Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Just in Time For Halloween....





Lil Kim rocks her usual slut-tastic show her titties outfit. I mean...at least she's consistent but what I want to know is....why did she even bother with the tittie tape when it was all in her plan to show those shits.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

For Elle....


Elle, my fabulous sweet jam, is the only who can explain Kerry Washington's get up. I'm not even going to reference the fact that I think she looks like a pumpkin with a curly wig wearing burnt skin tight curtains. I mean, I'm no fashionista and never claimed to be....but you are my luv...so speak on it.

Elle says: "Just wow. 14 kinds of wrong. I think I now know exactly what color burnt sienna is! She reminds me of a mermaid who sprouted from a pumpkin patch. And her clutch looks like an oversized remote control. That's all."

Well there you have it bitches. If the Fashion Diva counts up to 14 on the levels of "just hell to da naw" then you have fucked up royally and need to be back slapped and beat in the head with your oversized clutch. Mirrors people....they work.

For everything that is fashion, be sure to learn all that you can from Elle....she's here for you, you, and especially you.....In A Word Fab!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Seriously, Someone Has Been Drinking FUG BE GONE!!!


You Better Work Rena!!!!

Dammit Thandie!!!


You know what, forget it Thandie. You don't seem to have a clue (still love you like cooked food tho boo!) So I'll just send a warning out to up and coming biracials of Hollywood: Halle, I don't expect you to follow this trend with your baby but I just thought I would point out to you how Thandie Newtwon allows her biracial children to walk around lookin to' up from the flo' up! Thandie seems to think that just because these kids are white and whatever else that she don't need to run a comb through their hair. Again since you are a mixed baby yourself -- but I know you need a perm -- you won't allow this to happen. I just really wanted to make sure that you don't let your celebrity go to your head and think cuz your baby got some whiteness in it that its okay to walk around looking fabulous while your kid looks like it could be on a Penny A Day Saves A Child commercial.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Holy Fug!!!


When in the da HELL did Fugnee Zellweger turn into such a monster? DAYUM! This bitch got the nerve to show up at the premier of The Bee movie looking like that...I can imagine how many kids ran away and cried after seeing her scary Gremlin looking ass.

Video O' The Day

O.M.G....If you have nothing else to do today...only if you have nothing else to do....please watch this little boy singing "Umbrella". It is literally cringe-tastical. Why? Just why?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

No...This is Really the Pic O' The Day


Supposedly Yonce's trash is disposed of in Louis Vuitton trash bags. Since when are Glad bags no longer good enough to throw your Popeyes chicken bones in?

Pic O' The Day


Um, have you ever seen Serena and especially Venus look this good? EVER? These two are seriously workin it at this photo shoot for ESPN Magazine....like they've gone from Fug to Fab! And Serena's ass is -- as per usual -- makin it do wut it do in that dress. Loves it!

ANTM: The Pelican Has Flown The Coop!

Mkay first....did you see the way Tyson bit into that mango. Take.Me.Higher and Wipe.Me.Down!!!! His lusciousness just don't make no damn sense. And really he was the best part of the whole show....well that and Ebony giving up on herself and quitting and realizing that her bird ass served no purpose and was not destined to be nobody's top model. I think Saleisha's group should have won the challenge....that was a bullshit ass technicality. But I was happy Ass-bergers got her name picked to do the Carol's Daughter photo shoot.....and she worked it! In terms of the real photo shoot my girl Saleisha finally came thru with a hot one! And Ass-bergers was hot to def as per usual. That street walker Jena looks dirty even with a clean dress on but again, her photos are fierce. I didn't really care for anyone else's picture. I agreed with Tyson about Chantal's hair doin too much in her photo. Sarah's face looked good and I hate Lisa's hair. Oh Bianca looked pretty good too but I'm ready for her to go too. Ambreal should have been gone last week, and she got another break because the Pelican is a loser.....the Pelican is somewhat like Tiffany...except not ghetto. But they both couldn't deal with the criticism so they purposely destroyed their chances. I don't know what that is all about but oh wellz...fly away bird face....Fly away.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Really Howard? Are You Sure You Didn't Kill Anna Nicole?

YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!

And Speaking of Ignorance...


I thought I could ignore it. I thought I could just shake my head and think to myself what a donkey this bitch is. But I can't help it....I had to send inmate #555Jackass a letter.

Dear Stanky Brown,

So I hear that being sentenced to a year in jail means nothing to you. I mean you couldn't even hear the people talking to you on the Blackberry that you chose to hit that girl with....was it worth it? Do you really think that missing court appointed bus rides to court for silly reasons such as applying your make-up and eating lunch in the prison cafeteria is going to help you sell albums? And now you've gone and gotten yourself put in solitary due to three separate altercations. Word has it you almost got your ass shanked and that is why the girl you was fighting got 11 days. But you got 76 days because of all of your previous shaninigans. What are you really trying to prove Stanky? After all of this we still don't believe you. You are seriously like the corniest bitch out there. You are 28 years old and you think getting beat up by hookers and beating up nail salon bitches is cute. It's not and we are all so over you. You are a loser. You are done. I hope you use solitary as a time to reflect over what you are doing to yourself and your career. I hope you are able to find yourself and realize that you have no idea who you are and are so far from understanding your self worth that I can guarantee you that what you mistake for love/support from others right now is nothing but pity.

We as a people, especially in this country are idiots, so who knows....maybe when you get out your album will go beyond platinum. I can only hope that at some point you will understand that you are sending a message to other hood rat little girls that going to jail and all that wack bullshit is how to rise to the top. That would be asking for a lot though....seeing as how you aren't only deaf, but based on the shade of lipstick you insist on wearing, you are clearly blind and it was obvious to us a long time ago that you are dumb as hell.

Get it together Stanky,

F.U.

Intergration is the Illusion of Inclusion

Dr. Julia Hare, National Executive Director of The Black Think Tank, is going off and speaking all kinds of truth! She speaks out at Tavis Smiley's The State of Black America Summit, and I for one, decided that I was going to post her speech on my blog because every now and then I can choose to not add to the ignorance (altho I crack myself up on a regular basis). I can choose to use what power I do have to spread the intellect, the words, and actions of our leaders...Amen Dr. Hare.

Monday, October 22, 2007

THRILLER 25 Years Later...



So I don't think I'm alone when I say that Michael Jackson USED to be my boyfriend and my most favoritest singer, performer, entertainer of all time. I mean I know I couldn't possibly be the only one that used to wish I was little when Michael was little so we could sing The Love You Save together or we would be playing in the park and I would be on the swing and he would be pushin me while he sang Rockin Robin or we would both be on stage singing Maybe Tomorrow and I would be tearin it up! Basically he loved me and I loved him. But then there was Thriller...seriously, Thriller has to still be one of my favorite albums of all time. I know I'm not the only one who still knows ALL of the choreography to the Thriller mini-movie video. I know I'm not the only one who used to watch the making of the Thriller mini-movie and my favorite part was when Michael was in make-up and it took hours for him to become the wolf and they sped that part up and the background music they were playing Working Day and Night. And I know I'm not the only one that still drops it like nobody's business when PYT comes on. I think that may be one of my favorite songs of all time. But anyway....why I am talking about Michael Jackson? Well FoxNews.com is reporting that the 25th anniversary edition of Thriller is on its way!!

Jackson’s new music attorney, Peter Lopez, told me on Tuesday that about four of the original "Thriller" tracks are being remixed as "extras" for the CD package. Kanye West, Akon and will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas are supposed to be doing that work. The songs are "Billie Jean," "The Girl Is Mine," "Wanna Be Starting Something" and "Pretty Young Thing."

In addition, Lopez says that four tracks left off "Thriller" in 1983 will be included. Jackson’s longtime producer Bruce Swedien, who no longer works with the pop star, told me that one track he knows of is a killer. It’s called "Don’t Be Messin’ Around." Swedien doesn’t know any of the other tracks left off the album but said there may be some out there.

This excites me!! I don't necessarily need Akon involved in anything Michael related but at this point I'm just so happy to know that Michael is doing anything other than owing taxes and making white babies. I also don't need to see Michael in any videos. I will be happy with just music. So anyway....something else musical for me to look forward to.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Pics O' the Day

So um, ya'll know I have a thing for hot chics and while I'm already embroiled in my own steamy love affair with my women (ya'll know who they are) I can't help but notice that Lauren London and Cassie are gorgeous. They were out at the launch party for the new Sean Jean women's line....and in case you haven't seen one of their many new ads...Lauren and Cassie are the faces of Sean Jean women (Diddy knows what he's doing). Anyway.....I just enjoyed looking at them. Maybe you will too.






Whitney's Back Ya'll!

Whitney has put the pipe down...YES!!! She looks gorgeous and she's returned to speaking in the 'proper' dialect.... you know, the one Clive trained her to speak in. I'm so happy for her. Take a look at her appearance at the London Fashion Rocks event.

American Gangsters

So the lusciousness came out for the premiere of the highly anticipated movie, American Gangster (November 2nd). I cannot wait to see this movie simply for the scrumptious hot to def eye candy that is all up in it....I mean, all I need is Denzel but it doesn't stop there.....my husband, the beyond sexy, chocolate, dee-licious plain ol' FINE as hell Idris Elba (aka CITP), Common (YUM!), Chiewtel Ejiofor (take me higher!), and T.I. (the cutest lil man there is)....le sigh. While not all the hotness was there for the premiere (ya'll know T.I. is busy with the Feds at the moment)....there were others (Method Man still makes it do wut it do!)

No words necessary....except DAYUM.

I just want a taste....just a taste.

Ummmm Cuba's not hot, but I thought he worked this angle...and he is in the movie.


Diddy isn't cute or sexy....but dammit if he don't think he is. I do love this man's swagger.

Yeah um, Jay is fugly as all get out....but he was there.


Years later Meth is still all I need to get by....

And it just don't get no better than the ree-diculous hotness that is the love of my life....Idris.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

When U Can't Find Your Way Out the Flaming Closet...

You dry hump trannys. EWWWW!

ANTM: Ass-bergers On Ice!!!

I LOVE HEATHER!!! Her attempt at jumping on the trampoline was funny as hell but then when she got on the ice and the guy was trying to pick her up and her body just wasn't moving...that shit had me rollin. That was the highlight of the whole show. Seriously, there should be a show devoted to all the shit Ass-berger can't do. Fun-E! And she's still hot...profile photo or not. Naima had the same problem and that bitch won.

Anyhoooo, as for the challenge on ice....first of all, that was a bullshit challenge. They really are just pulling shit out of their asses now. And no, I don't think Lisa was the best at the challenge. She didn't look like she was expressing sorrow to me...her body wasn't even poised and she was shaking....but maybe that's what sorrowful is supposed to look like. I was just mad she picked the Pelican for the photo shoot....that bird bitch needs to go! And Lisa is way too sensitive for her to have lived the life she has lived. All the drama she done been through and she letting these silly jealous hos get to her. I mean, I bet she done had to almost shank a bitch in Jersey City at one of her stripper clubs...she should be laughing at those skeezers.

Saliesha needs to stop wearing those damn hair bow tie things. She looks like a raggamuffin when she does that. But I was happy with her picture this week! And lastly, I think between Ambreal and Janet, Ambreal should have gone home. There is something special about her and she has an exotic (not quite Alex Wek) look but it isn't reflecting in her pictures. Her face is too hard or something. But really, Sarah should have gone home. Her picture was wack as hell and she's not cute in real life either. I don't think that hair cut helped her. And how do they let Jena come to panel lookin like Amy Crackhouse's blonde twin? She knows how to take a hot pic tho.

That's all.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Random Ish....



Dani is the new face for Akademiks. I love that she stays with a job and always looks hella fab....well not always....but um, D is makin it do wut it do.

What is there to say? My girls are just the cutest and Kimora is the luckiest bitch...I would really like to sit down with Kimora and discuss how much better her life must be now that she is no longer getting poked by Russell and is now getting her back blown out and weave twisted regularly by a Mandingo....I mean I know the answer, I just want to live vicariously.....damn her!


DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!!!





Rih Rih out and about lookin cute as per usual but um...hasn't she been out and about a bit much lately? I could use a few days without a Rih Rih sighting. Eh, Eh.


Lastly, Salt (from Salt-N-Pepa) did a video interview for People magazine and she introduces her family and talks about her departure from S-N-P...nothing new here but she looks pretty and her family is so cute. Her daughter looks just like her. Should you feel like watching, click: AMEN

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Don't Hate

One of my girlfriends...the most dee-lish-us Eva Mendez is on the November cover of Maxim Magazine and has a ree-diculously hot spread inside......love her!





HOT!



Monday, October 15, 2007

PROACTIV Pays Off!!!

Congrats to the fabulous Vanessa Williams for signing a $20 million contract with Pro-Activ in which she will work along side the acne-be-gone empire to develop her own line of greasy and bumpy no more cosmetics. I love it!!! This just proves that we too can get rich off of our imperfections. So get out there bitches, make it do wut it do....go to Invisalign and tell them how after using their product to fix your overlap, extra gap, crowding, and saber teeth you are too fierce and this is why YOU should be the face/teeth of the company.

This All Joe Jackson Fault

Dammit Joe Jackson!! You done fucked your kids up!!! I mean just DAYUM! So tell me why 52 year old Jermaine Jackson is being sued by his ex-wife Alejandra for child support for his two kids with her, Jaffar and Jermajesty because she is broke and is living on $81 a month??!! Then Jermaine says:


Don't look at me. "I currently do not have any employment" and "I do not have any income from which to pay support," the third-oldest Jackson sibling states in a declaration included with the filing.

Then if that isn't enough, here is the kicker....this bitch Alejandra got two teenage kids (Genevieve, 17, and Randy Jr., 14) from when she was fuckin Randy!!!! Yes, the youngest brother Randy. Why is this bitch fuckin all the brothers (I mean let us just thank the lord she didn't fuck Tito!) and then how is Jermaine gonna marry this chick after she was just fuckin and pro-creatin with his little brother?!!! I mean if that isn't just nasty as all hell I don't know what it is. Them kids is siblings and cousins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder they all look like aliens....just DAYUM!!

This is just all around a Rythm Nation of a mess...

On a document included in the filing and obtained by extratv.com, Alejandra Jackson indicates that, since August, she has been making $15 per hour working as a personal assistant, she has no health insurance and she had to borrow $500 from her aunt to pay legal fees. She also lists her total assets from her partnership in a Colombian clothing design business as negative $198. Her income is listed at an average of $81 a month, with no overtime, commissions or bonuses, or investments to boost that figure in any way.

"Occasionally and not consistently Mrs. Jackson will give me a couple hundred dollars for food or other expenses I need," Alejandra stated in court documents, referring to mother-in-law Katherine Jackson, 78. She doesn't get any child support from Jermaine, she says.

A number of overdue bills and expenses are listed in the documents, as well as a wish list that includes health insurance for the kids and tutoring for Jermajesty.

Then Jermaine says:

"Thus I find myself in a Catch-22 situation where while I need money, I also need to be very cognizant of what employment I do undertake so as not to degrade my market value and ability to obtain legitimate work in the future. Unfortunately (and sadly), this troubling situation is very common in the entertainment industry."
Um are you kidding me Jermaine? Ya'll are living with your mother and you don't have a job and the mother of your kids only makes $81 a month and you are being picky? I mean yes, I know who you are but really, at this point isn't it about feeding your kids? Such a travesty.

And clearly Janet don't want nothing to do with her loser brother or that skank ass ho cuz we all know Janet got millions to spare......

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Fabulosity of the Day






Alicia Keys looking STUNNING in a new photo shoot and Toccarra makin it do wut it do at the BET 2007 Hip Hop Awards! Fabulous!


Diane and Robin Rock the Fugly Shoes

So a while ago I posted some ree-diculous looking shoes that Marc Jacobs debuted in his Spring 2008 collection...if you don't remember click here: Walk This Way Bitches! Anyway, a month later on Good Morning America, Diane, Robin, and some others were practicing walking around in the shoes which means that the shoe is probably going to end up being more than just art.....as in, bitches are really going to be walking on their toes. Diane was bouncing around in hers, and Robin had on a pair that looked like they should be worn by the gridiron gang. Anyway....should you see these in your shoe stores and choose to be the first of (probably) many, please send me a pic of you in these shoes and let me know what they feel like. In the meantime, watch the women of GMA walk this way, click: Fugly Shoes

Mario's Mother Needs Jeff VanVonderen

Mario, one of my fave grown/lil boy singers (Imagine I'm singing the hook while you read this: How will I breathe without you here by my side?...How will I see, when your love brought me to the light....Where will I go when your heart's where I lay my head....yes bitches, I will tear that song up!) is having an MTV special that airs on Saturday, October 20th @ 1:00pm EST and the main focus of the show is Mario's junkie mother. In the trailer he talks about his success and all the great things that have happened in his life but the one thing that follows him is his mother's drug addiction. And in one of the scenes the mother is yelling at him saying that her addiction is over when she says it is over and no doctor or no specialist is gonna tell her anything different. Dayum! I'm telling you, instead of doing MTV, they should have done A&E and went on Intervention and let Jeff VanVonderen get in her ass. She would be on the plane to Promises in not time, walking on the beach talking bout life is good and I love my son and now we can get on with our lives because life is good when you're sober. I love me some Mario and I had no idea this was going on his life...I will definitely be all up in this special. Check out the trailer below.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

ANTM: Boo - UPDATE!

OK so I've watched and ummmm, my feeling is pretty much the same...with a few exceptions. But first let me just say, I think the biggest problem here is that level of model potential in this bunch is just not as great as it has been in past seasons. Usually after the makeovers I feel like there are some serious upgrades and people who were once pretty or cute are now fabulous and fierce. This season, yeah the makeovers helped but the upgrades were very minimal. Something about this group is just not cuttin it. But watevs....let's discuss the show, shall we? Mkay, the removal of Ebony's rubber cemented glued on wig that she got for free was hard to watch. I mean really, wtfluckery? Who just glues shit on their face?! Like I really want to know why some black women could care two shits about the consequences of putting all types of shit in their hair...especially when the outcome of rubber cementing shit on your scalp and face doesn't even look that great. I mean really, Pelican, the wig didn't make you look any better AND it damn sure didn't help draw attention away from your beak. AND speaking of Ebony's beak, I am SO happy that Tyra and judges pointed out her weird lip action and the fact that she looks and acts like a lost bird. It was NOT an accident that they made her BIRDS OF PARADISE!!!

And onto the next...Bianca's hair damage was indeed atrocious. Like who does that? When your hair is already fucked up, who decides to just add a weave in the back and dye the top purple? How come no one says, you know what, let me find a stylist who can help make my hair healthy? Length is really not that serious. I mean, damn black society for forcing upon us that long hair = beauty....but I won't get into that today. I'm just going to reiterate that something is off with Bianca and the baldie is way better than that fugly ass wig they gave her (at panel she looked a mess and Miss Jay was correct in telling that wig to quiet down while he petted it) and her picture wasn't cute at all but I think a lot of that had to do with the two sun flower leaves they glued on the top of her head...yeah, just no.

So um, my girl Saliesha....damn. When you start the beginning of the episode saying I will never be in the bottom two...and then say wait a minute, are you listening? I don't think you understood the words that are coming out of my mouth. Yeah, boo, that means you are gonna be in the bottom two....I mean, ANTM is good for a foreshadow and dammit Liesha you ended up in the bottom two and you deserved it. Your picture was not good and the previous two were just aight. PLEASE step your game up. I've already come to the conclusion that it will take a miracle for you to win this thing, but I at least need you to make it further than a few of the girls that I know you are better than. I will say though that your hair is of the best of the make-overs and your confidence is fabulous, but you need to figure out to make it work. Carry on.

So the last thing I want to say is Lisa's hair is not cute and Tyra knows it and that is why she said something like, if you make it further we'll need to straighten out your cut. Jenah is fugly in person and that blonde hair makes her look like a street walker BUT she sure does take a damn good picture. Ambreal is just not doing it for me. I think they should have left her hair the way it was. Not that her hair makes a difference, but I think her afro kind of gave her more of an edge than the typical black girl short hair cut. And Chantal is an idiot.....yes it may be difficult to have two people telling you two different things but really, was it that hard? And why can't you just decided to listen to one or figure out away to do what they are both saying? And then the tears? Please. And I love Heather. If she wins this shit, she'll be proof to all Ass-bergers that you may not know how to focus and you may walk with a hunch back, but you too can be hot and be ANTM!











Mkay, so um I missed ANTM last night so obviously, I can't discuss it....but um, I did manage to see how the makeovers went and um....since when do makeovers not help? All I can say now just by looking at the makeovers is that Saleshia and Heather are definitely my top two. Now I didn't see the episode so this is just based on my previous personal opinion and the photos....I don't know how Ass-berger was actin in this episode or if Saleshia didn't make it do wut it do in a challenge or something (but I will update the post once I watch)....in any case, I did see that it looks like Bianca went thru two makeovers due to her hair damage. Yeah um....weave or a baldie, something is off. And Ebony really does look like a pelican but with a fucked up beak.