Why Are The Critics Hating On SATC?!

I'm sure, like most of the country, you all saw SATC last weekend or plan to see it some time soon...and no, not on HBO or on DVD. Like you believe it is worth it to take a trip to the movie theater, pay $13 for a ticket, and sneak in your own 1/2 lb. of Twizzlers that were $1.29 at Shop Rite but are $6.50 for a pack of 12 at the theater. Right? Right. Anyhooo...the critics were panning the movie before it came out but Monday's edition of the New Yorker features an article that is for one, written by a man and for B. the article screams bitterness for no damn reason. I'm infamous for being stank and bitter just because I feel like it but I mean, come on! This movie wasn't made to win Oscars and have people die cause the Titanic went down. This movie was made for those, who for the last four years, have been watching the watered down re-runs on TBS, WPIX, and any other station that still plays our girls because its all we have left. This movie was made so we could catch up with Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha and see if our lives, if they ever were, are still in sync with theirs. And if not...we most certainly couldn't wait to see why. This is the illustration used to represent SATC...why?! Anthony Lane starts his article off by depicting the necessary process of going to a screening of a highly anticipated movie. As a film critic for The New Yorker, I'm sure this wasn't his first screening nor his first time dealing with such small inconveniences. "...at the screening I attended, we were asked not only to surrender our cell phones but to march through a beeping security gate, as if boarding a plane to Tel Aviv. There was even a full-body pat-down, by far the biggest turn-on of the night." Um, the same shit happened to me when I went to the screening of "I Am Legend"....not only did they take my cell phone but they took my laptop too! And that movie....well, I'll just say thanks to WGB for the advance screening and the opportunity to save my $13 and my twizzlers. Mr. Lane then proceeds to make mention of the fact that movie is just 2 hours and 15 minutes of the TV show. UMMMMM, is it me, or isn't that point? I would think if you are going to see a movie based on a TV show that ran for seven years, you kinda want to pick up right where the show left off. Not to mention, the best part of the movie is that you felt like you were watching it at home with your girls like old times. I mean, DUH. He then breaks down each of the women. Miranda....he says she's married, has a child, a job and not enough sex. Charlotte....he says she's blissfully married (and he actually doesn't even mention Lilly, their adopted Asian baby). Now before I continue he talks about the two men that Miranda and Charlotte are married to...like, Miranda is married to a 'Steve' and Charlotte is married to a 'Harry' whom Mr. Lane says looks like Dr. Evil. I believe he was making the point that of course the two married ones are married to the not so hot ones (while Carrie and Samantha have the hot ones and one ends up not married and one is stood up at the alter)....but um, don't Miranda and Charlotte (and even Carrie and Samantha) sound like countless women you know in real life? Continuing.... Samantha....she buys a dog that screws too. Carrie....she receives a proposal of marriage and gets carried away in gowns by her friends. He says "In a montage of wedding-dress fittings, she honors “new friends like Vera Wang and Carolina Herrera and Christian Lacroix, Lanvin and Dior,” and so on; what I object to is not the name-dropping—think of it as a chick response to “American Psycho”—but the montage itself, which is shot in lazy veils of schmaltz." Seriously?! Oh but there is more...."Mr. Big not only buys her a penthouse apartment (“I got it”), he offers to customize the space for her shoes and other fetishes. “I can build you a better closet,” he says, as if that were a binding condition of their sexual harmony: if he builds it, she will come. The creepiest aspect of this sequence was the sound that rose from the audience as he displayed the finished closet: gasps, fluttering moans, and, beside me, two women applauding. The tactic here is basically pornographic—arouse the viewer with image upon image of what lies just beyond her reach—and the film makes feeble attempts to rein it in." Of course those women were applauding!!! Did you SEE that closet! And of course he'll build it and of course she will come (and cum)...I mean that closet was friggin orgasmic. What woman wouldn't?! So yeah, maybe there is a 'pornographic—arouse the viewer with image" thing goin on but that sounds like a good movie making technique to me. Isn't the joy of movie viewing the fantasy of it all? The longing and the yearning to be in that place, to have what they have, to do as they do. And SATC makes you feel as if it is possible to have all that and more...because why can't you? And no, maybe we can't all afford the shoes, the dresses, and the penthouses and no, maybe we won't all marry men who can build us the closet of our dreams or buy us the rings that we can buy for ourselves but that isn't the point. The point of this movie was for women (and men) to see themselves in at least one, if not all of these women (and men) AND Jennifer Hudson's character too (because colored people do exist...especially in NYC). To know that life doesn't always have to go according to somebody else's plan. Just because society or your friends think you should be doing this or things have to be this way, it doesn't mean you have to follow suit. When you trust your instincts and you do things your way, you'll be fine. And at the end of the day there is always LOVE. Whether it is love from your man, or your woman, or your bestest friends in the world. The LOVE is always there. Find it. Cherish it. Keep it. Share it....and you'll be just fine. And I think the real point here is to not have bitter, prolly fugly ass men, review movies that they know nothing about. Stay home and scratch your musty balls. I can only imagine what a review on those things would be like. To read the full article click: Anthony Lane says: "All the film lacks is a subtitle: “The Lying, the Bitch, and the Wardrobe.”