The Gist: The VMAs....Seriously?

Sigh....is it me, or is the award show dying? The BET Awards was as bootleg and wackadocious as it gets and now this shit. The 2008 VMAs were boring as all hell AND seriously, did MTV sign a "will do anything to get Britney back on TRL contract"???? I mean what da hell?! First of all, they tell everyone Britney is opening the show. In truth, Jonah Hill opened the damn show. That bullshit skit they did wasn't funny at all AND Jonah did all the damn talking. Then all this drama - cameras following her from her dressing room and she comes out and she puts the microphone right in front of her face and she says some shit about the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. Is that it? Seriously? All that for that. Real fuckin great. Mean while, I'm wondering if they are gonna go all out for this bitch, the least somebody could do is get her a weave that doesn't look like they just snatched it off some Barbie dolls head and put some crimps in it. And seriously, I can appreciate a Britney just like anybody else but her video was not deserving of nan one of those fuckin awards and I think Katy Perry was India Aried. Anyway....then Rihanna performs and truth be told she was the real show opener...altho...I mean, it was aiight. I didn't even realize she was singing until about the second verse. Already I'm switching over to watch Family Guy. They were showing the double episodes of when Stewie kills Lois. Hilarious!!! So switching back and forth, I notice that the audience is real wack and that Russell Brand dude is pretty decent. I mean, if he didn't say anything else him telling everybody to vote for Barack was enough. But then when he said his country wouldn't trust Bush with some scissors....I definitely giggled on that one. So for that alone, I like this Brand dude. Then the Jonas Brothers. Seriously? I don't get it. Like what do they do exactly? Get crunk on the tambourine?? I can't. And then just to fast forward to Jordan Sparks gettin bout it cuz of the comments being made about Promise Rings. She said "I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring. Because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut." Slow your roll American Idol. First of all, dude was joking. Secondly, just cuz you feel like you have to wear a ring to vow to yourself and the world that you won't be fuckin until you're married doesn't mean er'body else gotta be sluts. I mean, and really, it's all you hos that say you are virgins and aren't fuckin until you're married dat be the ones who are straight up takin that shit er'which way since you were like 14 (and that's prolly being generous). How u doin Britney? Anyway...I think the best performance of the night was Pink's "So What". She looked hot and sounded hot and I'm lovin that song. I love me some Pink. She's dope. I like that Lil Wayne looked like he was really enjoying his performance. He looked really happy to be there and I don't think it was the sizzurp....altho when he went to accept his award one of his peoples had the official 32 oz Styrofoam cup with a straw. Hmmmmm. Rihanna looked EXTRA DOPE when she performed with T.I. By the way, I can't stand that you can have whatever you like song T.I. did first. That shit is so corny. But the song with Rih is what's up but only cuz of her. Her outfit was sick and those sunglasses are the bizness. I wanted her to stop trying to hold her lil jacket together. There should have been some taping of the boobies to the jacket if you were gonna have the jacket unzipped with nothing under it. Other than that, I could have stared at her all day. I can't tell if I like Christina Aguilera's song. Her boobies still got milk in them tho. She looked great. And I liked Kanye's performance. Kanye is really the ultimate entertainer. He definitely knows how to switch it up and keep it interesting. And he sounded pretty good too. Altho, what is up wit er'body tryna sing? I thought that died out with Ja Rule...no? Anyway, another year, another womp womp.