Sunday, June 26, 2011

Just Cuz I Watched The 2011 BET Awards...

Hey there, hi there. My last post was more than a year ago, so I'm not really expecting anyone to read this. If you are reading this, by some random Google type miracle, I decided to just blog a lil sumtin right quick just because the 2011 BET Awards just ended and the only thing I actually thought to do was blog about it. This is not a rundown like I would have done in the past - does the one of you that is possibly reading this remember "The Gist"? Well anyway, no this is not a post with accurate details of the entire show, instead, just a few thoughts about a few things that stood out for me.

1. Kevin Hart was actually a pretty decent host. Even a lil funny - I more than appreciated the "Ne-Yo never mind, I saw your head, keep your hat on" statement. The House Husbands of Hollywood segments were a welcome comedic addition to the show but I can ALWAYS do without Nick Cannon. Always. And funny enough, my favorite Basketball Wife, Tami Roman was the best part of it all. Good work outta you Tami! Anyway, here's my thing about Kevin Hart. He's a smidget. Yes, he's a small midget and I find smidgets very hard to take seriously. He was the same size as those lil boys he was steppin wit at the beginning of the show. I can't with smidgets.

2. Mary J. Blige was a fantastic show opener. Lookin good too, Mary! And of course, I especially loved the Anita Baker "Caught Up in the Rapture" duet. I was jammin. I wanted Anita to have on some earrings tho.

3. I was looking forward to Chris Brown's performance. Despite Chris Brown, I'm still a fan. But um, why did Busta Rhymes make Chris Brown irrelevant in his own shit? And what da fluff was he wearin? Those were like Hammer pants with thigh pads...for no reason. Did anyone see any reason for his pants to be so autismical?

4. Seriously, Willow and Jaden Smith tie for the Young People award??!! Ummmm, Willow asked people to whip their hair in one song. DA fluff else has she done? Jaden at least got two movies under his belt but com'on son. KeKe Palmer been runnin the pretty lil black gurl game for years. Not to mention, she was killin' em tonite...gurl is gorgeous...she looked stunning. But um er uh, these Smith kids just came out da damn womb and they've clearly had a good year, but not good enough to be beatin youngins who been at this SUCCESSFULLY for a minute. Not sayin they aren't talented but um, no. If the award is, everybody knows our name right now cuz I was the Karate Kid, I made ya'll Whip Your Hair, my mother's show just started back up on TNT and my father is filming MIB right now, then they win that shiz hands down.

5. Why do boys still wear pants hangin off their asses? And seriously, why are the boys/"men" who still rock this style lil tiny smidgets that prolly wear clothes out of the children's section and the jeans are SKINNY??? Ugh.

6. How come I didn't know half the people nominated or in the audience. I honestly don't think it is cuz I'm gettin old. I mean it may be, but I really think it is cuz music fuckin sucks as do the people providing the bull shit.

7. It's bad enough Justin fuckin Bieber is at the BET Awards for no reason but of all the awards he can present, Best Male Hip Hop Artist. Sigh...anything to get white people watchin, huh BET?

8. How come nobody told Debra Lee that her dress looked like hot shit. It was poorly made and was ill-fitting. And it was just ugly. Maybe Debra may want to take Kevin's advice and include a "No-Man" in her crew. Really, it shouldn't have taken nothing but a look in the mirror but...yeah. No. And no.

9. Mkay. So "Motivation" is on my serious rotation right now and has been for months. So as you can imagine, I was more than excited to know that Kelly Rowland was performing. BET never really mentioned her in the commercials prior to the show or even when they would announce who was coming when they cut to commercials during the show (how many times did you hear them say stay tuned for Justin fuckin Bieber?). So I was thinking that maybe she was closing the show or doing some kind of special surprise performance. Seems she was the after Trey Songz performer...hmmmmmmmm. Now I love the remix with him on it BUT I feel like he should have been HER after performer. This time should be Kelly's time. When was the last time Kelly - as a single artist - done had any kind of love in America, let alone a number one song that people are still excited about?! Uh, I'm thinkin never. So I was all too pumped to think that Kelly was bout to come out and SMASH this shit and have people excited about Motivation all over again and ready to buy her album when it comes out. But of course, that is not what happens - at least not in my unsolicited opinion. Kelly comes out wearing a big ass hat and a stupid suit. She has the sexiest song in the world right now and this bitch is wearing a big ass hat and a suit. The hat totally hid her face, which is her best fuckin asset, and wasn't nothing sexy or cute about that pants suit situation. No and fuckin no, Kelly. I hate to say it, but if Beyonce was coming out singing that song, she would have been in the most sexiest outfit - still keepin it elegant and classy - and she would have sexed up that whole stage with a full on motivation situation. Kelly doesn't get too many opportunities to shine and it just pissed me off that she didn't take full advantage. She did sound great and she gets a B+ for effort, she just didn't smash it and she should have. Then when she tries to get sexy at the end with Trey, rippin her shirt off, it was too late and it was done awkwardly. Not happy. I'm rootin for you Kelly Row but you just proved why some people will always remain the bootleg version.

211626215621 by yardie4lifever2

Trey make skinny bird chest sexy. That is for sure. And he actually sounds good too. Positives where you can find them.

10. The Patti LaBelle tribute may have been my favorite of the night. Patti is one of my favorite all time singers ever so I was just excited for the tribute...but I was worried cuz it's not too many people that can sang one note that Patti can. Cee-Lo Green as Patti LaBelle...HILARIOUS (and he sounded good too). LOVED IT! Marsha Ambrosius' voice is awesome. Always been a fan - her album is grrrreat. She did an excellent job. Shirley Caesar looked like Glenda the Good Witch and Patti is more than deserving of her Lifetime Achievement Award. SANG PATTI!

patti211626221634 by yardie4lifever2

11. Ummmmmm, BET. Really? Seriously? Ya'll don't know who the winners of the awards are? How could there be such a major confusion between Chris Brown, Rihanna and Drake? Then you literally have the wrong dude accepting the award like he really won it? WOMP WOMP. That is, how would you say....ghetto. Total jackasses. WHY BET?!

211626225543 by yardie4lifever2

The girl chosen to present the award tweeted:
The tablet fuckin said CHRIS BROWN….the TELEPROMPTER said Rihanna. What the FUCK?????? Goin home.

I wouldn't go home. I would make sure they give me er'thing in the celeb gift bags and a few bottles to ease the embarrassment caused by their triflin asses. Then I would make sure they got me into all the after party parties and I would tell anybody who would listen what major fuck ups work at BET. At least you got yourself 2 minutes of fame and who knows, maybe BET will give you a job...I mean, you've shown you know how to read - whether it is on the tablet or the teleprompter - and that seems to be the minimum criteria. Anyhoo, congrats to Chris Brown for being the real winner and for winning er'other award he won.

12. Queen Latifah looked great! Like she really looks good! I believe that was worth mentioning.

13. I'm excited for the new show with Traci Ellis Ross and Malcolm Jamal Warner. A happily married couple, doctors, with three cute kids. I could use some Cosby-like TV on my TV.

14. Oh and um, Beyonce. Is there really even anything to say about her? She's the epitome of "ain't no sense in doing this shit if I'm not gonna smash it, shut it down, murder it and look daaayum good while I do it." SHE'S A BEAST!!!! Even if you don't like her songs, her stage situation has you singin along, wavin your hands from left to right, and staring at her , mouth open, all caught up like she isn't real. Bitch does run the world and with good reason. It's almost not fair. But it's not her fault she's as good as it gets and as good as its been for the last however many years (see #9. Er'body else are bootleg versions).

There's more I can say but that's enough.

If ever my mood is fittin' and I'm compelled to say what I mean and mean what I say, I'll say it again. And what?

Be well bitches.