The Gist: American Music Awards

UPDATE: The Jonas boy actually cut his hand. Why does that make it ever more hilarious! HEEHEEE!!! So um, was I the only one that could have had a V8? Seriously, that award show was boring as all hell. With the exception of a few highlights, this show left much to be desired. So what were the highlights....well first and foremost, that little boy falling....um, the Jonas Brothers or whoever those little boys are.....I know his knees were hurting because A.) he tripped over the bar and onto his knees and 2.) he fell on the shattered glass. HAHAHAHAHA! You know I got my giggle on this morning watchin it again on the tube. As for musical performances....Mary was my favorite. It's funny because Mary doesn't have a history of being the best live performer but with experience comes growth and grace and this time around she sounded GREAT, she didn't need any back up dancers cuz she was droppin it all by herself, and she looked fuckin FAB! I luvs me some Mary. Chris Brown was my next fave....that boy good! He good! Chris gets me soooooo excited for my So You Think You Can Dance auditions. I will so be stealing his dancing on the ceiling move. I just have to get my dancing on the floor moves down first. He gives a great show most always and I like his lil song. I most certainly stopped talking to pay attention to Chris Breezy....definitely a show stopper. Alicia Keys. I know some of you think AK was prolly the best of the night thanks to her reggae tribute and her bo-gul-in and wy-nin and stuff but I think Elephant Man et al. took away from HER....and I know she did that because AK has trouble singing "No One" live (she wrote that song in a higher octave than her voice can really handle) and so to take the strain off her voice, she hit us with a verse and then let the Jamaicans take over. Me no likey bum-ba-clot. I did, however, enjoy her cuz she's so pretty and she too gets better with experience and growth and all that good stuff. Fergie. I loved her dress. I loved that she did a medley. Her boyfriend is hot. I want her to take that eyebrow earring out. Rihanna.....first of all, she makes anything look good....EXCEPT for whatever she wore on the red carpet. BUT she worked the hell out of that dress she performed in. As for her actual performance....eh. I liked the instrumental Umbrella but I could have done w/out her and Ne-Yo. I don't like that song and Ne-Yo is so fugly. Lastly, I did like Lenny Kravitz. First cuz damn that man is hot. Second, cuz even tho his ballad seemed long as hell, I like the song and if that is anything like what we can expect from the new album, then I'm beyond ready for some Lenny K in my life. Yum. Now as for what I didn't like. How come Justin Timberlake can be nominated for everything in every single category? You know he's definitely on my Something New list but seriously, people. Seriously? I can't even tell you who else performed. Oh wait, Celine Dion performed....I do love me some Celine and I like her new song but I wasn't entranced like I normally am when Celine be sangin. So that means she wasn't good. Queen Latifah....yeah um.....I was distracted by her light hair and that black dress. Something wasn't working for me. Like she looked nice but something was off. And I don't even really remember what she was singing. So that means she wasn't good. I don't remember anything else except this. When you have conquered the WORLD. Been everywhere, done everything, won this and won that, have more money than you will ever be able to spend, have more talent than most can only dream to have......what else can you do? You do a duet with Sugarland and take over Country Music! That's right ya'll! Yonce's a little bit country!!! I was confused when the person announcing the next act said "singing Irreplaceable is Sugarland!" Like I didn't get it.....and then I hear a banjo and then this country group is singing "To Da Lef, To Da Lef"....with my mouth agape, a bitch was speechless. I was like did Yonce let them do this to her song? And then strike me down here comes Yonce to kick it on the next verse! The only thing missing was her cowboy hat/boots and a piece of hay in her mouth....yes people, Yonce has decided that if no other bitch will do wut needs to be done to at least try to come close to her level, then she's just going to continue to take over all of it. Carrie Underwood better get used to being on top now because in 5, 4, 3, 2......1 Yonce is bout to get bitches bodied Honkey Tonk style all over that ass.