MTB4: One Fuckin Monkey Don't Stop No Show!

Where in da hell do I begin?! I mean the laughter started when the one dude was tryin to do a cross over dribble with the basketball and fell into a split...and it never stopped! Those are the most non-athletic bunch of ne-groy-dians I've ever seen. I mean you expect that from the white boys, but damn! And then Puff got them boxing...now I mean, the least you need to be able to do is throw a damn punch! Willie beat Robert's ass! And I love how Puff had to two pretty boys together....Mando and Carlos. And who would have thought Chubb Rock could bob-and-weave like that? But of course the hilarity ensues when Jonathan and Qwanell, those two skinny, lanky, nerd ass dudes get in the ring. Jonathan didn't realize that this was NOT a game and Qwanell was about to go to work....now if work means doin the windmill like a bitch, then Qwanell went to work. That is how he busted Jonathan's nose. But so many times the nose can take a windmill bitch slap with a glove on. Oh Jonathan...had to run cuz you let Q beat you in basketball, then you let him beat you up and bust your nose in the boxing ring...yeah, boo this wasn't for you. But I'll get to that. Then Diddy wants to see some singing....um, how Andrae don't know the damn words to End of the Damn Road when they been singing that song ad nauseam for the last however many weeks?! And I don't care if you are new dude, everybody knows the damn words to that song. He should have been cut right then just for that. But then....oh but then, after White Boy Dan sings Laurie Ann makes a comment....Diddy says, don't get beside yourself. Don't do it boo. He then basically tells her to shut the fuck up and that he would edit her out. My girl Laurie Ann says, please, you can't edit me out. There will be no show. WHAT?! That's right Boom Boom Kat! Let Diddy know! My name ain't Kim Porter bitch, its Laurie motherfuckin Ann and I run this....well not really, but you know. Diddy knows that he kinda needs her so he tells one of his underlings to go get her and bring her back. Now Boom Boom Kat is MAD. It is time for the boys to rehearse. Qwanell gets his wish. Q is in love with Laurie Ann. He is turned on by that raspy voice and those leotards and fingerless gloves Boom Boom Kat wears. More than anything, he loves how she takes control and gets all mean on them. He wants his girl to tell him to get the hell in that bedroom so I can fuck the shit out of you....so I hope you was watching cuz your bacon cheeseburger needed boo wants you to boom boom kat! But anyway...Laurie Ann was not playin. She gave them like 2.2 secs to stretch and then she busted out in 4 counts of 8! Just hot mess all over the place. Jonathan then realizes that this isn't for him and he is going to quit during rehearsal. I mean I guess during rehearsal is just as good as time as any...and did he really think that they were going to be given time to hug and kiss and sing End of the Road for him? Hell to da naw! Laurie Ann was like holla! One fucking monkey don't stop no show! Who else wants to bug out? Arrivederci!!! Then comes the cut...they all go in the "You can't dance section"....Growing Up Gotti can't believe he is going to that section...I really wanted to know why the hell not? He says "Really?" Yes really, bitch. I mean, forget a Puff for a minute. You got dudes out dancing your ass who are in the "You can't dance section"...they all been bustin their ass. I mean, really, who the hell are you right now? And then dumb ass had the nerve to speak on it...but I guess I can appreciate his nerve cuz nobody else was gonna say anything about learning dance steps in 6 hours. Ah, but then it comes out. Why in the hell are they so bad? Why don't they know this. Um, because they just learned it. But no, Diddy says. They were supposed to be working on this all weekend. Well no, they worked on it today. Oh hell no, that's not what the instructions were. Laurie Ann asks if she can interject...Diddy says, no you can't interject cuz this is my show and there is nothing to interject about. Shit was supposed to happen and it didn't....Diddy then says he is psycho, Laurie Ann says she is psycho too, Diddy says get the fuck out, Laurie Ann says with pleasure and then says she's not scared of him...then Diddy says cut the cameras. Now at this point all we hear are the vocals and there is no evidence of a chair throwing. We all know Laurie Ann has indeed pressed charges on Puff and the actual incident cannot be shown on air if it did happen...and even if it could be show on air, Diddy is not gonna let the world see him throwin no chair at a female...so as he said he would, he edited her ass out just cuz. Now, she also has made claims Mike did some shit too but all you saw was Biv running after her askin her why she gotta act like that. Just DRAMA and I loved it! Now before I get to my thoughts on the cuts....I would just like to INTERJECT if I may....during a commerical break I saw a Candies at Kohl's commerical featuring Fergie. Um, Fergie, boo you will not be singing Big Girls Don't Cry while pulling Candies draws off the clothes line. And fuck is that hat you wearin with that red shirt? Now back to my regularly scheduled rundown. I can appreciate all of Diddy's cuts. Everybody he cut was not going to make the band because it is obvious the kind of look he is going for and the kind of talent he is tryin to work with. White Boy Dan had to go because he was getting beside himself thinkin he was hot shit cuz he lost weight. The dude with the razor bumps all on his neck had to go just cuz of that. But DAMMIT TO HELL DIDDY! HOW DARE YOU KEEP CHURCH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is on crutches and can't dance anyway! He didn't hurt himself while he was dancing and tearin it up! He was fuckin up and turned the wrong way and that is how he hurt himself. Why?! Just why?! Then Diddy even says that the whole church thing, the stories, the cryin is all wearin thin....this was the perfect opportunity to let him go. Oh, so disappointing. I was highly upset at that. Like pissed actually. Ugh! Anyway....best episode of the season. One time for my girl Boom Boom Kat for holdin her own against a notorious psycho. Now I really hope your show gets picked up and I can't wait to read the tell all book. I can hold out on listening to your music tho boo...if you sing anything like you talk, then we have a problem. I also want Robert to know that Willie would have beat your ass without the gloves on and I really want you to burn that ugly fake ass Michael Jackson glittery bedazzled hat you be wearin. And can some break Church Boy's other leg so he can just be gone already?! Stay tuned!