funny enuff. But then I came across the interview of the victims. It is so not funny but it so is! First of all, I could have sworn I saw the flamer (literally he is gay and he was on fire) who got burned up under his underarm on YouTube in a Freak Em Dress home video. Secondly, the picture with Beyonce standing next to them while they are both in wheelchairs all burnt up and she is smiling like they are at Disney World is too damn funny!!! Yonce is HOT indeed.

Sashay Shante'

See I thought after Andre Leon Talley had Jenny Hud looking like Judy Jetson at the Oscars that she was done with him. However, I'm guessin she has forgiven and if he picked out the ensemble she is wearing at Valentino's 45th Anniversary Celebration gala, then he did a good job because I actually think she is working the one shoulder gown fabulously. I don't know if I really like that dress but Jen is makin it do what it do. But um, as for Miss Talley....you have left me speechless you big giant Last Dragon mu-mu wearing hot mess you!

The Ass of the GoldenDoodle is Shesus!

This would be the cover of Remy Ma's new mixtape....ummmmmm, did Jesus have bangs?

Stop It Laurie Ann!

A Boom Boom Kat, Laurie Ann you are so wack! Why is Laurie Ann trying to parlay her MTB "fame" into a singing career?! She is now shopping around a reality show (prolly to be picked up by VH-1) which shows her transformation from choreographer to singing sensation. I actually wrote that without laughing hysterically. Damn you Boom Boom Kat! Why must everyone try to be a singer?! Why can't you just contniue to reach new levels of what you are actually good at. Now granted, Laurie Ann just may be able to sing (really doubting that, but let's pretend) but could you really see yourself going out and purchasing Boom Boom Kat's album? Didn't think so boo, didn't think so. If nothting else, her show might actually be very entertaining. I'll be watching for it...


Mmmmkay, see I really didn't know Garcelle was workin with all this....and I really don't think there is a lot of air brushin goin on. These are the inside pics of Garcelle's spread in Playboy. Fancy, your body is ba-dangin and I'm not mad at you at boo. If I was 49 1/5 years old and my body was makin it do wut it do like that, I would be all up and thru Playboy too. Hot.

MTB 4: Is Church Boy Really Still There?!

OK first off, if I hear End of the Road one more damn time! And B, why is Church Boy still there? For that matter, why is Brian A. still there. Yes they are both two of the best singers and I give Brian a whole lotta respect for steppin up to do the "sing off" but um, they both look like black leprechauns! Like they would be an even fuglier version of Pretty Ricky (and dammit if that's possible). Damn you Diddy! You say that you were not necessarily basing your cuts off of thier performances but more about who you can see in a group. Can you really see them little fuglies in a group that will actually SELL and appeal to women? I must say though....um, Chubb Rock aka Michael, handled his when it was time for him to get his sexy singing on. Well done Chubb. And yeah, after about a loss of 50+ pounds, I could see him really being a contender.

Anyway, I'm glad the fake Chris Brown is gone. He should have been cut in the first round. Auditions for So You Think You Can Dance are that way boo. And as for dude, Lewis aka Dre is it? You had the nerve to cry and gonna be asking Mike how they gonna do that to you....um, you know damn well you asking the wrong one. And why in the hell didn't you ask Diddy why he did that to you? You know Mike can't save your ass and cryin clearly wasn't helping your cause. Hence why both Mike and Slam were staring at you mouths open like you were an idiot. And singing one last round of End of the Road just added to your extra punkish send off. I mean it is okay to be sad, but clearly you didn't do what you needed to do. So deal wit it. Plus there are now 20 more dudes to sort thru one more gin and only 4 or 5 of ya'll are gonna make it so two tears in a bucket and fuck it if ya don't.

And did Laurie Anne really ask Brian for a Boom Boom Kat? HA!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Who Needs Edges?

When you can rock a fly ass wig with a bang. Naomi is simply stunning. I do find motivation in discussing hotness. Not that I have a whole lot to say about it, but a PinkistheNewblog.com reader sent Trent some pics of Naomi on a billboard in Israel. Isn't she like 46 and 3/4 and she's still that bitch? Just fierce!

What's My Motivation?

People, F.U. is bored!! I don't give a shit about Eva Langoria or Tony "unibrow" Parker getting married. I don't care about Solange and her second, third or fourth birthday party. Nobody cares about her period. And I mean damn, just how many times can I write about Yonce...from what I hear about her performance at Essence Fest, she used up her last bit of juice at the BET Awards. But she's Yonce and even when she doesn't do the damn thing, she still manages to be the baddest bitch in comparison to everyone else. Am I the only one tired of this? Like will no one else step up and at least try to dethrone her?! Word has it Mya is fuckin for tracks right now to upgrade her new cd but we all know that bitch won't come close to Yonce status. Sigh...she'll be yet another one to have tried and failed. Just damn.

One of my menzes, Tank, was out and about at Essence Fest...he motivates me. Good gravy....luv him. But I digress....

How many times can we talk about the fool that is Foxy Brown?! This bitch was lost. Yes lost. Her people just simply couldn't find her. Funny enough, she just shows up at the Urban Music Awards and had the nerve to be talking shit about Rah Digga and Remy Ma. This from the bitch who just got her weaved snatched out and her hearing aid ripped up out of her ear. And no she is not talking bout "Holla if you hear me!!!" Bitch, can you hear me?! And I guess you didn't hear anyone tell you that you look like a bloated turkey poppin out of that dress that clearly doesn't fit. Are you blind now too?

And really, we all know that Remy Ma looks like the ass of a GoldenDoodle, but Foxy, you will not pretend to be lost then found and then with nothing to promote or talk about, decide you are just gonna start talking bout people. You are the wackest. Like really, Inga Marchand, I suggest you get lost for good.

I am happy for Venus' win. I won't even talk about that hair (the bang that starts from the middle of her head and just sticks all out over the visor). Or the dress she wore to celebrate. Or her boyfriend. Oh but its hard....damn you Venus. But I'll just marinate on the good and my girl is making history....so one time for you Venus!!!

I'm just sayin....I don't really feel like there is anything or anyone really worthy of observation or discussion right now. Normally, the heat brings out the foolery in most people and there should be all types of stankness to disperse amonsgt the masses....so I'm guessing until Beyonce gets on her yacht and sails away never to return (or maybe just stay hidden for a good year) and as long as Foxy is dtermined to keep her name in the news by any means necessary...this will be one long boring ass summer.

I could start talking about them kids at the Harry Potter premier...Harry and all em lookin like shaggy wet dogs. But nope, I'll wait it out. Just wait it out with me bitches!