F.U. To The Rescue!

So I'm checkin my email, killin a purple bag of Skittles, when I come across an email titled: "Eye Cum"....so I'm thinking hello, why the fluff isn't my SPAM filter on?! But the name attached to this email wasn't from Dxxhyei877466, the name actually looked real, and well, what's a lil eye cum? Let's just say, I might sue this bitch for making me almost choke to death on my damn skittles! Dear F.U., Hey girl, you are a girl right? Sometimes you be talking about your girlfriends, I think you just added Eva to your rotation, but then you talk about men too. Anyway, I read your blog everyday and I thought maybe you can help me give my friend some advice. So, my friend who is actually also my co-worker, has been coming to work the last few months with a sever case of pink eye. At first, I was like, stay away from me, you need to see a doctor about that because I know pinkeye is contagious. So she was like it isn't pink eye, so I'm like well what is it then because your shit is fucked up? She was like I don't know. So a few weeks pass and her eye is still pink but now it has like crusty stuff on it and kinda of swollen. Even our boss asked her did she have a medical condition. She kept telling everyone that she saw a doctor and that she was fine. So one day we are having lunch and all I can do is stare at her eye. She was like can you stop staring at me? So I'm like well I would but how I am supposed to eat my lunch when it look like you got bacterial fungi drippin out your eye?! She was like it isn't fungi or bacteria, it's cum. I asked her to repeat herself because I thought I didn't hear correctly. F.U. listen to this shit. She said that since she's been dating her new boyfriend they have sex all the time but every time he is ready to bust a nut he has to nut in her eye. So her eye is now infected from repeated cum shots in her eye. What the hell do you say to that? So I asked her if she liked it. She says no but everything else about him is wonderful and she doesn't want this to be the reason they break up. She said that she has asked him why he has to do that and if he will stop and he says it is what he likes and it isn't that big of a deal. She says he always wipes her face and eye off when they are finished. I was like well clearly he ain't wiping it all up because you got cum infecting your eye. Isn't this like sexual abuse or something? Help me Help her Dear Help me Help her, I am still choking on my damn skittles! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to say to this. Wait, you said "bacterial fungi drippin from your eye" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean, this has to be a joke. This cannot be true. No bitch is going to allow some man to just bust in her eye regularly. Now I know guys like to bust on the face every now and then and some may accidentally squirt a tear duct but come on now, this is a bit much. If this is true, then your friend's boyfriend clearly has a fetish that she is clearly allergic to (although I'm sure we all are allergic to eye cum) and/or is just too desperate to have a man (even one that has her walking around with bacterial fungi drippin out of her eye) to tell him to stop doing that shit. My question is, does he not see her eye?! If her eye looks the way you described, I would think he wouldn't want to be fuckin anybody that has a wonky infected eye looking like Sloth from the Goonies! Not to mention, if it is clear that she is having some kind of reaction to his 'fetish', I would think if he cared about her that would be enough for him to stop. Seriously, if she is dumb enough to get squirted in the eyeball and allow this man to continue to do this, then you can't help her. And yes, maybe this is some kind of sexual abuse but it sounds more to me like they are just nasty ass idiots. But maybe you might want to ask her if she thinks she may need help to find out why she would allow this to happen to her. Maybe she might want to ask him if he thinks he needs help to find out why he can't get off unless he gets off in a cornea. I just hope bitch got a serious stash of eye antibiotic and she might want to invest in an eye patch. Maybe with some glitter on it to jazz it up. Or diamond encrusted. I think Slick Rick had one like that. That's all. F.U. P.S. I might be a pregnant man/woman like Thomas the pregnant man/woman except my wife is way hotter than Thomas'.