Sambo's Big Ass Chain....Should We Be Hatin?

Fugster T-Pain debuted his new "Big Ass Chain" at Hot 97' Summer Jam and well, it truly is a big ass chain. Fugoonery says his chain is 10lbs, 197 karats and cost $410,000. He posted pics of him and his chain on Twatter and of course there were responses.... nephskinkykr8ns: Buffoonery at it’s finest… Modern day minstrel show SMDH Prinzesskutt: Ignorant. A typical Black person move. Wake up people. leojeanette: What in the recession hell! He’s wearing my student loans around his neck…WELL OBVIOUSLY Mr.Pain dosnt need my $ or support…his next album is gona start with a Lime and end with a WIRE! exclusivej: Yall broke ass n*ggas need to stop hatin on my big homie, and yes his “Mansion” is paid for…all 2.6 Mill…everything is taken cared of over here…His kids school cost more then yall hater’s college degree…COME ON SOMEBODY!!! Fugtastic responded and told us we should be proud that he can afford a big ass chain. He said: "..Let’s celebrate the fact a black man can have things like this and still care for 3 kids and wife in a $6 million house with 32 cars. Oldest child 5 and already got 4 million in her own account. I don’t do dumb sh*t like this till I know the fams good. so don’t judge me from what I buy. Judge me from what I do. Cuz it’s so many artists that put themself before their family." I think he's fugly as hell....have I mentioned that? But even more importantly, for the most part, he is right. If he can take care of his kids, his wife, put $4 mill in his 5 year old's bank account and still be able to afford an ugly ass chain that cost more money than most people in this country will ever see in a life time, then he has every right. On the flip side tho, how typical is it of a black man rapper to spend his extra cash on some bullshit that won't do anything for him, his people or the world? Isn't the best part of having more than others is to give back? How cool would it have been if he got on stage and announced that he was giving $500,000 away in scholarships for Black kids who would otherwise never have the chance to school? How major would it have been if he spent that money to save the house of a single mother and 4 kids because she lost her job and could no longer pay the mortgage? Maybe Fuggers just don't think that way? Or maybe he gives back in his own way and just doesn't twat about it? What do you think? Source

It All Makes Sense Now...

Cuz the other day, this dude told me that some of the fugliest bitches have the best p*ssy. Well, now I understand why T.I. is with Tiny. She cuh-learly has the best coochie on the face of this earth. Here the fugster is in her just as fugly dress with her friends at T.I.'s farewell party. The good news is that T.I. will only have to serve two months. He was given credit for the time he served under house confinement. So he'll only have to be away from the bangin ass cooter and fugly ass face for just a lil bit. He'll be fine.

Essence Forgot To Ask One Question....

Rat Face, what advice do you have for other rat faces/fugtastic fuglies such as yourself to pull a hot piece like your boo T.I.? That is what Essence really should have asked, but instead they asked her some other stuff about Xscape and what she gonna do when T.I. has to serve his time. ESSENCE.COM: We so miss you and the days of Xscape! Are you back to stay? TAMEKA “TINY” COTTLE: (Laughs.) Not that I ever left, but I think I’m back to stay. I’ve just been busy being at home with my kids and just being a mother. I’m also opening a nail salon, working on a reality show and just putting myself back out there without compromising too much of my time with the family. ESSENCE.COM: Juggling a career and motherhood is no joke. When can we expect to hear your heavenly voice again and will it be with all of the ladies of Xscape? TINY: It’s funny because I know people love the music because they tell me all the time. It would be great if we reunited, but I don’t think there’s a big chance of that happening because we can’t ever agree on details like who should represent us or how we’re going to present ourselves, but we still have love for each other. I don’t talk to the sisters [LaTocha Scott and Tamika Scott] as much, but I talk to Kandi [Burruss] a lot. ESSENCE.COM: That’s great to hear because life is too short. As T.I.’s fiancée, you’ve endured a lot of scrutiny and hearsay regarding his upcoming sentence. Has it been difficult? TINY: It hasn’t really hit me. His sentence is a year and day and begins either toward the middle or end of March. I’m praying he gets out sooner. I’m pretty sure when the day comes for him to leave I’m going to be very sad and lonely. Although I know our family is going to be straight [financially], I’m still going to miss him like crazy because I got used to spending time with him when he had to be home. I’m going to go with him and stay with him until he gets ready to walk out that door. ESSENCE.COM: At any point during T.I.’s trouble with the law did you ever feel like throwing the towel in on your relationship? TINY: No, not at all. It never crossed my mind, especially not for what we have as a family. We are way stronger than that. Now, there are times we broke up, but it was because of personal things we were going through, but not for anything like this present situation. Yes, I was upset that this happened and disappointed by the way it happened, but I didn’t keep arguing with him about what happened. At the end of the day, I’m not leaving; I got him. The great thing about all that has happened is that it has made our family closer and we got to spend more quality time. ESSENCE.COM: What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about you and T.I.’s relationship? TINY: That we’re not a real couple. They think because we’re not married yet and have been engaged for two years that something must be wrong. I know it’s a long time, but there are so many restrictions placed upon him now before we can think about planning a wedding. There is so much love between us it’s ridiculous, and we like [spending] time together. So the things that people say and write about us doesn’t bother me. I know what we have and what he shows me every day and that’s all that matters.

Only If You Can Stomach This Bitch...

Watch this funky stankin ass fugly jackass Anne Coulter on the Today Show talkin out her ass per usual. She refers to President Obama as "B. Hussein Obama" for no other reason than to continue to evoke hate amongst conservatives who want to believe that he is muslim when of course, he is not. This bitch thinks there is some sort of irony in the fact that America was fighting a man named Hussein and we now have a President whose middle name is Hussein. She says "it's funny". Needless to say, I hate this dumb broad. And even though I shouldn't help distribute her ignorance, I had to post this just so we are all reminded that these people still exist and make it their lives work to destroy hope, change, and equality in this country. Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

T.I. Has A Birthday Party

So first, let's all wish T.I. a happy birthday. Yay! Now here is where things just get all kinds of...mkay. Tiny is prolly one of the most fugly bitches ever to be created. Like Rat Face actually doesn't even do her justice on the fug scale. YET, we all know that T.I. loves a great personality and that is how he decides who gets his lovin. So great, hahahaha to us all, we could be as cute as we want to be but we don't have T.I. blah blah blah. Shout out to the fuglies killin the hot boy game and snaggin dem all. What I really want to know is, just cuz you fug why does that mean you can't try to elevate your fabulousness. I mean, why must you look fug from root to toe? How is it that your man is makin it do wut it do wit the tuxedo AND YOU come out the house with a Herve Leger (that everyone has WORN OUT) that you clearly need about 4 pairs a spanx to wear - and still you can't fit that shit wit some three toned ringlets for a hair do. WHY????????????????????? This is too much for me on a Monday mornin. I can't. I'm tryna hold it in, but its really hard.....do you think anyone will notice that my whole ensemble is a hot mess? It don't matter. Bitches see the ring. I might be as fug as it gets but my man LOVES IT! I can have whatever I like......sing it wit me bitches! Did ya'll see da hair tho? Boonquisha hooked it UP! Three tones bitches. What!

The Daily Fug

That's all.

A Lesson For The Fuglies - Making The Band Edition

F.U. feels like teaching a lil bit today...just cuz I feel like it. Mkay, yes you know I call every third person fug. Yeah, I Said It. And What? In case you didn't catch that. But um, last night, I'm watching Making The Band...and I was left feeling very much like I could have had a V8. Why? Well I don't even feel like recapping but it could be that Puff said Bitchassedness about 12 times or it could be that Robert really was acting Bitchassdy or it could be that the whole church scene just pissed me off. First of all, Aubrey, really boo? Second, Q was that really for the cameras or did you really catch the HG? And F, Diddy know he promised Hezekiah some air time for him and his church and it just so happened to be at the time when the group was feeling down and out and just full of Bitchassedness. I mean, we know The Hills is fake, but it is kind of disturbing to me to see how all of this is really pre-written. But like I said, I'm not even going to go into the re-cap. So what is F.U. teaching today? Well there was one situation in particular that really had me thinking. It was when Dawn was out on her date with lil Q. She basically has the lowest self esteem ever and it was sad. He asked her if she thought she was ugly and the bitch started smiling and her head was all wobbly and she couldn't look him in the eye. She didn't have to say the words...her actions said she thinks she's ugly. I kind of couldn't believe it. I told my friend this and she said uh, that's cuz she is ugly. And I say, of course she is fug but you don't admit that! She basically told this lil boy in two seconds that she is insecure and she doesn't even think enough of herself to at least pretend that she's bangin. So listen up fugly bitches. People may call you fug, your own mama may never ever tell you that you are beautiful, but you can't believe it. Words are words and nothing more. I can call you every single name in the book (and trust, I have called people every single name in the book) but at the end of the day, when you look in the mirror you need to say fuck that bitch, I'm hot to def and what! Now, I'm not saying get carried away...cuz um, only Fugney Chudney can walk out the house with some white tights on and her face and prance down the street like she's Naomi. But seriously, black women especially, if you don't believe you are the hottest shit walking, no one will. And yes, Proactiv, pulling teeth, closing gaps, invisalign, lace fronts, pieces, foundation, gloss....all that helps. So just look into it and make it work. F.U. loves the fugs too. I do. Just ask Fugney Chudney.

When A Fugster Is Bitter Cuz He Can't Pull A Hot Tall Chic

Oh Fugly Will.I.Am.....it must be so hard to be a crusty monkey with yellow teeth and a face not even his mama could love....so it is understandable that he gets no love from hot tall chics. You see, Fugly Will gave an interview to KING magazine and well, he said a few things that I thought to be interesting. Being a hot to def 6 foota myself, I know what it is like to not even notice Fuglys but more specifically, I don't even see you if you are under 5'11...and even then I might have to look down a smidge to find you. But dear fugly Will, when you blame your reasoning for not appreciating the vertically superior on the following: FW: I just like ‘em short. I like em so I can spoon em in the bed. So, I can snuggle. I dont like long ass legs. Like, what the fuck? KING: I’m guessing you won’t be climbing any models? FW: Hell No. They skinny. They legs [are] all lanky and shit. Fuckin, taking up the fuckin blankets and shit. They fuckin’ taking up the bed. Nah, homie. Taking up the bed boo? Since when do skinny people with long legs take up the bed and the blankets? Seems to me like you WISH you had a long, lanky hot bitch in your bed. One can't help but not believe you. Oh Fugster, when you say silly stuff like that you only prove that no matter how much money you have or how many records you sell, a hot to def tall chic is simply not fuckin with you and has hurt your feelings on numerous occasions. And you lie and say you are 5'10....let us all just note that men lie about their height ALWAYS, so when a dude tells you he's 5'10 that really means he is 5'8 and 3/4 AND this particular fugster is in the entertainment industry and we all know they are midgets, so that means that fugly Will is like 5'7 and 1/2. Anyway.....let's say you really do have an aversion to the modelesque female and simply just like "Shorties" as you say, because they are "packin"....I can believe that because there are some hot shorties out there and yes, shorties do sometimes have ass for days, but then when you say shit like: KING: Anyway, who’s in your top 5, hot and alive? FW: Jennifer Love Hewitt - she’s like pretty banging. Rosario Dawson - she’s even more banging. Salma Hayek -before when she was a mom, extra banging. Rosie Perez....they used to bite Married With Children. Her name is Nikki Cox. Then I know for sure that you are sadly insecure and have not only been turned down by tall chics but you have been shunned by black women. I mean, I understand it cuz look at you but still....maybe now I feel a lil sorry for you. I mean, you actually said Jennifer damn Love Hewitt was in your top 5!! Are you fluckin kidding me???!! Now I'll give you Salma and I wll give you Rosario but then you say the red head freckly bitch Nikki Cox?!! I mean, at least she's hotter than Jennifer but still man....I think even I expect more from a fugster than that. He asked you who your top 5 was...like any woman in the world that you could have and you say the Mutha Fluckin Ghost Whisperer! UGH, I guess fuglies have to lower their standards in the dream world too simply knowing that even in a dream world, no one wants you. Anyhoo....there is more to Fugly Will's KING interview should you want to read it. If so click: When DNA fails you. Thanks Bossip!

It's All About the SWOOP!

Sister Patterson done got herself some new hair!!! Good Gravy, I'm so pleased I'm really at a loss for words. I mean, one can only do so much when one is fugalicious due to DNA but for real tho...the swoop is doing wonders! The fact that I can't see the non-existing edges and that v-shaped forehead is glorious. On another note...UGH, I'm so done with this foolery. But you know I will be watching the hot mess that is New York try and find "love" one more gin. I need to be back slapped. I know.

A Bitch Was Busy Today....

So um, I had shit to do today and didn't have time to spread the stankness but I just wanted to ask a few questions: 1. Why is the Ass of a GoldenDoodle shooting bitches? I mean what is really going on here? Damn you Shesus! Looking at you is enuff to make a bitch die a thousand deaths...did you really have to start buckin? 2. Um, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. You make enough damn money to have Gatorade, Vitamin Water, Poland Springs or whatever with you at all times!! Why are you fainting from deydration on stage?! You know what....since you was in Lagos, Nigeria I bet Beyonce told you to eat elephant balls cuz it will help your vocals. And you listened. A damn shame. 3. And just for giggles.....Who Loves Britney?????

The Ass of the GoldenDoodle is Shesus!

This would be the cover of Remy Ma's new mixtape....ummmmmm, did Jesus have bangs?

What's My Motivation?

People, F.U. is bored!! I don't give a shit about Eva Langoria or Tony "unibrow" Parker getting married. I don't care about Solange and her second, third or fourth birthday party. Nobody cares about her period. And I mean damn, just how many times can I write about Yonce...from what I hear about her performance at Essence Fest, she used up her last bit of juice at the BET Awards. But she's Yonce and even when she doesn't do the damn thing, she still manages to be the baddest bitch in comparison to everyone else. Am I the only one tired of this? Like will no one else step up and at least try to dethrone her?! Word has it Mya is fuckin for tracks right now to upgrade her new cd but we all know that bitch won't come close to Yonce status. Sigh...she'll be yet another one to have tried and failed. Just damn. One of my menzes, Tank, was out and about at Essence Fest...he motivates me. Good gravy....luv him. But I digress.... How many times can we talk about the fool that is Foxy Brown?! This bitch was lost. Yes lost. Her people just simply couldn't find her. Funny enough, she just shows up at the Urban Music Awards and had the nerve to be talking shit about Rah Digga and Remy Ma. This from the bitch who just got her weaved snatched out and her hearing aid ripped up out of her ear. And no she is not talking bout "Holla if you hear me!!!" Bitch, can you hear me?! And I guess you didn't hear anyone tell you that you look like a bloated turkey poppin out of that dress that clearly doesn't fit. Are you blind now too? And really, we all know that Remy Ma looks like the ass of a GoldenDoodle, but Foxy, you will not pretend to be lost then found and then with nothing to promote or talk about, decide you are just gonna start talking bout people. You are the wackest. Like really, Inga Marchand, I suggest you get lost for good. I am happy for Venus' win. I won't even talk about that hair (the bang that starts from the middle of her head and just sticks all out over the visor). Or the dress she wore to celebrate. Or her boyfriend. Oh but its hard....damn you Venus. But I'll just marinate on the good and my girl is making history....so one time for you Venus!!! I'm just sayin....I don't really feel like there is anything or anyone really worthy of observation or discussion right now. Normally, the heat brings out the foolery in most people and there should be all types of stankness to disperse amonsgt the masses....so I'm guessing until Beyonce gets on her yacht and sails away never to return (or maybe just stay hidden for a good year) and as long as Foxy is dtermined to keep her name in the news by any means necessary...this will be one long boring ass summer. I could start talking about them kids at the Harry Potter premier...Harry and all em lookin like shaggy wet dogs. But nope, I'll wait it out. Just wait it out with me bitches!

Oh Really Jim?

So Vibe Magazine asked rapper Jim Jones to list some of his top turn-offs. And I thought is was funny....I bet most of you bitches fall into one if not all of these categories. BAD SHOES “Chicks think they’re fly, and the heel of their shoes is leaning — Leaning Tower of Pisa and all that. The front of their shoe is all scuffed up. And don’t walk around like you just left Africa barefoot, wearing small-ass sandals with your toes crawling out the front.” Agreed. UGGS “Don’t be coming outside in the wintertime with them ugly-ass UGGS on — I don’t care how comfortable they feel. Who wants to roll out the bed and see a pair of UGGs? There’s no sex appeal with a pair of UGGS at the bottom of the bed!” Fuck a you Jim Jones. Uggs or Fuggs (depending on your preference and bank account) feel great! If it is cold as hell outside, snowing and all the extra shit, why not where UGGS? Why can't we be comfortable? If your bitch is fly, she can make anything look sexy...even a pair of UGGS. And how about you come outside in something else besides a HANES white T-shirt. GRANNY PANTIES “There’s a difference between bloomers and boy shorts. Don’t be having no bloomers talking about, ‘They’re boy shorts.’ Them ain’t boy shorts — them big ass panties!” I'm pretty sure a bitch would only rock some granny panties in front of Jim Jones if she was extra comfortable with him and prolly in her monthly crimson cycle. So Jim, how bout the next time you start your monthly drip, you put a pad on your thong? K, boo? BAD WEAVES “Most ladies, they have their tracks showing, then the weave looks hella dirty and dusty like they slept on one side for the whole month. Got one side patted down, trying to get the wild Beyonce look.” LMAO! Pat your weave ladies....I wouldn't know anything bout weaves but um, you bitches that have to roll your hair with rice and use weaves as an alternative, whether you sew, glue, paste, or staple tracks into your head take heed....nobody wants to see that boo. And Jim, your braids don't always look as fresh as they could okay...so let's not be throwin stones. BIG GIRLS IN BIKINIS “If you’re over 200 pounds, don’t put that bikini on, baby. Them spandexes are not calling your name. Big girls need to look at Mo’Nique and how she dresses. She doesn’t ever play herself.” First of all, "spandexes" Jim? And B., he's right bitches. If you got extra cushion, there is indeed a way to keep it sexy, classy and find shit that fits. Don't offend the rest of us just cuz you don't give a fuck. Be mindful and spare us. Thanks boo!