And I'm Off....

Hey Bitches!!! F.U. is packed - mkay, my bag is open and there is some shit in it - and ready to go!!! I am off for a much needed and beyond necessary fabulous vacation. I can't even think of the rest, relaxation and zexy times that I'm goin to indulge in until I'm literally walking out the door BUT before I go I wanted to wish you all a Happy 4th! Enjoy this long weekend....pop some pills, sip that Nuvo, make sure your canteen of Goose stays filled, and make sure you get wiped down!! I mean, what's a long weekend without a wipe down or a lil sucky sucky touchy touchy??!! XXXactly. Just so you know, while I'm on vacation, I still intend to do a few post here and there. I think it is cuz you guys have melted my ice box just enuff to the point where I be kinda sorta be missin ya'll. Not to mention, I just to need to check in and know what's goin on in this mindless world. So all that to say check for me at least once or twice next week. OK, that's it. Sexy Can I... xoxoxoxo F.U.

New Muziq: Mariah 'Lovin U Long Time'

Mimi's new video is out and the best thing about it is that Nick isn't it. Well that and I like more than a couple of her bathing suits. The song is her best song of all her sinlges thus far but it is just aiight. She looks great, definitely but there isn't anything great about the video. And ummmm, I could have sworn Yonce already did the sexy submerged but not really in water thing in Upgrade U. Has Mariah done one video too many? Is she running out of concepts? Take a look for yourself. Whaddaya think? Do you love it or do you think there was no need for Mariah to square her emancipation and prolly should put her ass in a seat somewhere?

Wendy Williams Out and About

Yesterday while listening to Wendy's show, they were talking about these pictures of Wendy on Bossip and hilarity ensued. Wendy was out shopping for sunglasses and clearly just threw a wig on and some 1985 knee length cut offs. She kept asking, do I really look like that? All while laughin her ass off. Bossip had a fill in the blank and asked "Judging by her posture, it looks like Wendy was in the middle of saying:_____" So they read some of the comments and I think my favorites had to be: “…I do NOT have an Adam’s apple; my glands are just swollen.” and "...I no longer have a penis so stop calling me Sir" The best part is that Wendy laughed right along with it all -- as she always does -- and that is why I LOVE HER! She does think we bloggers are the worst but she loves us. She knows she is a hot tranny mess and she knows that the hate and the insults come with the territory. She wouldn't give it out if she couldn't take it. More importantly, she takes her swollen glands home to her estate, spends her millions, and shacks up with her crazy husband. Gotta love it. I'm coming for you Wendy!!

Tyra Gets Waxy

Model, mogul, and empire creator Tyra Banks has been immortalized. Tyra's fabulousness was put on wax and Madame Tussauds in DC revealed the hot creation. I'm guessin they gave her a bang cuz they didn't have enough wax left over for that 12head. I'm KIDDING!(Damn I crack me up hahahahahaha!) Congrats Tyra! Simply Fierce! Source

So You Think You Can Dance? Double Time

Good lord, So You Think You Can Dance is already doing two numbers per couple. I don't have time for this! But I made the time and actually wrote my comments during the show after each performance - I'm so proud of myself - and here is how it all went down. First Dance: Will and Jessica get The Jive. I mean it was aiight. Will of course was the only reason the dance was any good. The whole time I'm thinking is Jessica even dancing?! What is her purpose. And Nigel referenced it and said something like bitch you better step your game up because once you have to start dancing with these other dudes and you don't have Will holdin you down you best get your solo ready. Second Dance: Will and Jessica do a lyrical jazz number. Kinda zexy...Will's body is ree-dunkulus. Willl is just off the chain, I mean how many times can I say the same thing. He is what you call a dancer. The man is seriously like poetry in motion. What I really want to know is how Jessica made it on the show. I swear that I saw better females in the audition process. She was good, yes she was good, but when Will is great, fantastic, amazing, out of control and she is just good....lagain, what is her purpose. Like I'm over her. I've been wondering what things would have been like if Chelsea and Will were partners.....I think they would have made magic. Sigh...oh Chelsea. First Dance: Comfort and Thayne are now new partners. All I'mma say is that yes they are a waaaay better partners than Comfort and Christina were but something still isn't right. Maybe its Comfort altho I can't understand why that would be when she always does what she is supposed to do. Maybe its Thayne. I do think he is lacking somewhere but I can't put my finger on it. Comfort looked pretty and I thought she really tried to look sexy and have the passion thing goin. Thayne looked "manly" in his dirty West Side Story wife beater but um....I just wasn't pumped and I really wanted to be. Second Dance: Comfort and Thayne got a smooth waltz. I cringed when I heard that. Almost like I did when I heard Chelsea and Thayne got the damn quick step. Here is the thing, Comfort had lines, toe points, arm and leg extensions, the spin with Comfort on top like a bird was great, and they were both all dramatic BUT this wasn't enough to save them. The judges seemed to love it but we know the audience never votes for waltzeses (and I know that is not a word) and with their two dances, they better get the solos ready. First Dance: Kourt and Matt get Hip Hop. Seriously, in the words of the mess that is Lil Mama, your diagonals were so off. I breathe much better when you two are not doin hip-hop. Not good at all. Kourtni was fuckin up the whole time. She missed steps, was off the beat, and was just not in sync with Matt all. Matt at least was on the beat and hit his marks. He just didn't do it all that well. This dance alone is absolutely worth them dancing for their lives. Second Dance: Kourtni and Matt do a Mambo. I actually kinda loved it. Was it just me or was Kourtni lookin like Brooke Hogan? Anyway, that lift with all those legs Kourt has looked great. It wasn't hot like fire but I enjoyed watching them and it made me want to do a shimmy with a side of a coockaracha. First Dance: Chelsie and Mark do a jazz number to this Kiss song and basically these two can do no wrong. They connect so well and I believe them every time. And have I mentioned that Mark is just cute as all hell. There really isn't too much to say about these too except that they are just a fabulous couple and they made it do wut it do as per usual. Second Dance: Chelsie and Mark do a Fox Trot. Chelsie looked like a 12 year old playing dress up in her mommy's closet. With that said, it was obvious Chelsie was in her element. She was having a great time and you could see it. Mark was sexy in his suit and the slick hair and I think he supported Chelsie very well. I enjoy them so much. Fun times with the Trot. First Dance: Kherrington and Twitch get The Pasa Doble. Um...Twitch's body is off the chain. His ab situation is so serious. OK so me likey a lot. The costumes really fit the dance and the hand claps and the throwing of the capes...and when Twitch stomped and put his "bitch get your ass over here" hand out I was like aw yeah, make it do wut it do Twitch! This was the first dance that Kherrington didn't smile the whole time and was really for real for real in character. Second Dance: Kheri and Twitch were lucky enuff to get my fave Mia Michaels and danced to one of my favorite John Mayer songs!! WOW! And I'm re-zusghin the fact that Twitch's body is beyond sculpted. Just dayum! OK but more importantly, Mia Michaels makes no sense!!! Damn her!!!!!!!!! That was beautiful!! That was just like how I envision the song when I listen to it....well I've never dreamt with a broken heart cuz I have an ice box but if I did, that is just how it would go. John Mayer is a story teller thru song, Mia Michaels is a story teller thru dance and Twitch and Kherrigton told that damn story...LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!! First Dance: My two faves, Joshua and Katee, get my favorite choreographer. Joshua and Katee get a Mia Michaels contemporary piece and it was FRIGGIN AMAZING!!! These two shut it down every time!! The run across the stage - WOW!!! The fast hits and the passion and the emotion was sick. These two are ridiculous. And Mia Michaels...you may think you can't smile while dancing for mentally challenged people with no motor skills but you are a genius and I love you. And like Joshua said, with Mia Michaels it is so much more than dancing. Katee and Joshua - it gets no better. Second Dance: West Coast Swing. I think I may hate it just as much as I hate disco. Despite that, these two are just fantastic and they do everything with the same fun and intensity and passion and its always just great. I loved it. Especially the hip bump at the end that Katee did that threw Joshua to the middle of the stage. Great!!! Oh and I was excited to see Benji and Lacey. yay! First Dance: Gev and Courtney get Hip Hop. I felt bad they had to follow the hotness that was Josh and Katee. They were pretty good. Wasn't mad at all. They've been really tryna step their game up. I think it looked like when some white people learn how to do hip-hop and practice real hard but I thought Courtney was on point with hers and I felt like she was way better than he was. I think overall they were good, good song choice, and they worked it. I was entertained. Second Dance:I was bored. I was not pumped nor was I entertained. They did a Broadway number and I felt like we did that in Highh School. For me that was the Gev and Courtney we know. Good enough to slip by. Summary: I absolutely love this show and I can't wait for F.U. to kill a Mia Michaels routine. Until that day....I just want to know who dresses Mary and did she really have on a turtle neck in July?! And I'm over her laugh. I kinda want to stab her in her vocal cords. Why was Nigel so stank with the audience this week? Did he really tell the audience don't come if they are going to boo?! HA! I love the hip-hop couple as choreographers but not as judges. This is who I think is definitely going to be dancing for their lives: Comfort and Thayne, Kourtni and Matt, and people may be just as tired as I am of Jessica and know that no matter what, Will will always dance for his life like nobody's business BUT since Kherrington and Twitch absolutely stepped it up with dance 2 AND since Gav and Courtney were just OK for both of their numbers and people might be tired of them just making it thru -- I'm goin with Gav and Courtney. Either way it doesn't matter, Comfort and Thayne are goin home. Done.

Fabulosity Of The Day!

The NAACP Theater Awards went down and beautiful black people were out and about! Gorgeousness!! Eva was gorgeous as always. You know she always gives me a hard on. I love her dress! Simply yummy. So blue dresses with a black leather zugsh must be in this season and Melinda Williams and Terri Vaughn are both rocking it fabulously! **(I just looked at this picture again and Melinda maybe should have wore a bra that pushed the boobs up because they look like they are saggin a bit over each side of the corset. Still fab tho!) Pam looks like such a lady. Pretty. Lovin Toc's hair and dress. She looks amazing! You better work Viv! I see those curves boo! And you no longer look like E.T.'s auntie! See what happens when you stop calling Dr. 90210? You begin to look normal and like the beautiful Fox we know you are. (I'm not sayin you are fixed...cuz you still look tight and pulled in the facial area and I can't tell if someone just asked you a question or if you are surprised but it looks like you been on plastic surgery simma and I'm happy bout it.) Source

Fun & Fug

Kerry Washington looks like she's headed somewhere fun but um, just wondering if she passed her reflection any time prior to leaving her house....maybe in the car window? I'm guessin the answer is no....or maybe she did but decided 'you know what, I've walked out the house lookin a questionable mess before, its fine'. Let the record show Kerry, it isn't fine. Why in da hell would you think it is OK to wear to a yellow sequined very busy top with a just as busy foofy foofy skirt? Your make-up looks good tho. Hope you had a blast! Naomi was clearly having fun on her yacht with her boo. I can't wait until I'm poppin bottles on the U.S.S.F.U (in due time bitches, trust) however, I unlike Naomi, will have my edges in tact. I just had to focus on the fact that her forward never ends and her hair line really starts 3/4 from the middle of her head. Her body is out of control tho, which is no secret. Hope you didn't have to beat nobody's ass Na! Erykah gave a performance in Dublin last night with big giant balls on her head. I'm sure the show she put on was excellent and fun times were had. I just need to know if she tipped over after trying to hold up those fugly ass circle turds. Seriously, Erykah, we all know how funky and eccentric you are but I'm gonna say you went balls out this time and it was a bit much boo. I did hear you was coming out with your own line of rolling papers....that's what I call fun times Erykah! Rihanna was spotted on the set of her new video for yet another damn song. Has Rih put out a song every week since May of 2007? Geez. In any case, I'm sure the video was fun but um, is she supposed to be a pigeon or a crow? I can't tell.

Why I Get Heart Palps Sometimes...

One of my blogger BFFs and definite friend to the show, Baby Brown dedicated a post to me on her blog. I go to Baby Brown's blog to find out the latest on her new "Hunny", the fun she and her BFF Jess have, and for excellent black hair care tips and much more! BB, thank you for the love and the support!!! To read Baby Brown's post on F.U. and why she loves me click: I Luh U Like Cooked Food Boo! And since I'm in the fuzzy heart palpy moment, I'm sending love to all the lovers, haters, friends, the frenemies and those that hate to love and love to hate. F.U. is here for the long haul bitches!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

Pics O' The Day

Two of my BFFs (Luh me some Shortie Doo and Bella!) made my day by sending me some really interesting pictures and I, of course, had to share. Mkay.... Only a jackass with some serious nerve would roll up at a Feminist rally with a sign that says "Iron My Shirt Bitch"...I LOVE HIM! Whoever you are, can we please be friends?!! Only a nasty bitch would take a shit, not flush the toilet, prolly didn't wash her hands either, and then proceed to take a "sexy" picture in her dirty draws for her myspace page. Does it get any more sad and disgusting? Bitch clearly sent the picture after looking at it and seeing that she had doo doo turds in the toilet. Is this something that the kiddies do now? I just took a shit, how hot am I? I want you to see how my ass taste. SMH Only a dumb bitch would fuck up the writing on a cake. The customer clearly gave their order to Shawakkaneenee who was hired at the ghetto bakery, and clearly she barely finished 5th grade. So when the customer called and said, can you please make a cake that says "Best Wishes Suzanne and underneath that please write We will miss you".....Shawakkaneenee wrote everything the customer said - almost word for word. Other than the obvious problem, bitch couldn't even spell underneath. Did she really write "Under Neat that"? JUST WHY LORD?! And just to be fair, should the dumb ass who messed up this cake be a male - please just insert Rayqwon for Shawakkaneenee. Sigh....I'm done. I can't. I really can't. (And my eyes are prolly deceiving me but doesn't the "z" in Suzanne look like a "y"?)

Random Ish....

This may be something we all have pondered at one time or another, but is Jermaine short enough to legally be considered a Little Person? Seriously, Janet ain't but 4'10 1/2 and we can't see her shoes but I'm assuming she's wearing heels and she is towering over J.D. the midget. I know, I know, he's standing on his money stacks. How many poles do I have to slide down and booty claps must I do in order to have these ridiculously fabulous Dior shoes in my life?!!!! Seriously, do we need a New Edition/New Kids on the Block collaboration? While Amy Wino is throwin bo's while performing, WHY is her husband Blake is sending love letters to a crack head inmate named Melissa who is in jail for supplying class A drugs? And of course you can't read his dyslexic, heroine, crack head penmanship so here is a quote: "I squeeze your throat whilst your sucking me and I ask you if your a dirty bitch. At most we’ve got to wait ten weeks for the best snog of our lives!! Miss you Lissy, love and rockets, your Blakey x x x.” Right. Crack is wack people. Crack is wack. After the BET Awards atrocity would you pay money to see Keyshia Cole, Weezy, T-Pain, and Akon perform? Actually, now that I think about it, da hell is Akon doin in the line-up?!