Sunday, June 26, 2011

Just Cuz I Watched The 2011 BET Awards...

Hey there, hi there. My last post was more than a year ago, so I'm not really expecting anyone to read this. If you are reading this, by some random Google type miracle, I decided to just blog a lil sumtin right quick just because the 2011 BET Awards just ended and the only thing I actually thought to do was blog about it. This is not a rundown like I would have done in the past - does the one of you that is possibly reading this remember "The Gist"? Well anyway, no this is not a post with accurate details of the entire show, instead, just a few thoughts about a few things that stood out for me.

1. Kevin Hart was actually a pretty decent host. Even a lil funny - I more than appreciated the "Ne-Yo never mind, I saw your head, keep your hat on" statement. The House Husbands of Hollywood segments were a welcome comedic addition to the show but I can ALWAYS do without Nick Cannon. Always. And funny enough, my favorite Basketball Wife, Tami Roman was the best part of it all. Good work outta you Tami! Anyway, here's my thing about Kevin Hart. He's a smidget. Yes, he's a small midget and I find smidgets very hard to take seriously. He was the same size as those lil boys he was steppin wit at the beginning of the show. I can't with smidgets.

2. Mary J. Blige was a fantastic show opener. Lookin good too, Mary! And of course, I especially loved the Anita Baker "Caught Up in the Rapture" duet. I was jammin. I wanted Anita to have on some earrings tho.

3. I was looking forward to Chris Brown's performance. Despite Chris Brown, I'm still a fan. But um, why did Busta Rhymes make Chris Brown irrelevant in his own shit? And what da fluff was he wearin? Those were like Hammer pants with thigh pads...for no reason. Did anyone see any reason for his pants to be so autismical?

4. Seriously, Willow and Jaden Smith tie for the Young People award??!! Ummmm, Willow asked people to whip their hair in one song. DA fluff else has she done? Jaden at least got two movies under his belt but com'on son. KeKe Palmer been runnin the pretty lil black gurl game for years. Not to mention, she was killin' em tonite...gurl is gorgeous...she looked stunning. But um er uh, these Smith kids just came out da damn womb and they've clearly had a good year, but not good enough to be beatin youngins who been at this SUCCESSFULLY for a minute. Not sayin they aren't talented but um, no. If the award is, everybody knows our name right now cuz I was the Karate Kid, I made ya'll Whip Your Hair, my mother's show just started back up on TNT and my father is filming MIB right now, then they win that shiz hands down.

5. Why do boys still wear pants hangin off their asses? And seriously, why are the boys/"men" who still rock this style lil tiny smidgets that prolly wear clothes out of the children's section and the jeans are SKINNY??? Ugh.

6. How come I didn't know half the people nominated or in the audience. I honestly don't think it is cuz I'm gettin old. I mean it may be, but I really think it is cuz music fuckin sucks as do the people providing the bull shit.

7. It's bad enough Justin fuckin Bieber is at the BET Awards for no reason but of all the awards he can present, Best Male Hip Hop Artist. Sigh...anything to get white people watchin, huh BET?

8. How come nobody told Debra Lee that her dress looked like hot shit. It was poorly made and was ill-fitting. And it was just ugly. Maybe Debra may want to take Kevin's advice and include a "No-Man" in her crew. Really, it shouldn't have taken nothing but a look in the mirror but...yeah. No. And no.

9. Mkay. So "Motivation" is on my serious rotation right now and has been for months. So as you can imagine, I was more than excited to know that Kelly Rowland was performing. BET never really mentioned her in the commercials prior to the show or even when they would announce who was coming when they cut to commercials during the show (how many times did you hear them say stay tuned for Justin fuckin Bieber?). So I was thinking that maybe she was closing the show or doing some kind of special surprise performance. Seems she was the after Trey Songz performer...hmmmmmmmm. Now I love the remix with him on it BUT I feel like he should have been HER after performer. This time should be Kelly's time. When was the last time Kelly - as a single artist - done had any kind of love in America, let alone a number one song that people are still excited about?! Uh, I'm thinkin never. So I was all too pumped to think that Kelly was bout to come out and SMASH this shit and have people excited about Motivation all over again and ready to buy her album when it comes out. But of course, that is not what happens - at least not in my unsolicited opinion. Kelly comes out wearing a big ass hat and a stupid suit. She has the sexiest song in the world right now and this bitch is wearing a big ass hat and a suit. The hat totally hid her face, which is her best fuckin asset, and wasn't nothing sexy or cute about that pants suit situation. No and fuckin no, Kelly. I hate to say it, but if Beyonce was coming out singing that song, she would have been in the most sexiest outfit - still keepin it elegant and classy - and she would have sexed up that whole stage with a full on motivation situation. Kelly doesn't get too many opportunities to shine and it just pissed me off that she didn't take full advantage. She did sound great and she gets a B+ for effort, she just didn't smash it and she should have. Then when she tries to get sexy at the end with Trey, rippin her shirt off, it was too late and it was done awkwardly. Not happy. I'm rootin for you Kelly Row but you just proved why some people will always remain the bootleg version.

211626215621 by yardie4lifever2

Trey make skinny bird chest sexy. That is for sure. And he actually sounds good too. Positives where you can find them.

10. The Patti LaBelle tribute may have been my favorite of the night. Patti is one of my favorite all time singers ever so I was just excited for the tribute...but I was worried cuz it's not too many people that can sang one note that Patti can. Cee-Lo Green as Patti LaBelle...HILARIOUS (and he sounded good too). LOVED IT! Marsha Ambrosius' voice is awesome. Always been a fan - her album is grrrreat. She did an excellent job. Shirley Caesar looked like Glenda the Good Witch and Patti is more than deserving of her Lifetime Achievement Award. SANG PATTI!

patti211626221634 by yardie4lifever2

11. Ummmmmm, BET. Really? Seriously? Ya'll don't know who the winners of the awards are? How could there be such a major confusion between Chris Brown, Rihanna and Drake? Then you literally have the wrong dude accepting the award like he really won it? WOMP WOMP. That is, how would you say....ghetto. Total jackasses. WHY BET?!

211626225543 by yardie4lifever2

The girl chosen to present the award tweeted:
The tablet fuckin said CHRIS BROWN….the TELEPROMPTER said Rihanna. What the FUCK?????? Goin home.

I wouldn't go home. I would make sure they give me er'thing in the celeb gift bags and a few bottles to ease the embarrassment caused by their triflin asses. Then I would make sure they got me into all the after party parties and I would tell anybody who would listen what major fuck ups work at BET. At least you got yourself 2 minutes of fame and who knows, maybe BET will give you a job...I mean, you've shown you know how to read - whether it is on the tablet or the teleprompter - and that seems to be the minimum criteria. Anyhoo, congrats to Chris Brown for being the real winner and for winning er'other award he won.

12. Queen Latifah looked great! Like she really looks good! I believe that was worth mentioning.

13. I'm excited for the new show with Traci Ellis Ross and Malcolm Jamal Warner. A happily married couple, doctors, with three cute kids. I could use some Cosby-like TV on my TV.

14. Oh and um, Beyonce. Is there really even anything to say about her? She's the epitome of "ain't no sense in doing this shit if I'm not gonna smash it, shut it down, murder it and look daaayum good while I do it." SHE'S A BEAST!!!! Even if you don't like her songs, her stage situation has you singin along, wavin your hands from left to right, and staring at her , mouth open, all caught up like she isn't real. Bitch does run the world and with good reason. It's almost not fair. But it's not her fault she's as good as it gets and as good as its been for the last however many years (see #9. Er'body else are bootleg versions).

There's more I can say but that's enough.

If ever my mood is fittin' and I'm compelled to say what I mean and mean what I say, I'll say it again. And what?

Be well bitches.

Friday, February 12, 2010

My New Favorite Commercial...

Seriously, how fabulous does Aretha look eatin a Snickers in the back seat??!! And you know what, I become a damn diva when I'm hungry too. Next time, I may actually just reach for a Snickers or a Milky Way or some Skittles, or some Cheez Its or....

All I know is, I can't believe Aretha fit in that back seat and looked so pretty and was actually acting funny!!! Respect, Ms. Retha. Respect.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Intervention For My Ex....

I HAD to post on this on because Intervention is one my most FAVORITE shows. When I saw last week's Intervention and it turned out to be Robbie from the group City High you know I clutched my pearls, felt my eyes grow wide, and remained shocked, rupauled, and slacked jawed for the remainder of the episode. It is one thing to watch Intervention and feel the pain of the addict and the family BUT to feel like you actually know the person - a once semi-celebrity - just puts a whole new spin on it.

So anyway, I'm sure you've all heard or seen a clip or something by now. Robbie is a full fledged loser and ree-diculous drunk. He drinks all day er'day and not even with a splash of cranberry or OJ. Gallon bottles of Vodka straight to the head. It was beyond sad to watch. He says that he became an alcoholic after Claudette Ortiz, the hot girl in the group, left him for Ryan, the guy who SANGS "Oh Happy Day" in Sister Act 2 and was the third member of City High. Then she not only dated Ryan, but she married him a year later. Of course we were all like that is so fucked up! Who does that? I mean I know you can't always determine or help who you fall in love with, but really? You leave him for the other group member? How is that really supposed to work? Is he really supposed to get on the stage withchya'll er'night singin bout Caramel knowin that his Caramel is now fuckin his friend and group member? Seriously, something in that milk just ain't clean.

On the flip side, no one can be blamed for Robbie's choices. He is an alcoholic because he wants to be. Claudette didn't cause him to start drinking his life a way. He had a traumatic situation in his life, as we all have or will have, but that doesn't mean you become a drunk or a crack head. Especially not when you have a GIFT that has been recognized and acknowledged? Why not keep singing? Sing about your pain, use your gift? Why let some chic and a dude be the "reason" you destroy your life and your purpose in this world?

So all that to say...Claudette decided to speak out and this what she had to say:

On Why She’s Speaking Out:
Initially I wasn’t going to say anything… & I think that stemmed from fear because of the relationship I had with Robbie… it was an abusive one. He portrayed it like it was a “lovely romance” & it wasn’t. I just want to move on & put things behind me. Other people may be in the same position I was in… & if you don’t eventually stand up for yourself it can carry on for the next 12 years… like in my case. It was time to tell the truth… the truth that he so conveniently left out in the intervention.

On how she felt after watching the intervention:
I didn’t watch it when it came on but then all this stuff started popping up on the internet & when I decided that I was going to do this interview I had to watch it… I’m being used a scapegoat for his failure… he didn’t appreciate me, City High… I saw him on there talking about the red carpet… he didn’t appreciate the red carpet… I’m 18 years old living my dream, we were nominated for a Grammy & here is Robbie drunk… drunker than I’ve ever seen, I’m hoping we don’t win because I didn’t think he could control himself if we had to go on stage an accept the award.

On how she linked up with Ryan:
Ryan was always a good friend to me… when Robbie & I broke up people were always saying things about me & Ryan would defend me so I was looking at him like he was my hero. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to be alone with Robbie… One time he threw a champagne bottle & again I had to move out of the way to prevent from getting hit. People thought he was going to hurt me because of how he treated me. Ryan was the total opposite… he has a lot of respect for women.

On her relationship with Ryan and Robbie:
They weren’t best friends like Robbie likes to try & make it seem… Robbie was my teenage boyfriend & it wasn’t like I just hopped from one to the other… I married Ryan & was with him for 9.5 years. I got with Ryan because Robbie was an alcoholic… & the way he treated me. If I had a man now that had problems with alcoholism but treated me good, I’d stick around & help him through it.

On the group’s break up:
I left the group in June 2003… he knows my reasons… he wanted to stay in the group… maybe that’s why he blames me. But if me leaving because I didn’t want to deal with the nightmare anymore is a bad thing, then I’ll take that. I’d been dealing with it since 1998 all the way through to 2003. I don’t know many solid women that can deal with that for so long… I even initially took the blame… I remember doing the Wendy Williams show & accepting all responsibility for the breakup because I didn’t want to talk about the truth… I don’t think he expected me to say anything… but I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m not weak, I’m a grown woman. I have children, got married, divorced… you have to stand up for yourself & that’s what I’m doing.

Claudette also claims that she broke up with Robbie before they put out their first single and had been broken up with him for a year before starting a romance with Ryan, which contradicts Robbie’s story on A&E.

I believe Claudette. She was 18 years old and she left the abuser for the nice guy. It was easy, it was convenient, and at the time it probably made a lot of sense. I still think it wasn't a bright idea and she shouldn't be blamed for Robbie's actions or his alcoholism.

If she does come out with a new album, can you imagine if there is a song about this? The song could be called, "He Was Drunk...So I Married His Friend"...or sumtin like that. I would listen....on repeat.


Friday, January 22, 2010

What Would You Do If Your Lover Leaves You For His Wife?

Make big ass billboards and post them on buildings in three major cities of course!! 41 year old YaVaughnie Wilkins got pissed when her married boyfriend decided to end their affair and return to his wife. The married man happens to be businessman Charles E. Phillips, who also happens to be an advisor to President Barack Obama. How bout that.

She spent $50K of her own money to create these billboards and post them in NYC, Atlanta and in San Francisco where Mr. Phillips lives. She also included a quote said to her by Mr. Phillips: “You are my soulmate forever!”

Note to jumpoffs, mistresses, hos and heffas: they will always tell you what they want you to hear as long as you keep fuckin them. I mean, duh.

Note to YaVaughnie Wilkins, you could have spent your $50K on maybe rezsughin your weave piece and find you a man who isn't married. Just a thought. But you do get an A for thinkin big tho....made me giggle.

Did You Ever Think You Could Sit On Someone...

And kill them? A 300 pound woman sits on her 120 pound boyfriend and kills him. Death by sitting...I had no idea.


Monday, January 18, 2010

Congrats Mo'Nique!!!

Mo’Nique wins a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Precious. Nothing much left to say except, well deserved.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Why Everyone Loves A School Play....

No school I've ever gone to would have even attempted to put on "Peter Pan". Figuring out how to make people fly and keep the set in tact would have just been way too much. This is why we stuck to just doing "Fame," over and over again.

And I always love the crying babies and the people who talk throughout the entire play. That is how you know you are officially at a school play. Fun times.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Really Like This Guy...

Everything is amazing...and nobody's happy. Speak on it, dude. Speak.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Just For Giggles....

Shiz like this won't let me quit....


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Flavor Flav Might Be The Reason I Really Quit This Bitch

You know, everyday I hope to find something worth bloggin about. I get messages from some of you asking just where da fuck am I and why I'm not posting as much as I used to. There are many answers to that question but the real and most important reason is....this world makes me need a cocktail of Pepto, Alka, and a splash of brown juice. I know I say I can't, regularly, but seriously people...I can't.

I thought watching Mariah be a drunken 15 year old was enough for me. She accepted two awards more than a lil tipsy and/or after poppin special PEZ - one for her role in Precious (which she doesn't deserve...anybody could have wore a lil mustache, frumpy clothes, had a make-up less face, and sat there and looked at Precious' files) and last night she won the People's Choice award for favorite R&B singer (Ummmmm, how in da fuck did she beat Beyonce? Her last song was a tribute to Eminem being mad at her.)....

I even thought having to hear about how Tila fuckin Tequila, whose name I shouldn't even know, is spending her days getting press off of the death of her "fiancee" Casey Johnson on Twitter was enough for me.

But no, I come across this new video by Flavor Flav singing a R&B song and my Audrina eyes and slack jaw just became too much for me. Really Flav? REALLY?

I don't understand. When did delusional become the thing to be? I want to laugh - mkay, I did giggle at first but then I just couldn't. My brain is suffering from the pointless and no longer entertaining crap that is shared over and over again all day.

And then of course, just when I say I'm done, I catch an episode of Bad Girls and watch in amazement how Natalie shows how fugtasticals just need to be confident and they too can run L.A. and be friends with no names like the little brother on Moesha and have sex with a Boston Celtic who can't even close his mouth cuz his teef are too big.

I also watch Jersey Shore and have to stop myself from fist pumping, letting my rolls hang over my short shorts, and hittin up the tanning salon - SIKE. I just watch to see if Snooki will get decked again.

And because of this, I know that I'm in a vicious cycle of being addicted to the very thing that I hate - senseless bullshit. So I guess I can't ever really quit but you guys can thank Flavor Flav for my continued hibernation.

Miss u, luv u, mean it.