I AM.....

Beyonce Pretty. Sasha Fierce Hotness.

Yonce, Solo, Michelle, and Kelly

So I learned little tidbits about our favorite Destiny Chi'ren and the little sister, and I figured I may as well post them all together. I'll start with Yonce and Solo. So memba I was tellin ya'll how Yonce is bout to conquer da world and part of her world domination is a beyond serious world tour? Well, it looks like baby sis Solo will be on that tour too! (shocker) But here is where it gets interesting..."Reports suggest that following the main show with Beyonce, fans will have access to an official after-party where they can see Solange perform at a smaller venue." Ummmmmm, she can't even be the openin act? She can't even perform on the same stage as Yonce/Sasha Fierce?? I mean she is blood relation. But who knows....maybe a lil Solo after party is just what you need after you done sweated your ass off gettin yourself bodied and tellin mofos to put a ring on it. (I kinda can't wait!) And seriously, don't Kelly and Michelle have albums out too? Couldn't they get some after party or opening act performance time too? I mean, I'm not sayin...but I'm sayin. Next I had heard that Kelly, whom we've seen recently on vacation wit best friend Serena in Miami but really lives in the UK now because that's where they love her, is possibly dating Ursher. Say what now? Oh yes. The Usher who spent more time proving his love in magazines then actually loving his Jelly Belly -- that Usher. In case you all didn't know, baby #2 is coming next month and Ursher and Jelly Belly are officially dunzo. As we all knew they would be. I mean, what a fuckin waste of time, energy, and album sales. I mean dude wrote a whole paragraph of dedication to his Jelly in his album thank you for no reason. Loser. Shout out to Mitzi Miller for writing the best Ursher article in VIBE -- the only journalist to actually point out how defensive and completely over dramatic Usher is tryin to prove his love for no reason. (Side note...I'm hatin on your calendar right now Mitzi!!!) Anyhoo....I've totally gotten off subject. This is about Destiny Chi'ren. Kelly. Right. So I don't really believe it, BUT if Ursher and Kelly are tryna make love in da club then I love it! That is a gorgeous and talented couple right there. And isn't that what we all really want anyway? We like for our celeb couples to match -- on all levels. Lastly, Michelle. Poor Michelle. Her album is out now and no one gives two shits. She has a new video and Yonce's videos (both of them) are still the featured videos on Yahoo! Music. You have to search for Michelle's even tho it's new! But can I just say that while I think she looks great -- I love the lilac dress she's wearing in the video and the hair cut looks fab -- this video is BORING as all hell! This song is BORING!! MICHELLE! You are competin with tellin Mofos to put rings on it and being a boy!!!! GET IT TOGETHA! I don't even know what else you could have done for this song in terms of a video but you rollin around in sheets doesn't cut it. Not at all. No, no and no. That firefighter is hot tho. Gospel is callin boo. That's your lane....stay in it.

How I Love The Gays!!!

Seriously, when the gays know your routine better than you do, you seriously are what they call...iconic. I'm still practicing and this skeletorian flamer has Yonce's Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) DOWN. But what is he wearin? And why? But I love it! He put some zest in my step today. It was much needed. Enjoy!

Are You Ready To Be........

Overloaded with everything Beyonce??? Um, here is the thing. I just a said a couple of days ago that I'm realizing why I love her. I love her cuz she won't stop, cuz she can't stop and she is simply a master at takin even the most simplest concepts to the next level and makin it doper than anything you or anybody else could have attempted. BUT THEN it's like Yonce....I can't witchu! WHY must you go overkill??? We all have limits of how much we can take. Whether its you as Beyonce or you as Sasha Fierce, its all you and its all too much! Mkay, so you're thinkin, F.U. da hell you talkin bout. Well, last night Daddy Knowles let the media listen to Yonce's new double disc CD and explained all that she has goin on. Are you ready? You best be, cuz she's comin. "...it’s a 17-song double-album. However, if the economy has you looking to save a few bucks, you can instead buy a condensed 11-song single-CD version; both editions will go on sale the same day. The first disc in the deluxe package is on the balladic side, while the second disc focuses on more upbeat, rhythmic material. What’s more, the two discs have separate titles. The first one is dubbed I Am… Beyoncé. Papa Knowles said the name of the second disc will remain a secret for now and revealed in connection with an upcoming promotion; he would only refer to it as “I Am dot-dot-dot.” Well it shouldn't take a genius to know that the title of the second disc will be I Am....Sasha or I Am Sasha Fierce. And please tell me you all know about Sasha Fierce. I can't even get into that so if you don't click: Yonce, seriously. We all know its you boo. Like stop it. Mkay? Luh, u bye. And in case you still can't figure it out, here is the mechanical glove or whatever kinda glove that is that Sasha Fierce put on her Mysapce page...funny, it looks like the same glove that Yonce/Sasha Fierce is rockin in the Single Ladies video. (I mean, duh. But I'm talkin bout it so the very smart mystery marketing and all that jazz is clearly workin.) I'm not done. So er'time a single is released, there will always be two singles released at once. Right now we got "I Am... Beyoncé's “If I Were a Boy” and I Am...'s “Single Ladies” and next to come are “Halo” and “Ego”. And then, in just a few days, another single will be released - and not one that is on her album. It's her version of Etta James "At Last" which is from the soundtrack of the movie Cadillac Records (talk about perfectly planned timing). Then....memba how she released a B-day video compilation when the Deja' Vu single wasn't doin as well as it what supposed to and then Ring da Alarm just gave er'body a headache and they couldn't take it? (side note I love that damn compilation and those videos made me love most all the songs on that album and I thought that was GENIUS) Well she's not even waitin this time for you to need a video album. In February, you will gets you the DVD of videos of all of her new songs and at the same time, the Spanish version of her new double disc is comin out. And don't forget about the movie she's been workin on with my husband Idris. Yes that's right, the same time the Spanish cd comes out, her movie "Obsessed" will be released in theaters. And after you take that all in, then its time to see Yonce/Sasha Fierce live and in full effect. Here is the part where we all get ready to be entertaaaaaaaaaaaaained! Yonce/Sasha Fierce is goin on a world tour starting in April. "A 110-date tour in April, starting in Canada before going on to Europe, the States, Mexico, South America, and a week-long stint in Vegas, before wrapping up in Japan, Africa, and Australia." Dayum. I'm tired. For you true blue Yonce fans this must be Christmas, Crack, and the best orgasm in your life all at once. For the rest of you who can't tolerate Yonce, I suggest you turn off your radios, your televisions, your computer....bitch is here and whether you're ready or not, she's bout to take over. Again. Source

New Muziq: Beyonce

Both of Yonce's new videos for your viewing pleasure (videos are back to back). I love both of them. I love that they are both in black and white and I love that they are both very simple - kind of the opposite of how she usually does. In the Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) video she dances the entire time - and she's killin it the whole time. Single ladies will definitely be attemptin more than a few of those moves in the da club. And I just like the story in If I Were A Boy....nothing that we haven't heard or seen before but when Yonce does things, there is just always that something extra that makes it better than when anybody else did it. Enjoy! Beyoncé New Music

Beyonce: I Think I'm Just Realizing Why I Love Her

I'm sure you've all seen Yonce's Essence cover - most of you are prolly Essence subscribers and will be getting your copy in the mail in a day or two - and have read leaked pieces of her interview where she basically reiterates that she isn't talking about her personal life cuz its personal. She does let us know that she thinks engagement rings are silly, she and Jay don't need photo ops and that fake shit cuz what they have is real, and that she and Jay have been together for a long time and they knew that they would be married one day. Nothing we all didn't already know but thanks for sharing, Yonce. The thing is, I totally agree. Their life is personal and why should she talk about the details of her relationship? The little bit that we do see is more than obvious. But then I ask myself....well then why do I get so irritated when cornballs like Ashanti and Nelly try not to talk about their relationship? I'm like seriously, who da fuck are you that you can't answer a question about the fact that you two are more than friends. I mean, have you heard your wack ass song together? Should you want anybody to care about that shit, I recommend steroids and donkey milk and maybe stoppin with the bullshit. But then really, even if Ashanti and Nelly or some of these other couples talked about their relationship, would you really care? And at least for me, no I wouldn't. But why was it a ring da alarm situation when Yonce finally had a ring on? Why do we care so much about them? How and why have Beyonce and Jay become the end all be all of ridiculous fabulousity and no one can compare? Then I watched the video she sent out to the media to give everyone a glimpse of what she's workin on for the new album and what we can expect from her first two singles and I think I understand now. Beyonce has reached levels of success that is simply impossible for most. She no longer has anything to prove. She doesn't have to sing another note if she doesn't want to and would be set for life. She's happily married to a man that has upgraded her and she has indeed upgraded right back. And as she says, she is in a really happy place right now. But if you watch this video, its like she's still hungry for more. There is still a fire in her that is entrancing and amazing to watch. World domination - for real for real. She's singing and dancing like its never over, like she won't stop, cuz she can't stop. Beyonce is simply dope. She has something more than talent, more than beauty, more than brains. It's so easy to hate on someone who has it all but I watched this and today, I was inspired. Just in case it says this video is no longer available - click: Yonce P.S. I do think its kinda grimy that Kelly is now a UK resident cuz no one in America cares, Michelle's album got pushed back a million times and it came out on Tuesday and the next day Yonce is releasing her singles and talkin bout her marriage in Essence and thankin the media. Like really Yonce, couldn't Michelle just get a good week to have er'body look at her album with Audrina Eyes? I'm not sayin, but I'm sayin.

Sister Act

So I'm watchin Project Runway right (sorry that you haven't gotten any re-caps, but this season bores me- Go Korto!) and I see a new L'oreal commercial, and I hear Solange's 'I Decided' playin and then I see Yonce and Solo too! I think it is great that the Knowles-eses keep the money in the family and Yonce is like, if you want me to do another commercial, you gotta put my sister in it. BUT, Solo is the one that stay tryna distance herself as her own artist and being different from Yonce etc. but she continues to prove otherwise. She needs to admit that she needs her sister to do pretty much a whole lotta everything. I mean, Solange wouldn't be sellin nobody's Feria if Yonce ain't do it first and work out some deal for them to add her sister. And didn't Solo just get an Armani deal? Which she got cuz Yonce does the Armani perfume. I'm all for family. I'm also all for individuality which is why I was loving Solo, but if your music says one thing like, "Fuck the Industry" then you can't be showin up in your sister's L'oreal commercials. That is the industry boo. I was only able to find one youtube video of the commercial and thanks to a Beyonce fanatic who taped the commercial off her TV, you can see what I'm talkin bout.

Fashion Rocks!

So we'll get to see all the fun on Tuesday September 9th BUT the taping for the Fashion Rocks event was last night and of course there are pics. Yonce took the time to promote herself as well as honor Etta James, whom she will be portraying in the upcoming Cadillac Records movie, and I must say...she has Etta down. Stunning. And she sings "At Last" which is one of the most beautiful love songs ever, ever, ever written and even more beautifully sang by Etta. I'm sure Yonce sings the shit out of this song. Looking forward to seeing this. Of course Yonce couldn't just perform once and then sit her ass down. Nope, she had to sing one more gin. This time with Justin. And um....I just want to know what kind of Tina Knowles golden glitter fish gill creation she got goin on? The Lil Mermaid Does Studio 54. Anyhooo.... Rih Rih keeps it sexy as per alwasy. Who even gives a shit what she's singin or if she's even singing. She's just hot. The sexiest show girl rockin a peacock head piece I've ever seen. Solo got to sing too! And it looks like Tina Knowles decided to make this dress out of the cartoon section of the Sunday paper. I like the design of the dress tho...and I'm sure she sounds great too. Chris Brown is jumpin, slidin, and workin it out. I'd be doin all that if I were fuckin Rihanna too. Mary and Kid Rock perform. Hmmmmmm. Mary looks dope. Her boots are sick. Yet, I'm confused. Does Kid Rock sing? I thought he just screams and looks greasy. And Mimi. She looks like a grown woman. And she looks fabulous. I can't remember the last time I've seen Mariah look so classy and pretty. Loves it. Photo Source

All For A Good Cause!

For some reason, I only hear Yonce all over this song...I'm kidding! I do hear Melissa Ethridge a lil bit too. No seriously, some of the best female artists - Mariah aka Hello Kitty, Beyonce, Rih Rih, Mary, Keyshia Cole, Melissa Etheridge etc. - got together to record a song called, "Just Stand Up" to support Up To Cancer (SU2C), a new initiative to raise philanthropic dollars for accelerating ground-breaking cancer research. And lucky for us, we get to see all Divas perform the song live on Friday, Septemeber 5th when ABC, CBS, and NBC simultaneously devote one hour of commercial-free prime-time to this nationwide event. This will be the first simultaneous cross-network broadcast ever to raise funds for the fight against a disease. To listen to the song click: Can somebody else get on the mic Yonce? Dayum! And the Kodjoes are speaking out about their daughter and her battle with Spina Bifida. Nicole and Boris wrote us a letter: Dear Friends, We hope you are well. We are writing this letter to share with you a most personal issue and ask for your help. As some of you already heard, our little Sophie was diagnosed at birth with Spina Bifida, the most common birth defect in the US, affecting the brain and/or spine in an average of eight babies a day. Degrees of severity vary from quadriplegic children with major brain damage and spinal injuries to cases of neurogenic bladders or even lesser issues. We were blessed with a miracle child and spared of the more severe symptoms, but Sophie’s spastic bladder still forces us to catheterize her every three hours, day and night, to avoid pressure build up in her bladder and urine backflow into her kidneys. But frequent catheterization causes urinary tract infections, which are then battled with strong antibiotics, which in turn attack stomach flora and cellular balance, cause bowel issues, and that leads to more infections. It’s a never ending cycle and the prognosis from specialists all over the world is a life long dependency on catheterization and diapers, unless we’d agree to a bladder augmentation, which is quite risky and not a way we want her to live. While being a simple body function for able-bodied individuals, these activities may take hours for children with Spina Bifida. So after educating ourselves, studying hundreds of domestic and international cases, and researching alternative and traditional methods, our friend Jim Okula at the Spina Bifida Association of GA called us because he came across Dr Xiao from China. Xiao is the first and only person in the world who has developed a procedure of surgically rerouting nerves from the legs to the bladder, providing a new pathway for autonomic stimulation of the bladder, therefore teaching the bladder to empty itself over time. Dr Xiao has performed this procedure for the past 3 years in China and recently at Beaumont Hospital in Michigan with astonishing results, and now Physicians from Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, Emory University School of Medicine and Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University, along with the Spina Bifida Association of GA want to bring him to Atlanta to supervise a surgical study including ten children. This has been Nicole’s and my priority, and now this procedure can change a lot of families’ lives. But the first phase of this surgical study is not funded, and therefore we are in this alone. Based on a successful outcome of phase one, phase two and the surgical study of 100 more children would receive federal funding. So right now we have to raise $1.88 million to pay for the surgical study involving 10 children. We have included some more information on Spina Bifida and the Xiao Procedure. Please don’t hesitate to write with any questions you guys might have. As you probably noticed, there’s a big blue ‘DONATE NOW’ button on the welcome page of this site. Please, please, please give as much as you possibly can to help make this a reality for thousands of families and their children affected by Spina Bifida. We thank you and we love you. Boris and Nicole To learn more about Spina Bifida click HERE. Source/Source

B-Day: Solange

Yonce, other family and friends celebrated Solo's B-day the other day. Word has it that she and Ludacris are dating. I mean, it is a serious upgrade from her ex....if it is true, its a good look Solo! Happy Birthday! Ummmm, so we now throw up Roc signs on our foreheads? Mkay. I just decided I don't like Solo's make-up...matter of fact, I don't like any of it. Da hell kind a clip/barrett/center piece is that in her hair? Yup, I see you Luda, tryna make Jay your brother-in-law. I'm not madatchu. Source

And I'm Back....

I made it back and I can actually function. During my long holiday weekend, I managed to ride or die, despite having spiders crawling in my back and imaginary rubber bands cutting off the circulation in my right arm. I managed to eat like food was going out of style, I managed to offend some bible thumpers (GOD loves me and my bra UHOPs!), and I managed to have the best time ever with my bitches. I thought I was going to need to sleep it out....actually, I would really like to be sleeping right now but um, I forgot that I didn't adjust my schedule to accommodate extra sleeping and no working. So here I am. But really, I'm back on time just for you, AlooFar. Anyway, I return and it doesn't seem I missed too much. I saw Usher on Good Morning America today...I'll address that in my next post. More importantly, I came across pics of the newlyweds. And how cute are Bey and Jay dancing? How not cute are Nick and Mariah...who manages to lead with her left? I'm guessing you are more inclined to lead with your left when you pay for your own shit OR make a man use almost all of his savings to pay for a ring that is almost the exact replica of the ring he already bought for the bitch he proposed to not but two months ago.

TEAM Jay & Yonce OR TEAM Mimi & Nick?

So oddly enough, I'm just having a conversation with a certain fellow stankin ass (yes, you bitch) regarding the ridiculousness that is Mariah's marriage but at least she put her shit on blast unlike some others we know, Yonce confirms her marriage (sort of). Yonce told Britain's Look Magazine, “I don’t deny it (the wedding). I just don’t talk about it. We’ve never talked about us and it’s kind of protected our relationship. I think it’s kept us out of tabloid drama. A lot of actresses that have had successful relationships don’t talk about them, so neither do I.” And I say that's the way to go. Bey and Jay have been together for over 6 years and part of the appeal of their relationship is that you don't know shit except for what they decide to throw in a song er' now and then. When you do see them out and about, you may see her rockin a Roc-a-Fella chain and she might even throw up the sign....and yes, we did see them on the yacht but that's it. That's enough. Of course we would love to see them bust out in a fit of PDA -- if for no other reason just to see if Jay really doesn't swallow her head with his big ass camel lips -- but we know they get their loving on and we know its real. Not to mention, nobody had an album coming out during the wedding. On the other hand, you got this Hello Kitty band aid wearing meeting some little boy on a video shoot and then marries said little boy and then sells the wedding pics to PEOPLE. For what?! It's not like Mariah needs to the money. Maybe the money was for Nick (I'm thinking Nick is the master mind behind this whole thing anyway -- he's been pressed to get married for a minute). Point is, it just adds to the extra over topness of it. Wouldn't you have purchased Mariah's album without a wedding?! Well....with songs like "This is for my people who lost somebody....." I guess the gimmicks had to take precedence. Anyway, the boy then goes and gets his whole back tatted with her name while she gets a tiny little butterfly that she can easily cover up should shit go wrong. That's his bad, not hers, but the point is, who are you doing all this for? For us? If you love somebody who gives a shit who sees it? But for all we know, Mariah and Nick might last forever. Or at least until her Hello Kitty stupid ass band aids run out. I just wanted to go on record as TEAM Jay & Bey. I can appreciate true love from a distance.

BeyonceおよびSoloangeは歴史を作る

Yonce and Solo have made history by becoming the first black celebrities (and sisters) to ever be featured in a campaign for Tokyo fashion firm, Samantha Thavasa. They are promoting the summer 2008 line of hot-pink handbags. Victoria Beckham, Penelope Cruz and Nicky Hilton are past faces of the Sanmantha Thavasa handbag line. All I can say is, 私はあなたで気違いブーイングではない! すばらしい! source

Costume Institute Gala At The MET

Last night's Costume Institute Gala brought out the A-Listers and their fashion A game....altho some ensembles were a lil costumey (Yes you Zoe K., with your green velvet window treatment dress with the boa and tassel), I'm assuming that was going with the theme of the evening. My girlfriend Eva M. was beautiful as always, but I have to say that Eva L. was killin it in that purple ruffle number. My favorite, however, is the beyond gorgeous for words Iman in her fabulous red dress with the corset and jewelz at the hip. (For real fashion terms please visit Elle. Thanks.) Source

Jay & B Laugh At Us Courtside....

First of all, really, Rockets vs. Suns? You just get married, you are in town for your concert, and of all places to go, you got to a Rockets vs. Suns game....like I could understand if it were LeBron or Kobe or something but I guess she IS from Houston so.... Then of course, you don't wear your rings, just so that you can keep us all wondering whether ya'll are really married. And I love it... A fresh faced Yonce rocks a curly two toned lace front with her hubby Jay Yonce and Jay share a laugh cuz they know everyone is pressed to know their bizness..."Don't you just love how rich and fabulous we are and can just decide to go to watch this game with players I don't even know just so we can be out and about so people can keep wondering about our most amazing wedding -- wasn't I gorgeous babe? -- and since I can't fit my hand in my new purse thanks to my beautiful 100 carat wedding ring and because I want to drag the speculation out as long as we can....wait what were we talking about? Oh who cares, I love you boo! And we're rich bitch!" We must be on the Jumbotron...yes, yes, we're fabulous. We know. Fun times. Popeyes for everyone! Source

Love Is In The Air!

OK, yes we know that Yonce and Jay are officially married. While neither the bride or groom have issued an official statement, there were pictures of people arriving, (Solange, Kelly, and Michelle all wore Ivory colored dresses), there were tents being put up on top of Jay's NYC penthouse, and at Mary and Jay's concert yesterday, Mary gave a shout out to the newlyweds, by congratulating them before breaking into "You're All I Need." But the wedding of all weddings is still scheduled to go down! That is right people, Remy Ma is getting married no matter what....I mean, she is going to need those conjugal visits and I believe one must be married in order to get their bi-weekly fix. Rapper Remy Ma isn't letting jail derail her wedding plans. The Grammy-nominated artist aims to marry her fiance, fellow rapper Papoose, at the city's Rikers Island jail while she awaits her sentencing for shooting a friend she suspected of stealing $3,000, lawyer Ivan Fisher said. "They're much in love," Fisher said. "They're very committed to each other, and they had intended to marry one way or another." About 200 weddings are performed each year at Rikers Island, which offers chaplains and chapels, said city Department of Correction spokesman Stephen Morello. Only two guests will be permitted, and the couple won't be allowed to wear rings with protruding gems. I wonder if Remy's dress will be prison issued? Do you think she'll let Foxy be a bridesmaid? Maybe Foxy can be the live entertainment. Do you think Papoose will wear a tux or maybe dress it down and just make sure his shirt matches his sneakers? Do you think they will make a toast with the prison sugar water? Who would have thought thinking you can shoot people for no damn reason would lead to a wedding at Rikers Island? Clearly, not the Remster. Dumb ass. Source, Source

So What Do We Think?

Here is Yonce on the set of "Cadillac Records" getting her Etta James on. I'm kinda thinkin Yonce may make it do wut it do as Etta. I think they have the look down. And truth be told, we all know Yonce don't do nothing unless it is flawless, and seeing as how she knows Etta is watching, I think she is going to pull this off.