Flavor Flav Might Be The Reason I Really Quit This Bitch

You know, everyday I hope to find something worth bloggin about. I get messages from some of you asking just where da fuck am I and why I'm not posting as much as I used to. There are many answers to that question but the real and most important reason is....this world makes me need a cocktail of Pepto, Alka, and a splash of brown juice. I know I say I can't, regularly, but seriously people...I can't. I thought watching Mariah be a drunken 15 year old was enough for me. She accepted two awards more than a lil tipsy and/or after poppin special PEZ - one for her role in Precious (which she doesn't deserve...anybody could have wore a lil mustache, frumpy clothes, had a make-up less face, and sat there and looked at Precious' files) and last night she won the People's Choice award for favorite R&B singer (Ummmmm, how in da fuck did she beat Beyonce? Her last song was a tribute to Eminem being mad at her.).... I even thought having to hear about how Tila fuckin Tequila, whose name I shouldn't even know, is spending her days getting press off of the death of her "fiancee" Casey Johnson on Twitter was enough for me. But no, I come across this new video by Flavor Flav singing a R&B song and my Audrina eyes and slack jaw just became too much for me. Really Flav? REALLY? I don't understand. When did delusional become the thing to be? I want to laugh - mkay, I did giggle at first but then I just couldn't. It.is.too.hard. My brain is suffering from the pointless and no longer entertaining crap that is shared over and over again all day. And then of course, just when I say I'm done, I catch an episode of Bad Girls and watch in amazement how Natalie shows how fugtasticals just need to be confident and they too can run L.A. and be friends with no names like the little brother on Moesha and have sex with a Boston Celtic who can't even close his mouth cuz his teef are too big. I also watch Jersey Shore and have to stop myself from fist pumping, letting my rolls hang over my short shorts, and hittin up the tanning salon - SIKE. I just watch to see if Snooki will get decked again. And because of this, I know that I'm in a vicious cycle of being addicted to the very thing that I hate - senseless bullshit. So I guess I can't ever really quit but you guys can thank Flavor Flav for my continued hibernation. Miss u, luv u, mean it.

Is This A SNL Skit?

Just For Giggles...

I'm late, I know this. I know you've seen this pic already. A bitch done dislocated my shoulder. Don't ask. But I'm alive and can type the following: I think even Hello Kitty is over Mariah's fat ass. Since when is tryin to be sexy on the beach chunk-ariously hee-larious? Hopefully I'll be back to my normal post when I feel like posting in the next few days. Oh and So You Think You Can Dance.....these guys are too talented for the bullshit. I was only happy with a few routines. I was mad two Black people went home in one night, but I was not mad that the two that went home had to go. Bianca danced for her life and well, she looked like me wit my broke shoulder. Tappin doesn't mean hunch back boo!

Yeah Um...I Just Had To Say Something

I chose not to discuss Mariah Carey's silly new "Obsessed" song for oh so many reasons, but the most important being that the song is wack as hell, she's talkin bout a dude she was fuckin years ago and she's married now, AND in the video she's still wearin hair clips like she's 10 years old. Like, how many times can I tell Mariah to grow da fuck up? So I didn't. But of course, of all people to sing about, she chose to sing about Eminem. Did she really think he wasn't gonna have a response?! And who really is obsessed here? Shouldn't Mariah be singin bout rainbows and unicorns and how great it is to be in love and stuff? How do you marry a little boy and are supposedly so happy with, and then sing songs about a rapper who prolly really isn't obsessed with you? So confusing. Yet, and as expected, Eminem comes back at her. I'm sure you all have heard both songs. If not, I'm not even madachu. Click: Womp Womp and Mariah no likey when he busts on her stomach. Anyway, I'm writing this post cuz of Nick Cannon. The lil boy Mariah is married to. He chose to go on Twatter and decide to get his 'grown' man on and NOT come back at Em. He says... "Quote of the day, ‘Never argue with fools because from a distance people can’t tell who is who. Never take your own revenge, but rather give place unto the wrath. For it is written vengeance is mine, I will repay… PREACH! ‘I will bless those that bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.’ Genesis 12:3.” Be patient in the moment of anger and escape a hundred days of sorrow! People who project negativity ultimately are crying out for their own broken souls. Trying to save a hater is like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino!" Now my problem here is not that Nick is choosing NOT to respond to "beef" and takin the high road and writin down what Rev. Run said in the tub da otha day. That's great. My problem is WHY COME NICK DIDN'T TELL HIS WIFE NOT TO BE STARTIN SHIT WRITING SONGS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO PROLLY HASN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HER HELLO KITTY ASS IN YEARS????!!! And even if he has, isn't she like 40 years old, married, and grown and all that good stuff? Shouldn't she not be projecting negativity? And then she doesn't even own it, talkin bout the song is not about him. Well who da fuck else is about???? She took the time to DRESS UP like his ass in the video!!!! From a distance Nick and up close, your wife is more than a fool. And if nothing else, if nothing else, if she was gonna start this fuckery, why come the track couldn't at least be a hot one? That's all.

Right Quick....

SADNESS: The fabulousness that is Eartha Kitt has left us. Eartha died on Christmas Day. She was one of the sexiest to ever do it. She'll be missed. BEAUTIFUL LOVE: Eva 'The Diva' Marcille and her fine ass boo Lance Gross are engaged!!! The gorgeousness that are these two is just too much for me. I love it, I love them, and I need too see offspring stat. Congrats! Da Fuckery: These two jackasses gross me out. UGH. Here's hopin you got er'thing you wanted for Xmas! Carry on witchur holiday fun...

Mariah's Wackest Video Of All Time

Directed by her husband Douche Cannon. Enjoy!

It's Startin Already...

First of all, I'm hatin on any lucky mofo that is off today. Columbus didn't discover shit but yet, ya'll chillin. Yeah, I'm definitely hatin. Next, when you vote in November PUHLEASE be sure to check your ballot and make sure the name of the person you are votin for is on the damn ballot and is spelled correctly. Yeah, you see that. The name on the ballot is Barack OSAMA. I hate people. "Three hundred absentee ballots in Rensselaer County, New York included Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama with his name spelled “Osama”. County Democratic Chairman Tom Wade said, “Of all the letters to hit by mistake, unfortunately it is a mistake which negatively impacts our Democratic candidate for president.” Elections officials on both sides insist it was nothing more than a simple typographical error. Republican Commissioner Larry Bugbee added, “We have three different staff members who proof these things and somehow the typo got by us. We really apologize.” Officials issued new ballots to all 300 voters since any corrections on a ballot nullifies a vote. The Obama campaign announced it was “glad officials are working to correct this error and we assume it won’t happen again”. See they thought because they were absentee ballots nobody would say shit or nobody would catch it. Oh the fuckery! And then if that weren't enough...why is Mariah wearin a bedazzled butterfly and why must Nick Cannon look like such a Douche?! YES I'm hatin!!! This is so not a happy Monday. Ugh.... Source

Fashion Rocks!

So we'll get to see all the fun on Tuesday September 9th BUT the taping for the Fashion Rocks event was last night and of course there are pics. Yonce took the time to promote herself as well as honor Etta James, whom she will be portraying in the upcoming Cadillac Records movie, and I must say...she has Etta down. Stunning. And she sings "At Last" which is one of the most beautiful love songs ever, ever, ever written and even more beautifully sang by Etta. I'm sure Yonce sings the shit out of this song. Looking forward to seeing this. Of course Yonce couldn't just perform once and then sit her ass down. Nope, she had to sing one more gin. This time with Justin. And um....I just want to know what kind of Tina Knowles golden glitter fish gill creation she got goin on? The Lil Mermaid Does Studio 54. Anyhooo.... Rih Rih keeps it sexy as per alwasy. Who even gives a shit what she's singin or if she's even singing. She's just hot. The sexiest show girl rockin a peacock head piece I've ever seen. Solo got to sing too! And it looks like Tina Knowles decided to make this dress out of the cartoon section of the Sunday paper. I like the design of the dress tho...and I'm sure she sounds great too. Chris Brown is jumpin, slidin, and workin it out. I'd be doin all that if I were fuckin Rihanna too. Mary and Kid Rock perform. Hmmmmmm. Mary looks dope. Her boots are sick. Yet, I'm confused. Does Kid Rock sing? I thought he just screams and looks greasy. And Mimi. She looks like a grown woman. And she looks fabulous. I can't remember the last time I've seen Mariah look so classy and pretty. Loves it. Photo Source

All For A Good Cause!

For some reason, I only hear Yonce all over this song...I'm kidding! I do hear Melissa Ethridge a lil bit too. No seriously, some of the best female artists - Mariah aka Hello Kitty, Beyonce, Rih Rih, Mary, Keyshia Cole, Melissa Etheridge etc. - got together to record a song called, "Just Stand Up" to support Up To Cancer (SU2C), a new initiative to raise philanthropic dollars for accelerating ground-breaking cancer research. And lucky for us, we get to see all Divas perform the song live on Friday, Septemeber 5th when ABC, CBS, and NBC simultaneously devote one hour of commercial-free prime-time to this nationwide event. This will be the first simultaneous cross-network broadcast ever to raise funds for the fight against a disease. To listen to the song click: Can somebody else get on the mic Yonce? Dayum! And the Kodjoes are speaking out about their daughter and her battle with Spina Bifida. Nicole and Boris wrote us a letter: Dear Friends, We hope you are well. We are writing this letter to share with you a most personal issue and ask for your help. As some of you already heard, our little Sophie was diagnosed at birth with Spina Bifida, the most common birth defect in the US, affecting the brain and/or spine in an average of eight babies a day. Degrees of severity vary from quadriplegic children with major brain damage and spinal injuries to cases of neurogenic bladders or even lesser issues. We were blessed with a miracle child and spared of the more severe symptoms, but Sophie’s spastic bladder still forces us to catheterize her every three hours, day and night, to avoid pressure build up in her bladder and urine backflow into her kidneys. But frequent catheterization causes urinary tract infections, which are then battled with strong antibiotics, which in turn attack stomach flora and cellular balance, cause bowel issues, and that leads to more infections. It’s a never ending cycle and the prognosis from specialists all over the world is a life long dependency on catheterization and diapers, unless we’d agree to a bladder augmentation, which is quite risky and not a way we want her to live. While being a simple body function for able-bodied individuals, these activities may take hours for children with Spina Bifida. So after educating ourselves, studying hundreds of domestic and international cases, and researching alternative and traditional methods, our friend Jim Okula at the Spina Bifida Association of GA called us because he came across Dr Xiao from China. Xiao is the first and only person in the world who has developed a procedure of surgically rerouting nerves from the legs to the bladder, providing a new pathway for autonomic stimulation of the bladder, therefore teaching the bladder to empty itself over time. Dr Xiao has performed this procedure for the past 3 years in China and recently at Beaumont Hospital in Michigan with astonishing results, and now Physicians from Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, Emory University School of Medicine and Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University, along with the Spina Bifida Association of GA want to bring him to Atlanta to supervise a surgical study including ten children. This has been Nicole’s and my priority, and now this procedure can change a lot of families’ lives. But the first phase of this surgical study is not funded, and therefore we are in this alone. Based on a successful outcome of phase one, phase two and the surgical study of 100 more children would receive federal funding. So right now we have to raise $1.88 million to pay for the surgical study involving 10 children. We have included some more information on Spina Bifida and the Xiao Procedure. Please don’t hesitate to write with any questions you guys might have. As you probably noticed, there’s a big blue ‘DONATE NOW’ button on the welcome page of this site. Please, please, please give as much as you possibly can to help make this a reality for thousands of families and their children affected by Spina Bifida. We thank you and we love you. Boris and Nicole To learn more about Spina Bifida click HERE. Source/Source

A Lil Forever 21 In The Mornin.....

Sigh........ Source

Just For Giggles...

All you can do is laugh at them. Stop Hating Nick? Well, is the charade over? You two are such frauds. Even Mickey is thinkin are these dumb asses serious? Just why? Source

MiMi and Usher Spend Time Justifying Their Love

As I'm sure you've all seen by now, Ursher and Cinco (his son) cover this month's Essence Magazine. Baby Cinco is a cutie -- for now. Usher looks nice and fatherly but this cover looks really fake. Even more fake is Usher's need to continue to convince himself and everyone else that he loves Jelly Belly. I mean, how many times can we hear the same bullshit? And do we care anymore? When asked about his marriage to Tameka, Usher responds, “They think that it was forced. I’ve heard a lot of comments like, “Oh, she trapped him.” “He got a baby by her, and then she’s married and she’s set for life. No. She wasn’t pregnant when I asked her to marry me. There’s some sort of huge conspiracy over this, the fact that I made these choices in my life. No I grew older. As a man, I have to take responsibility and take a hold of my life. I’m accountable for what happens to my life now.” Blah blah blah. Whatever. *Audrina Eyes* Mariah looks fabulous in this month's Elle. Unfortunately, she also gives an interview and has to ruin it by talking and justifying her "Cinderella" bootleg fake ass marriage. Mariah Carey on her past life: “When I was in an unhappy place in my life, I always wanted to be kidnapped. I just wanted a way out, but didn’t have one. He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride. Then he re-proposed. They’ve been calling me Cinderella since I first started out, so, of course, being Cinderella… Most people would think, Okay, please! This doesn’t happen in real life.” Who is calling you Cinderella? The dumb bitches you pay to call you Cinderella? Right. Mariah Carey on her marriage with 27-year-old actor-rapper Nick Cannon: “We really kept the whole relationship aspect of it quiet. Therefore, we didn’t really ‘date,’ you know what I mean? Because that would have been not quiet or private. I think we didn’t want to give people a chance to be like, ‘What are you doing? What are you talking about? This is so quick… are you sure?” So you marry someone you don't even know and didn't date because you were worried that things wouldn't be private yet you exploit your corny fake ass marriage every chance you get. Boo and boo. Blech. *Audrina Eyes* Source/Source

New Muziq: Mariah 'Lovin U Long Time'

Mimi's new video is out and the best thing about it is that Nick isn't it. Well that and I like more than a couple of her bathing suits. The song is her best song of all her sinlges thus far but it is just aiight. She looks great, definitely but there isn't anything great about the video. And ummmm, I could have sworn Yonce already did the sexy submerged but not really in water thing in Upgrade U. Has Mariah done one video too many? Is she running out of concepts? Take a look for yourself. Whaddaya think? Do you love it or do you think there was no need for Mariah to square her emancipation and prolly should put her ass in a seat somewhere?

Leona Lewis is NOT MC Squared!

Leona Lewis is on the cover of Blender Magazine and for the millionth time addressing the Mariah comparisons....kinda sorta....she doesn't really name no names or anything like that but....she says: "“I don’t wear little mini skirts and low-cut tops. If you want to show your bits off, it’s up to you." And we all know who da hell she's talkin bout. I mean on the damn cover it says "Look Out Mariah Leona Lewis is Pop's Next Megastar" Now I for one, don't understand the comparison other than.... Yeah, they straight up jacked Mariah's whole shizz...and OLD shizz at that. However, as talented and gifted as Leona is....she isn't nobody's Mariah. Mimi can out sing her ass anyday and they both know it. The point is, why do people always have to make comparisons? Why can't Leona just stay in her lane and do her? I mean, when I'm singing (at the top of my lungs) that I keep bleeding love cuz I done been cut open, I'm not thinkin this sounds like Mariah. I'm thinkin Leona done sang da hell out this song and I'm glad I let it grow on me. Source/Source

A Lil Mornin Leading Wit Da Left.....

Just Cuz.

Just For Giggles...

Only Mimi would wear what she's wearing (seriously, gag me with a fuckin spoon) and attempt to pitch a baseball with her left hand in her pocket positioned just so....so her wedding ring stays visible. And seriously, look at the release on that ball? That ball went no where real quick and to the left. The Japanese (or anybody for that matter) clearly don't think Nick important enough to be the one to pitch the damn ball. Just why?! AHAHAHAHA! Source

And I'm Back....

I made it back and I can actually function. During my long holiday weekend, I managed to ride or die, despite having spiders crawling in my back and imaginary rubber bands cutting off the circulation in my right arm. I managed to eat like food was going out of style, I managed to offend some bible thumpers (GOD loves me and my bra UHOPs!), and I managed to have the best time ever with my bitches. I thought I was going to need to sleep it out....actually, I would really like to be sleeping right now but um, I forgot that I didn't adjust my schedule to accommodate extra sleeping and no working. So here I am. But really, I'm back on time just for you, AlooFar. Anyway, I return and it doesn't seem I missed too much. I saw Usher on Good Morning America today...I'll address that in my next post. More importantly, I came across pics of the newlyweds. And how cute are Bey and Jay dancing? How not cute are Nick and Mariah...who manages to lead with her left? I'm guessing you are more inclined to lead with your left when you pay for your own shit OR make a man use almost all of his savings to pay for a ring that is almost the exact replica of the ring he already bought for the bitch he proposed to not but two months ago.

TEAM Jay & Yonce OR TEAM Mimi & Nick?

So oddly enough, I'm just having a conversation with a certain fellow stankin ass (yes, you bitch) regarding the ridiculousness that is Mariah's marriage but at least she put her shit on blast unlike some others we know, Yonce confirms her marriage (sort of). Yonce told Britain's Look Magazine, “I don’t deny it (the wedding). I just don’t talk about it. We’ve never talked about us and it’s kind of protected our relationship. I think it’s kept us out of tabloid drama. A lot of actresses that have had successful relationships don’t talk about them, so neither do I.” And I say that's the way to go. Bey and Jay have been together for over 6 years and part of the appeal of their relationship is that you don't know shit except for what they decide to throw in a song er' now and then. When you do see them out and about, you may see her rockin a Roc-a-Fella chain and she might even throw up the sign....and yes, we did see them on the yacht but that's it. That's enough. Of course we would love to see them bust out in a fit of PDA -- if for no other reason just to see if Jay really doesn't swallow her head with his big ass camel lips -- but we know they get their loving on and we know its real. Not to mention, nobody had an album coming out during the wedding. On the other hand, you got this Hello Kitty band aid wearing meeting some little boy on a video shoot and then marries said little boy and then sells the wedding pics to PEOPLE. For what?! It's not like Mariah needs to the money. Maybe the money was for Nick (I'm thinking Nick is the master mind behind this whole thing anyway -- he's been pressed to get married for a minute). Point is, it just adds to the extra over topness of it. Wouldn't you have purchased Mariah's album without a wedding?! Well....with songs like "This is for my people who lost somebody....." I guess the gimmicks had to take precedence. Anyway, the boy then goes and gets his whole back tatted with her name while she gets a tiny little butterfly that she can easily cover up should shit go wrong. That's his bad, not hers, but the point is, who are you doing all this for? For us? If you love somebody who gives a shit who sees it? But for all we know, Mariah and Nick might last forever. Or at least until her Hello Kitty stupid ass band aids run out. I just wanted to go on record as TEAM Jay & Bey. I can appreciate true love from a distance.

Honeymoon At Magic Mountain!

I'm sorry. I had to.