In case you didn't, there is a whole site dedicated to comparing each possible horse face Sarah Jessica Parker can make. It's rather interesting. Actually, its more than interesting...it's rather amazing that all this time /SJPCarrie was a horse in Jimmy Choos.
Need more proof? Look at many, many more pics at the official website called Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
You know you done good when a one-armed man is applauding you. I mean, damn, that's a lot of fuckin.
Right. So I guess 25 is the new 19?
Today is Latoya Jackson's 52nd birthday!! No wonder she's been seen out on the town! All she needs is Michael's gold clip for her lace front and she'll be ready to Par-tay!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Here is the trailer for the movie version of the book I never needed to read, "He's Just Not That Into You"....I will catch this biz on HBO. Seriously. This movie could be funny as hell and in 1 minute you can tell that it is so not. I mean, I'm kinda upset too because I was ready to have somebody take me to the movies to see this so they can totally understand what is going to happen to them after our 'date' is over, but it just doesn't look good at all. First of all...do females really do like that first girl does (you'll see her...she chases dude down after he gives her a business card)? And really, this looks like a slightly updated version of Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, 90210 and My So Called Life all rolled into one.
Guys. OK, I don't know if you've ever heard Cuba Gooding Sr. (yes, Cuba Jr.'s daddy) sing before, but now is your chance. This man sings the National Anthem unlike I've ever heard anyone sing the National Anthem before. I mean, dude is SANGIN! He starts with a "Test" and goes right into it....didn't need to tell anyone to turn his levels up or anything. Don't tell him he is not singin...
Did you hear that "WHAT so proudly we hail??????" And did you hear the pick up on the "Whose broad stripes and bright stars"???!!! I'm still laughing. I can't!
But here is really why this is even funnier. Maya Rudolph sang the National Anthem on Saturday Night Live....and it is sounds something like Cuba Sr. Please (NO YOU MUST) click: Weresogallantlystreaming to view this video!!!
(Elle, Aaronella, and Bella.....O.M.G.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
THANK YOU CA!!!!!
Holy Shit! Foxnews analyst Liz Trotta straight up said that Obama should be killed. She says, “Now we have what some are reading as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama, uh Obama. Well, both, if we could.” Are you kidding me?????!!!! And then the bitch kept on talking like she didn't just wish death to the future president of this country. WOW! I mean, DAAAAAYUM.
Only Mimi would wear what she's wearing (seriously, gag me with a fuckin spoon) and attempt to pitch a baseball with her left hand in her pocket positioned just so....so her wedding ring stays visible. And seriously, look at the release on that ball? That ball went no where real quick and to the left. The Japanese (or anybody for that matter) clearly don't think Nick important enough to be the one to pitch the damn ball. Just why?! AHAHAHAHA!
Welcome the first grandchild of Dr. Martin Luther and Coretta Scott King....Baby Yolanda Renee King!!!
I usually don't like posting pics just for the hell of posting pics cuz I don't care who wore what -- unless it was fug or extra hot and I have something to say. Buuuuuut, this is SATC and well, I just wanted to know who invited Latoya Jackson to the festivities? Can you find her?
Usher goes on a serious rant on TRL....he in love ya'll. HAAAAAAAAAAA....go head Jelly Belly. You got that. Whatever you puttin in his eggs, its workin boo. The craziness starts at about 2:35. Funny....this reminds me of a Mariah meltdown on TRL....minus the ice cream cart.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
All you skanks out there thinkin you were goin to be the next Deelishis or Buckeey (seems Buckeey was makin sex tapes slobbin knobs prior to slobin Flavs) or Thing 1 & 2, forget about it. You must find another reality attrocity or simply continue working at your local tittie bar to find success as a nasty ass ho who will actually let someone as decrepit and fugly as Flava damn Flav to touch, kiss and whoever knows what else you. WHY you ask? Well because Flav done went an proposed to his most recent baby mother...and she accepted, of course. Both vowing to be a great wife and husband.
I made it back and I can actually function. During my long holiday weekend, I managed to ride or die, despite having spiders crawling in my back and imaginary rubber bands cutting off the circulation in my right arm. I managed to eat like food was going out of style, I managed to offend some bible thumpers (GOD loves me and my bra UHOPs!), and I managed to have the best time ever with my bitches. I thought I was going to need to sleep it out....actually, I would really like to be sleeping right now but um, I forgot that I didn't adjust my schedule to accommodate extra sleeping and no working. So here I am. But really, I'm back on time just for you, AlooFar.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Hey Bitches...I just got 5 minutes to zugsh up what's been going on today, and it seems while I'm struggling due to severe back pain (thanks for the Oxy JCapri...no for real, THANKS!) but can't even sit and deal with my pain and enjoy my Oxy cuz I have to get my shit together for my holiday weekend extravaganza in DC, Lindsay Lohan finally shows her lezbo love in public, Diddy kicked Naomi's ass off his yacht on her birthday, Four witnesses have identified R. Kelly as the molester but both he and the girl claim its not them, and Elle done got herself an intern...Miss Natasia, I hope you're ready. Oh and Elle...I'm still trying to find out where the hell John Legend was last night....but clearly, he was there.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Just in time for Ursher to file for separation from Jelly Belly, he has released his second single from his new album which is droppin in just 5 days. Say what, now? Oh yes, well according to Natasha, Usher filed for separation three weeks and is just trying to figure out if there should be an announcement or if we should all just be happy with the "leak". Ain't this about bitch? I don't have no words. I still don't believe that she was pregnant and I don't believe that they are married for real anyway. R. Kelly got more of a shot pretending that that mole isn't his then these two trying to somehow show that their bullshit sham of a marriage was real. I just want to know, what happened to the days of marrying HOT bitches for real or for fake? And if it is for fake, since when is it ok to marry and fake procreate with fugly stankin asses? UGH!
Anyhoo...for those of you who actually care about the music, check out Ursher's new winter wonderland video....
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Normally, when you're preggers, you get to sit and do nothing -- EXCEPT GROW A HUMAN -- and eat Cheetos wit Pistachio ice cream and pickles. Unfortch, when you're the pregnant man, you still have shit to do like weed wack and mow the lawn. And I give the transman's wife a high five on that one....just cuz you pregnant don't mean you get to avoid your sponsibilities. You want to be the man, well bitch, enjoy! Thanks BestWeekEver!
So oddly enough, I'm just having a conversation with a certain fellow stankin ass (yes, you bitch) regarding the ridiculousness that is Mariah's marriage but at least she put her shit on blast unlike some others we know, Yonce confirms her marriage (sort of). Yonce told Britain's Look Magazine, “I don’t deny it (the wedding). I just don’t talk about it. We’ve never talked about us and it’s kind of protected our relationship. I think it’s kept us out of tabloid drama. A lot of actresses that have had successful relationships don’t talk about them, so neither do I.”
And I say that's the way to go. Bey and Jay have been together for over 6 years and part of the appeal of their relationship is that you don't know shit except for what they decide to throw in a song er' now and then. When you do see them out and about, you may see her rockin a Roc-a-Fella chain and she might even throw up the sign....and yes, we did see them on the yacht but that's it. That's enough. Of course we would love to see them bust out in a fit of PDA -- if for no other reason just to see if Jay really doesn't swallow her head with his big ass camel lips -- but we know they get their loving on and we know its real. Not to mention, nobody had an album coming out during the wedding.
On the other hand, you got this Hello Kitty band aid wearing meeting some little boy on a video shoot and then marries said little boy and then sells the wedding pics to PEOPLE. For what?! It's not like Mariah needs to the money. Maybe the money was for Nick (I'm thinking Nick is the master mind behind this whole thing anyway -- he's been pressed to get married for a minute). Point is, it just adds to the extra over topness of it. Wouldn't you have purchased Mariah's album without a wedding?! Well....with songs like "This is for my people who lost somebody....." I guess the gimmicks had to take precedence. Anyway, the boy then goes and gets his whole back tatted with her name while she gets a tiny little butterfly that she can easily cover up should shit go wrong. That's his bad, not hers, but the point is, who are you doing all this for? For us? If you love somebody who gives a shit who sees it?
But for all we know, Mariah and Nick might last forever. Or at least until her Hello Kitty stupid ass band aids run out.
I just wanted to go on record as TEAM Jay & Bey. I can appreciate true love from a distance.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Simon takes a minute to explain to Ellen why his face looked like it look while Tasia was singing. I mean, personally, there is no need to explain the face....If you saw the performance. However, I love Simon and I love his attempt at an explanation. He's so funny.
I'm kind of loving J. Hud's new single "Spotlight"....but I had to really listen to it. The beginning sounds like a song I already know (a song from the 70's)....Ne-Yo was in a put your roller skates on mood when he wrote and produced this one. It clearly isn't a song that has her belting out notes like she's telling us she's not going...it is a radio friendly song and I think it will do well in the clubs too. The single hits radio on June 9th. I'm ready for the album already and if this is any indication of what we can look forward to, then I'm pumped!!
What do you think? Listen to Spotlight!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Seriously, What.Da.Fuck?! Keisha Whitaker why you let True out the house like this???!!! How did you think it was OK for her to literally be wearing purple gift wrap on top of animal print that doesn't match anything?! She seems old enough to be able to decide what she wants to wear....HENCE WHY YOU HAVE A MOM! And if the Mom clearly is more concerned about how she looks, where is the stylist?! It's all about the kids Keshia. Please, keep this in mind for future events.