F.U. To The Rescue!

Dear F.U., I wasn't sure if you were still doing your F.U. to the rescue anymore but I thought I would just say hello and tell you that you really crack me up and I look forward to reading your blog everyday. I also wanted to ask you something. It isn't anything about being gay, nor do I have baby mama issues or anything like that. I just wanted to know what you would do if one of your best friends had an odor issue? Now I know she showers and wears deodorant and I know she washes her clothes but it is almost immediately after being out at the club or working out or even just walking that she starts to smell horribly. I don't think she isn't aware that her underarms stink horribly but I think she is just so used to it that she just pretends. We were out at the bar one night and this guy was talking to her (she is really pretty which makes this all even worse) and she lifted her arms up when a song came on and the guy made a face and backed up and then he kind of just danced away. I feel bad and she really is someone that I care about so I don't want to hurt her feelings. So I guess I'm asking you because I know if nothing else, I will get a good laugh but also because maybe you will say something that may actually help me help her. Love, Your Biggest Fan Dearest BF, Let me first say thank you for reading my blog daily. I most certainly amuse and entertain myself regularly and I'm glad I can do the same for you and whoever else loves and hates me. As for your problem with your friend....hmmmmmmm. It sounds like she needs to see a doctor immediately. But what concerns me is what kind of donkey just allows herself to walk around stankin?! She has to smell herself and know that other people are offended by her skunky ass. If daily ass washing and deodorant has not been and will not help, then obviously she has a glandular problem and she may need some medication to help simma down the over reactive sweat and funk glands. I mean, this is a problem that SHE should have been trying to solve long ago and you should not have to tell her that she stinks. BUT since your friend wants to pretend that being cute is enough and no one will notice her PePe Le Pu stankin ass, then it is up to you as her friend to let this funky bitch know. Do the following: The next time ya'll are just hanging out, like not even when she is extra smelly, you can say "So Funky, listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about something for a while and I don't want you to feel bad or embarrassed but bitch, your underarms stink really bad. Like off the chain bad and it is becoming a problem. You wonder why we can never share each others clothes? Because after you wear some shit of mine I can never wear it again cuz your skunky ass done left a permanent smell in my shit and there doesn't seem to be enough Tide in the world to get the smell out. Do you wonder why dudes don't want to talk to you after your put your arms up?! Its because you stink!! There is just no other way to say it. Now I know you take daily showers and I've seen the extra strength deodorant in your medicine cabinet but that shit don't work. I would like you to please see a doctor about this problem because I'm sure this is an issue that can be fixed. Now should you want to continue smelling like you do and not seek help, then its a wrap. I refuse to be friends with someone who smells like the sweaty balls of 50 men." Now BF, you can cut and paste as you see fit. But the point is, you need to say something. Good luck with that. F.U.