What Would You Do If Your Lover Leaves You For His Wife?

Make big ass billboards and post them on buildings in three major cities of course!! 41 year old YaVaughnie Wilkins got pissed when her married boyfriend decided to end their affair and return to his wife. The married man happens to be businessman Charles E. Phillips, who also happens to be an advisor to President Barack Obama. How bout that. She spent $50K of her own money to create these billboards and post them in NYC, Atlanta and in San Francisco where Mr. Phillips lives. She also included a quote said to her by Mr. Phillips: “You are my soulmate forever!” Note to jumpoffs, mistresses, hos and heffas: they will always tell you what they want you to hear as long as you keep fuckin them. I mean, duh. Note to YaVaughnie Wilkins, you could have spent your $50K on maybe rezsughin your weave piece and find you a man who isn't married. Just a thought. But you do get an A for thinkin big tho....made me giggle.

Flavor Flav Might Be The Reason I Really Quit This Bitch

You know, everyday I hope to find something worth bloggin about. I get messages from some of you asking just where da fuck am I and why I'm not posting as much as I used to. There are many answers to that question but the real and most important reason is....this world makes me need a cocktail of Pepto, Alka, and a splash of brown juice. I know I say I can't, regularly, but seriously people...I can't. I thought watching Mariah be a drunken 15 year old was enough for me. She accepted two awards more than a lil tipsy and/or after poppin special PEZ - one for her role in Precious (which she doesn't deserve...anybody could have wore a lil mustache, frumpy clothes, had a make-up less face, and sat there and looked at Precious' files) and last night she won the People's Choice award for favorite R&B singer (Ummmmm, how in da fuck did she beat Beyonce? Her last song was a tribute to Eminem being mad at her.).... I even thought having to hear about how Tila fuckin Tequila, whose name I shouldn't even know, is spending her days getting press off of the death of her "fiancee" Casey Johnson on Twitter was enough for me. But no, I come across this new video by Flavor Flav singing a R&B song and my Audrina eyes and slack jaw just became too much for me. Really Flav? REALLY? I don't understand. When did delusional become the thing to be? I want to laugh - mkay, I did giggle at first but then I just couldn't. It.is.too.hard. My brain is suffering from the pointless and no longer entertaining crap that is shared over and over again all day. And then of course, just when I say I'm done, I catch an episode of Bad Girls and watch in amazement how Natalie shows how fugtasticals just need to be confident and they too can run L.A. and be friends with no names like the little brother on Moesha and have sex with a Boston Celtic who can't even close his mouth cuz his teef are too big. I also watch Jersey Shore and have to stop myself from fist pumping, letting my rolls hang over my short shorts, and hittin up the tanning salon - SIKE. I just watch to see if Snooki will get decked again. And because of this, I know that I'm in a vicious cycle of being addicted to the very thing that I hate - senseless bullshit. So I guess I can't ever really quit but you guys can thank Flavor Flav for my continued hibernation. Miss u, luv u, mean it.

Is Teddy Riley Really Explainin' Da Beat Down On TMZ?

Yes. Have mentioned that I can't? SMDH. How funny is it that the TMZ guy doesn't even care about Teddy's pointless explanation and would have much rather been watching why that car screeched to a halt. Damn Teddy...

Teddy Riley Beat His Daughter With A Rock Band Guitar

As in the video game Rock Band. He took the guitar and beat the shit out of his 18 year old daughter. Why you ask? Seems Teddy, his daughters, and his new girlfriend were beefin....ON TWITTER. First of all, what grown ass man goes back and forth with his daughters on Twitter? I'll never understand why anybody does anything on Twitter, but WHY Teddy Riley, would you put your bizness with your children on blast on the bullshit that is Twitter???!!! I can understand the daughters going in on the girlfriend and telling her she's a gold digger and to stay in her land and play her position...I mean they are all like 18 and 20 years old (and yeah, Teddy's girlfriend is the same age or very close to the same age as his daughters) and this is what youngins do all day but damn you Teddy Riley. And maybe if his daughter was a son, I could see him beatin his ass like a man, but why would you beat your daughter down like she's some bitch off the street because of some new lil girl in your life??? But wait...Teddy and his daughters and girlfriend all fight on Twitter, somewhere in the middle of all of that, he leaves, goes and beats his daughter's ass, kicks both of them out of the house, and then gets back on Twitter to let everyone know what he did and not to bite that hand that feeds them. I am simply beyond shocked and Ru Pauled. I'm disgusted. My side eye, screw face, and unhinged jaw are all poppin off. I can't. I think the Internet is the devil. No Diggity. Should you want to see the entire Twitter reediculousness, Necole Bitchie has it all. Happy Holidays.

Seriously, Why Do We Even Have Relationships?

If it's simply for the sake of procreation, this world has been going to shit and only continues to sink to the depths of hell, so we can stop. The fighting and the cheating and the treating each other like hot pieces of shit is no longer necessary. How bout we just stop. It's OK. Really. Chris Henry, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver, is in beyond serious condition and fighting for his life after fighting with his fiancee and jumping on her pickup truck as she tried to drive away. He ended up falling out of the bed of her pickup truck. Ummmmm, seriously, why is it ever that serious? You got Tiger running away and smashing up fire hydrants and now you got Chris Henry jumping on the back of pick-up trucks. Just let a motherfluffer run people! If they are trying to escape and drive away, let them! Just Daauym. Pray for Chris ya'll. Source UPDATE: He died. 26 years old. Sad. Sigh.... Source

So You Think You Can Dance: I Can't! Da Wuh?! Ummmmm...

I think it might really be time for me to let go. America ruins it all the time. How in DA FLUCKIN HELL did Ashleigh make it into the finale, without even performing, over Ellenore who is the best female dancer in the whole group. HOW?! Yes she's a lil tardy and speaks in an alien voice, but she's hot and she can dance her ass off ANNNNNDDDDDD when she dances with Leaps and Bounds aka Jakob, she makes HIM better (if that is even possible!) instead of tryin her best to keep up and skippin around the stage while he leaps, spins and bounds around her. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN, NO WAIT, THEN...just when it can't get any worse, some Korean pop singing group "The Wonder Girls" perform and they are the worst piece of shit performers EVER. No for real, for real, the worst.piece.of.shit.performers.ever. HOW IN DA FLUCKIN HELL does So You Think You Can Dance have a group of non-singing ass singers who are the most NON-DANCING ASS DANCERS on the show? What sense does that make. Seriously? I just need to know. The choreography was literally swaying side to side and finger shaking. I CAN'T! I don't know if I can keep watchin this show. This show makes my stomach bubble. Sigh... Anyhoo...I guess the good news is that Ellenore made it to the finale. So peace out Mollee. She shouldn't be sad. She's friends with the High School Musical people. She's gonna be in the circus. She'll be fine. And she needs to thank the deaf people that got her as far as she did. One time for the deaf vote. The SAD news is that Ryan somehow made it to the finale and Legacy is GONE. I'm confused. This is so wrong. Scuse me while I go drink a bottle of Pepto.

Sammy Is Bleaching His Skin

I saw this pic a few days ago and thought it was some kind of photo shop bullshiz. But really, I could care less about Sammy Sosa so I ignored it and went on about my readin. Well today I learn that Sammy has admitted that he does indeed bleach his skin. He went on Univision's "Primer Impacto" talk show and said "It's a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some. It's a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I'm not a racist, I live my life happily." Sammy would not name the cream divulging only that it came from Europe and that, "I'm going to market it, I'm a businessman." Well I'll be. I really thought after Michael, LaToya was the last of the bleaching cream Mohicans. Sammy is actually going to promote this shit. But I don't understand how. I mean at least Michael, if he ever admitted to using the cream, would have said I have the skin disease vitiligo and this cream helps me even my skin out. What is Sammy's reason for using the cream? Is it not damn near 2010? Are people really still bleaching their skin?! I could have sworn it was determined that Black was beautiful dumb long ago. I mean just Daayum. UGH. Source

Bob Whitfield Is Hee-Larious!

Man Down! Just Why?

Frankie.... At least she wins.

Isn't Black on Black Violence So 1987?

Some of you may or may not have heard about the teenage boy from Chicago who was jumped and beaten to death by other teenage boys. Horribly senseless, sad, and just depressing. Just WHY?!!! I couldn't help but think this young boy who lost his life, this boy who was an honor student and loved computers, had the potential to grow up to be the kind of man Black women dream of. The boys who killed him are being charged as adults and will spend the rest of their lives in jail have lost the chance to figure out how not to be victims of their circumstance and grow up to be beautiful, productive amazing Black men. Sigh....my ice box hurts. Nas wrote a letter to the murderers and young men headed down the same path: Dear Young Warriors fighting the wrong wars! Killing each other is definitely played out. Being hurt from the lost of a love one was never cool. Dear Young Warriors fighting the wrong war! I know that feeling , that frustration with life and needing to take it out on someone, any one. But… We chose the dumbest things to go the hardest for. I remember seeing deaths over 8 ball jackets, fila’s , and name plate chains. Deaths over “he say she say”!!!!! “I’m from This block or I’m from that block”, or “my moms n pops is f*cked up now the whole world gotta pay”!!! I remember feeling like I was the hardest “n*gga” breathin. And I couldn’t wait to prove it. But let’s think. What r we really proving?? And proving what to who?? Everybody knows Chicago breeds the strongest of the strong but I just feel, me, being ya brother from another state feels your pain as if I grew up with you in ya very own household. You have the ability and mind power to change they way we are looked at. Look who’s watching us young warriors, look who’s throwin us in jail constantly, look at the ignorance in the world. Look at the racist dogs who love to see us down. Lovin to bury us in the ground or in jail were we continue this worthless war on one another. Young warriors…. We are WASTING more and more time. We gotta get on our jobs and take over the world. Cuz This movie left the theaters years ago, Juice, Menace, boys n the hood , blood n blood out, Belly! When we see each other why do we see hatred? Why were we born in a storm, born soldiers, WARRIORS….and instead of building each other up we are at war with each other.. May the soul of this young person find peace with the almighty. I’m with you young warriors. You’re me and I’m you. But trust me! you are fighting the wrong war. -Nas Source

Stephon Marbury Needs Help...

Seriously. I don't think a couch and pills are gonna cut it either. Dude needs to be checked in to a special place...where the walls are white and padded. He is a hot mess on three fuckin wheels. And what I really want to know is...why did he choose to waste his dying brain cells on singin a song about hatin Jay-Z?

Sigh....Only Cuz I'm A Good Person

Dear Jessica Simpson, I'm sorry that a wild Coyote snatched your dog Daisy and ran away with her. Something tells me that that wild Coyote is pickin bits and pieces of Daisy out his teefus right about now.....Buuuut since you seem to think the Coyote just took Daisy so they could you know, play tag and chase butterflies, I will help with your cause. HAVE YOU SEEN DAISY? If so, please let Jessica know. She may be in a Coyote's belly, possibly partially chewed, so please be very, very, very careful when you make your rescue, mkay? Spread the word!

Lil Mama Was High....

Off her emotions. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I saw this pic and had to rezusgsh Lil Mama's stage crashin at the VMAs. She finally gave a statement regarding her antics: "I did not mean any disrespect towards Jay-Z or Alicia Keys. I admire them and look up to them as role models. 'Empire State of Mind' had my emotions running high. In that moment I came up onstage to celebrate my two icons singing about NY." This really means bitch is off her rocker, diagonal is all off, and there might be a lil powder in her gloss. It's still the most hilarious shizz ever. The fact that she was bold enough to not only jump on the stage during Jay and Alicia's performance but then POSE with them at the end like SHE just KILLED it just means that somebody is definitely TARDY for the party.

Dirty Money - Angels

So ummmmmmmmmmmmm, what da hell is this shizz? Is Puff really tryna sing? He sounds like Ashley Simpson. Clearly somebody is tryna keep auto-tune alive...don't worry T-Fug...you are obviously not alone. I really hope Dawn and that other chic, you know the two people who can actually SING, get some real shine in this "group"...

Shame On You Bank Of America!!!

Please tell me why a Bank of America teller wouldn't let a man BORN WITH NO ARMS cash his check because he couldn't give a thumb print? I'm surprised he didn't just smack the shit out of her....oh wait.

I CAN'T!!!

And for this reason alone...I am prolly gonna have to watch Dancin wit da fuckin Stars (but I don't want to!!!). Why does Macy look like the dude?! Shouldn't her toe be pointed like that? Why does she look like she's about to stomp around him while he glides doin a grand plie and releve?! Thanks alot Macy. Damn you!

You Will Literally Die Over Spilled Milk

Just why??? I know parents and grandparents get on our lastest nerves but why little girl? Why did you have to kill him over some milk?! Take a look... I bet that grandfather was doin way more than pourin milk down the drain. He was prolly torturing that little girl and she snapped. All she wanted was to eat her Lucky Charms in peace and he couldn't just let her have her milk. Even if she did get stank, the girl still gotta eat. Let her know she can put that where, but don't pour the milk down the drain grandpa!!! You lost your life over spilled milk. Just daayum. I blame Facebook.

Yeah Um...I Just Had To Say Something

I chose not to discuss Mariah Carey's silly new "Obsessed" song for oh so many reasons, but the most important being that the song is wack as hell, she's talkin bout a dude she was fuckin years ago and she's married now, AND in the video she's still wearin hair clips like she's 10 years old. Like, how many times can I tell Mariah to grow da fuck up? So I didn't. But of course, of all people to sing about, she chose to sing about Eminem. Did she really think he wasn't gonna have a response?! And who really is obsessed here? Shouldn't Mariah be singin bout rainbows and unicorns and how great it is to be in love and stuff? How do you marry a little boy and are supposedly so happy with, and then sing songs about a rapper who prolly really isn't obsessed with you? So confusing. Yet, and as expected, Eminem comes back at her. I'm sure you all have heard both songs. If not, I'm not even madachu. Click: Womp Womp and Mariah no likey when he busts on her stomach. Anyway, I'm writing this post cuz of Nick Cannon. The lil boy Mariah is married to. He chose to go on Twatter and decide to get his 'grown' man on and NOT come back at Em. He says... "Quote of the day, ‘Never argue with fools because from a distance people can’t tell who is who. Never take your own revenge, but rather give place unto the wrath. For it is written vengeance is mine, I will repay… PREACH! ‘I will bless those that bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.’ Genesis 12:3.” Be patient in the moment of anger and escape a hundred days of sorrow! People who project negativity ultimately are crying out for their own broken souls. Trying to save a hater is like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino!" Now my problem here is not that Nick is choosing NOT to respond to "beef" and takin the high road and writin down what Rev. Run said in the tub da otha day. That's great. My problem is WHY COME NICK DIDN'T TELL HIS WIFE NOT TO BE STARTIN SHIT WRITING SONGS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO PROLLY HASN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HER HELLO KITTY ASS IN YEARS????!!! And even if he has, isn't she like 40 years old, married, and grown and all that good stuff? Shouldn't she not be projecting negativity? And then she doesn't even own it, talkin bout the song is not about him. Well who da fuck else is about???? She took the time to DRESS UP like his ass in the video!!!! From a distance Nick and up close, your wife is more than a fool. And if nothing else, if nothing else, if she was gonna start this fuckery, why come the track couldn't at least be a hot one? That's all.

VH1 Divas....How Dare You???!!!!

I am beyond shocked and Ru Pauled, I am PISSED. Da fuck is wrong with VH1???!!!! Breathe......in, out, up, down, round and round...mkay. So VH1 decided it was time to have another VH1 Divas concert after four years on hiatus. That would normally be a fantastic idea unless you are the fuckin retard that picked Miley FUCKIN Cyrus as a Diva. A DIVA!!! MILEY SHITTAY CYRUS!!!!! Jesus take the wheel and steer me out this bitch cuz I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are the new "Divas": Kelly Clarkson - Love her, but she's beyond chunky right now and she ain't nobody's diva. Leona Lewis - Leona can sing her ass off but da fuck else has she done other than Bleeding Love and look like Mariah from her Vision of Love days?????? And she ain't nobody's diva. Adele - I enjoy Adele, I chase pavements, but seriously, I would prefer a drunk ass Amy Wino wit her beehive fallin off and her skin peelin. And I can't say for sure, but I really don't think she's nobdoy's diva. and Miley Muthafuckin Cyrus. She can't even sing, VH1. She can't even sing. How does Hannah Montana step into a place that Whitney Houston has been? I can't. I really can't. Is VH1 trying to say that there aren't any more Divas left? They had to scrape the bottom of barrel to put together a show? I'm just so confused. If I was Whitney, Mariah, Celine, Aretha, Tina, Diana, Patti, Cher, Beyonce, Erykah, Jill, Alicia, or even damn Barbara Streisand I would roll up to VH1, five fingers iced da fuck out, and back slap bitches til Hannah Montana no longer sounds like she's singin from the back of her damn anal cavity. So what if Whitney is just comin out her crack stupor or that Mariah is married to a little boy cuz she's a little girl? Is there nooooobody else? I mean call Lil Kim and Cyndi Lauper!!! Mkay maybe there is nobody else and if that is the case, that means you just don't put on the show. Or maybe have your stupid show but call it something else. You can't start off with the best of the best and then go to the worst. It just makes no damn sense. I'm boycottin VH1 til Real Chance of Love comes back on (Yes, I hate me too.) Fuckin assholes. Source

Just For Giggles...

My day just got even better. I just sat in amazement, full on Audrina eyes, mouf wide open, and ear drums have been hilariously tortured thanks to Lil Kim and Cyndi Lauper singin Time After Time. Er'body talkin bout how horrible Lil Kim sounds tryna sing but Cyndi sounds like she's rollin marbles in her damn mouf. They both sound like whinny, windy, farts. I love it! Heeeeeeheeeeeeee!!!! Putcha lighters up!!!! I come from BedStuy!!!! Happy Birthday Nelson Mandela!!!!!