Do I Need To Start Watchin Jimmy Kimmel?

So I guess Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Melissa Joan Hart) got eliminated from Dancing With the Stars or something (I don't watch so I really don't know) and was on the Jimmy Kimmel show to talk about it. And for whatever reason, Jimmy got real stank with Melissa. Feelings.Were.Hurt. And I of course, giggled. Ya'll know Sabrina cried all the way home. Where is Salem when you need him? You know who da hell Salem is. Don't dare try to act like you ain't watch that show.

Um, There's A Car On The Bed

So you know how you go to sleep at night and you are having that good sleep, dreamin about being Oprah's dog sitter, lettin her hair stylist do your hair, and eating caramel and chocolate pudding all day? Well this couple, two University of Nevada students, were having that good sleep only to be awakened by a car that crashed through their house and landed on top of them in their bed. Literally, the car crashed through their house and landed on top of them. Da wuh???? Seems this drunkard dumb ass thought the house was his ex-girlfriends house that she shares with her new boyfriend. The goal was to land on their bed. His bad. The best part of this story is that, while the two were pinned to the bed with the weight of THE CAR on top of them, they not only survived but managed to not have any serious injury. Amazing. Source

I Just Vomited In My Mouth

I wasn't planning on discussin the bullshit that is Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding. If people want to get married after a knowing each other for only a month, then great for them. What pisses me off and I what I find offensive is the fact that they are basically proving to the world that the sanctity of marriage is a joke in this country, and people care more about the the tabloid pics than the fact that this wedding wasn't even real. They aren't even officially married. They just had a 'ceremony' so that they could premiere it and get those ratings in for the new season of Khloe's show. But what really is either sad or reediculously funny is this OK! Mag cover. How is it KHLOE & LAMAR's wedding YET the pregnant sister, Kim and Khloe are the total focus of the picture and Lamar's big ass is just barely in the background. They are all Tardy for the fuckin Party. But hey, if people were willin to pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to be a douche, I'd be tardy for the party too. Congrats. SMDH.

Sigh....Only Cuz I'm A Good Person

Dear Jessica Simpson, I'm sorry that a wild Coyote snatched your dog Daisy and ran away with her. Something tells me that that wild Coyote is pickin bits and pieces of Daisy out his teefus right about now.....Buuuut since you seem to think the Coyote just took Daisy so they could you know, play tag and chase butterflies, I will help with your cause. HAVE YOU SEEN DAISY? If so, please let Jessica know. She may be in a Coyote's belly, possibly partially chewed, so please be very, very, very careful when you make your rescue, mkay? Spread the word!

Crack Is Wack....But Coochie Is Literally Mind Blowing!

I stared at this picture for quite some time. It seems this is what Lindsay Lohan chose to wear and look like for her birthday celebration. Wow. We all knew she was a crack head, but that Samantha (her girlfriend/ex-girlfriend) must have a mean coochie game cuz since she dumped Lindsay (then took her back) LaLohan has been more than a hot mess. She really doesn't even care anymore. It's like her mind has literally been blown and she can no longer function. Tragic.

Go GLAAD!!!!

I didn't plan on sayin anything about this Perez Hilton vs. Black Eye Peas bull shizz. Perez is obviously a drama queen and one of the Twats who Tweet. After supposedly catchin a beat down by Will.I.Am of the Peas, he goes on Twitter. I won't even go there....but ya'll know that if he was really as fucked up as he says he was "I thought my eye was gonna pop out and I was bleeding!" then the last thing he would have thought about was Twatting on Twitter. But those of us who feed on public validation - even in the "worst" of times - do such shizz. It's the era we live in. Why can't I get used to it? The point of this post is that the reason Perez caught a left hook was because he called Will a faggot. On his blog video he says: "I don't need to respect you, and you're a fag. You're gay, and stop being such a faggot." Ummmmmm, altho violence is never the answer (scuse me as try to be politically correct...or something), you call somebody a faggot and disrespect people expect to get your ass kicked Bitch. So GLAAD (The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) released this statement: "These are vulgar anti-gay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community," Rashad Robinson, senior director of Media Programs at GLAAD, said in a statement issued to E! "For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes." I am really happy about this because seriously, if Will had been the one to call Perez a faggot the whole world would take to the streets burning Black Eye Peas cds, protesting, and figuring out a way to put him jail for slander. Ok maybe not the whole world, but you know it would be waaaaay out of control and ridiculous. Good work out you GLAAD!

When Al Roker Tells You To Put That Where....

Normally I would NEVER post anything on this blog that has anything to do with that fugly monkey douche Spencer Pratt and his idiot bimbo bitch wife Heidi. However, they were on the Today show and Al Roker was basically tryin to find out why are they alive. Good work out of you, Al. Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Yous A Dirty Bird...

Lindsay Lohan! It seems an alarm was tripped at Lindsay's house and of course, the alarm company had the police roll up ready to arrest some crooks. When they got there, they thought the burglars had ransacked that bitch and stole shizz. Turns out, Linds is just a dirty ass who prolly doesn't wash her fire crotch either....but I bet Sam Ro loved her fish and nice and fiery. I digress.... I think it is pretty hilarious that Los Angeles police Officer Karen Rayner asked "Is it normally like this, or did the intruders do it?" HAHAHAHA!! I mean, she ain't had a job in a long time. She prolly can't afford to keep a housekeeper anymore and when you've been acting since you were like 5 years old and been the breadwinner for your whole family, I bet nobody ever even taught her simple shit like how to make a bed, wash clothes, or use soap. Such a shame. Source

Is It Just Me Or...

Does Kelly Ripa's belly button look like it is growin a baby peen?

Over Steppin Her Boundaries

Ok so you guys all know super model of the world Gisele Bündchen who recently married her boo New England Patriots QB Tom Brady, who is the baby daddy of Bridget Moynahan's son? If not, Google it. Anyhoo, Bridge was with child while Tom and Gisele started dating and I believe that is why Bridge chose not to give their son Tom's last name (baby's name is John Edward Thomas Moynahan...and I kind of love that). So there is/was drama but they've managed to keep things as classy as possible and under wraps. Well just the other day quotes from Gisele's Vanity Fair interview started coming out and in regards to being a step-mother, she basically told Bridget that she doesn't give a shit if she birthed Tom's child, that baby is 100% hers. And I quote: "I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that. But to me, it's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child – I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that's important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he's my son, from the first day. He's a little angel – the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life." When I read that I was thinking, it is wonderful that she loves Tom's baby as her own. The baby has three parents, and maybe if Bridge falls in love again, he'll have four and that is fantastic. BUT I couldn't help but feel like Gisele should keep her friggin mouth shut when it comes to Bridget and Tom's child...ESPECIALLY when it comes to talking about how she know he got a mom and she hopes he has a good relationship with his her but she feels like he's her son, from the first day. BITCH, is it not bad enough that Bridget had to deal with Tom breaking up with her, then fuckin your hot fuckin ass, and then you get to marry him which she thought she was gonna do after giving him years of her life and now you got to go and talk about how HER son is yours?! I mean DAAYUM Gisele, like where is the empathy? Just think about if the roles were reversed. Seriously. I was kind of hoping that Bridget would somehow respond...but I can appreciate that she's keeping her head held high and not stooping to stank bitch levels... Good thing her friends are!!! Her friends are not happy about Gisele's comment and one said: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever. Don't you think Jack will grow up and read her comments and find them disrespectful to him and his mother? If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he'd respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion. Is she is so desperate for attention that she can't find anything more productive to talk about other than Bridget's child?" And I concur. Thanks Bridget's friend. Well said. Source/Source

Razzi Rage Over Paris Fuckin Hilton. I Can't.

Er'Thing Ain't For Er'Body

And that includes going braless! Maybe a lil less injection in the lips and a lil more in the tits, eh Meg? (Badumbump! Thank you, Thank you! I'm here all nite people!) Source

6 Babies Later....

Jennifer Aniston does Vogue and finally talks about Angelina. First let me just say it would help if her Vogue cover wasn't so boring and if she looked slightly less fug. But she is fugish, so what can ya do. Anyhoo, she says: "There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool." Well here is the thing Jenny. Brad was making work fun for her. They were having fun making their hot action movie and they were fuckin...like how is that not fun? I'm not saying it's right, I'm just sayin she wasn't lyin. They asked, she told. Inappropriate, hell yeah. I wish you would have said something back then BUT I think it was better that you took the high road and moved on in your own way and not giving the masses the satisfaction of watching you crack. So Rachel, why are you talking about this now? You are always gonna be the bitch that got left for the younger and hotter Angelina Jolie. Like you had no chance, honey. It wasn't a fair fight. Plus, if you were really makin it do wut it do, Brad would have loved you enough to stay and used Jolie as a jumpoff. He actually loves her and the tribe they've created. It sucks, and you have er'right to be beyond bitter and upset, even all these years later, AND I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to have their gorgeous babies and their fabulous life thrown in your face er'other day BUT still....move on girl. Lastly, and more importantly it's VOGUE. Why don't you look better? Oh Jenny. Source

Good News....If You Can Call It That

So last night I heard all about Travis Barker and DJ AM being in a plane crash, with four people dying, and both Travis and AM fighting for their lives after being severely burned. I was really hoping it wasn't true and it was some random story like Paris Hilton's dogs being eaten by coyotes. However, it was true and I was sad. I don't know too much about DJ AM except that he used to date Nicole Richie and Mandy Moore and he used to be obese but got gastric and has kept the weight off for years. I do know I love me some Travis Barker. He's hot to def on those drums, he's a cutie, and his babies Landon and Alabama are adorable and can't be without their daddy. So while it is horrible that four people - the pilot, co-pilot, a bodyguard and Travis' assistant (who was trying to make it to the birth of his baby) perished in the crash, Travis and AM are going to make a full recovery. It clearly wasn't their time to go. During a press conference, Dr. Fred Mullins of the Joseph M. Still Burn Center at Doctors' Hospital in Augusta said, "Barker was burned on his torso and lower body, while DJ AM, was burned on his arms and a portion of his head. The doctor described both as remaining in critical but stable condition and in the intensive-care unit of the hospital. Since both Barker and Goldstein are in overall good health and didn't suffer from any other crash-related complications, a full recovery is expected." So they are alive, they are going to recover, and sometimes joy really does come in the mornin. However you can get it, you take it. Source

So What?

Pink, one of my favorite white girl rockers, has a new song and video called "So What" and well, me likey. She is basically talkin bout not givin a shit that her marriage is over and she's better off without him....and funny enough, her ex-husband Corey Hart is actually in the video. Made me love it even more. She goes through all the things you feel like doin when you're hurt and you want to fuck up er'body else who has the nerve to be happy when really you're so sad you feel like settin your hair on fire - she does this. Pink is crazy and I like her a whole lot. And if this video teaches you nothing, it should teach you to have an ice box and you won't have to know nothin bout such bullshit. MTV Music Videos MTV Shows Entertainment News

Heidi Klum Goes Topless And It's Fine Except....

OK so ignore Cindy Crawford on the left. She's chillin sunbathing on her boat topless and she's fine. What I need you to focus on is Heidi Klum chillin topless on her boat with her son. Hmmmmmmm, mkay. I just want to know when it becomes inappropriate to just be bouncin aroun nekkid in front of your children? Or does it ever become inappropriate? Is it always OK to just show your goods to your kids cuz they are your kids and they come from your cooch? I understand Heidi is European and they do things differently over there but um, seriously?

Make Everyday The Best Day - Live Your Best Life

Randy Pausch died this morning. I hope you have heard of him, but for those who haven't, Randy Pausch is the man who was diagnosed with terminal cancer and gave a last lecture which became one of the most watched videos on You Tube and a best selling book. You know its funny, people take things from other people and life experiences so differently...I had heard about Randy Pausch and even watched some of his last lecture. I loved his message but it wasn't until he was on Oprah (of course I get a light bulb moment while watching Oprah) and he and Dr. Oz were throwing around a football that was autographed by a bunch of his favorite NFLers. Dr. Oz said "this is a collector's item we can't throw this around" and Randy said "what am I saving it for?" And I tell you it was in that moment that I was like wow, why does it take knowing you are going to die to become so conscious? Shouldn't we all not be saving things? Shouldn't we all be doing everything and anything we want if it makes us happy and allows us to live our best life?! Such things as using your special China only for special occasions instead of eating on those beautiful plates everyday are the kinds of things we do everyday without even really thinking about it. What if that special occasion never comes? I was wondering how good he and his family must have felt knowing that he left this life knowing that he fulfilled his purpose here. His children will know that their father made a huge impact on people all over the world simply by telling us all that life is precious and it isn't guaranteed and if you waste it by allowing yourself to be miserable, making others unhappy, and never telling those you love that you love them then you may as well be dead already. Randy says you have to choose to be a 'Tigger' or an 'Eeyore'. He basically means are you going to be thankful for everyday, every moment and happily go after everything you want and deserve in this life OR are you goin to mope around all day waiting for life to happen to you with a cloud over your head blaming everybody and everything for the rain instead of steppin out into the sun? We all have our purpose in this life. We all go about doing things differently, have different perspectives on how to live life, and have various ways in going about doing whatever it is that we do. All I want to tell you is to just do it. Do you. Live your life. Make today your best day. RIP Randy Pausch. Watch the Last Lecture.

You Better Work Sharon Stone!

This is da hell why we love photo shop! Sharon Stone was just on TV the other day telling the Chinese that the Earthquakes were karma...and she wasn't looking like this. While Christian Dior dropped Sharon from it's Chinese Ads, Damiani, the infamous Italian jewelry house has made Sharon their new piece (get it? jewelry...new piece...heehee, oh man, I slay me). Tell me Sharon is not workin this shoot! And I want er'thing she's wearin.... Source

Did You Know SJP Looked Like My Little Pony?

In case you didn't, there is a whole site dedicated to comparing each possible horse face Sarah Jessica Parker can make. It's rather interesting. Actually, its more than interesting...it's rather amazing that all this time /SJPCarrie was a horse in Jimmy Choos. Need more proof? Look at many, many more pics at the official website called Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse. Source

He's Just Not That Into You.....The Movie

Here is the trailer for the movie version of the book I never needed to read, "He's Just Not That Into You"....I will catch this biz on HBO. Seriously. This movie could be funny as hell and in 1 minute you can tell that it is so not. I mean, I'm kinda upset too because I was ready to have somebody take me to the movies to see this so they can totally understand what is going to happen to them after our 'date' is over, but it just doesn't look good at all. First of all...do females really do like that first girl does (you'll see her...she chases dude down after he gives her a business card)? And really, this looks like a slightly updated version of Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, 90210 and My So Called Life all rolled into one. But um, what do you guys think? Are you seeing this? Funny...not a one black person must not know what it means to not have somebody not into them. Altho, I did see a token surrounding Drew Berrymore in that one scene. Source