Wednesday, December 17, 2008

F.U. To The Rescue!

I love that you seek my help. Seriously.

What's good F.U.! I thought it would be fun just to ask you what you would do. Long story short, I have a friend who has horrible acne. Proactiv don't know what to do with her acne. People actually stare at her in disgust almost. I've known her for a long time, and as long as I've known her she had acne and it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Anyway, I've made new friends who are just as pretty as me and when we go out without my acne friend we get numbers, we get drinks, we have fun. When I go out with her, my other friends don't want to go and let's just say I don't have any fun. What's crazy is that her body is dope and she has really pretty hair and her sense of fashion is sick. She works on everything that she has control over. It's just her face. She doesn't really talk about it, but I know she is sad that she can't get a man and that people talk about her. It's not fair. Would you keep hanging out with her?

Peace,

Connect the Dots



Dear Connect the Dots,

I'm gigglin at your name. I love the pun. You can connect the acne dots on her face and you need to connect the dots to come to a conclusion about your friendship. Brilliant. Anyhoooo, I would keep hanging out with her, I would just hang out with her at the movies or in the crib. You know, dark places where the goal isn't to be seen. And since she is well aware of her facial grossness, then she'll understand.

But here is what I want to know. Has she tried EVERYTHING? I mean has she called Dr. Zizmor? I don't know where you live, but in NYC we have Dr. Zizmor and if you believe his commercials, dude can work miracles! Like he can put a hurtin on a pepperoni face! You mentioned ProActiv, and clearly she's tried that, but maybe she needs something you need a pharmacist for. Like she might need a scrption for that extra greasy shit. And it may also be her diet. She needs to look into a holistic approach as well. Sometimes acne can be an allergic reaction to something you have no idea you are allergic to. It could be something she is eating or putting on her skin. Her problem sounds internal. A pimple here or there is fine, but if her face is covered and it isn't clearing up at all, then I recommend Donkey Milk and Steroids aka very serious medical attention...not just some shit you can order off an infomercial.

I don't think you should stop being friends with someone who would change her situation in a heartbeat if she could. I mean, it fucks your shit up obviously. I can imagine a dude rollin up on her from behind and then when she turns around he pretends he was tryna get by her to talk to somebody who isn't even there. AHAHAHAHAHA! And I bet dudes can't even see you cuz after getting a look at her oily ass white and black head saturated face, they can't even look in your direction anymore. Fuglies roll together, you know. They see one fug, you all fug. So you may as well got acne too. But there are so many other places you can go where you can have fun and it isn't about tryna get drinks, and meetin guys and stuff. And who knows....maybe her situation will eventually get better. Even tho if the bumps do clear up, you know she is gonna have all kinds of marks and scars and shit. Ewwww!

Just be happy it ain't you bitch, mkay?

F.U.

8 comments:

Dee said...

I'm kinda mad at this. Connect the Dots is considering not being her friend over some shallow ish like this? "We get numbers, we get drinks, we have fun..." Seriously, is that your main concern? I thought friendships are supposed to last through thick and thin, ot just during the fun times. If this girl's situation is that bad, she probably feels really lost and lonely. I'm sure she realizes she is a downer within the club scene, but this so-called "friend" I'm sure isn't helping do anything to lift her spirits or her self-esteem. Ugh, do her a favor actually, Connect the Dots, and just go away; who needs friends like you.

Geoffrey said...

Obviously "Connect The Dots" is young. As you get older, you will realize what true friendship is about. When you need to move, or go to the emergency room (or clinic), move a body, or do some shit that really matters, your cute friends will all be right there, I'm sure.

Just be associates with this unfortunate one. But don't confuse associates with friends.

*And let's NOT be confused. Dudes will fuck anything with a vagina. Did you NOT see Nip Tuck when ole boy smashed ole girl with a paper bag on her head?!

Yea I Said It said...

Connect the Dots, friend can go to a dermatatogist,who can really help her, she sounds like she may have too much of the male hormones. She can be helped. As for Connect the Dots,the best thing to happen to you is for your friend to find out now, how truly two-faced you are. Only someone with low self esteem would think being able to collect phone numbers and drinks is a big to do.... WOW! Your friend will not always have acne,bet that. You however will always be a bitter back-stabbing two-faced low life gutter-snipe.And you might not look so hot your damn self and let you tell it there is nothing wrong with your face. Never look down your nose at anyone the outside is not an indication of whats inside.Send me your friends number I will tell her where and how to get help so she can surpass you and all you stand for..... Talk about rodent!

Yea I Said It said...

I met to spell dermatologist

F.U. said...

Dee - WOW! Tell em' why you mad son! That bitch can put that where?! Back there! I know that's right.

Geoffrey - CTD is prolly a youngin and she prolly knows not being friends with someone because they have acne is not a good thing, which is why she asked for my advice. But you're right....as she grows up, she'll learn.

Oh and dudes will fuck antyhing wit a coochie, BUT her face must be really rotten if whenever she's around the fun times ain't as fun as they are when she ain't there.


Yea I Said It - Yes, she needs medical attention and hopefully CTD will help her work on getting the help she needs.

Maybe all of your comments will help her realize that friendships run deeper than black heads.

Happiest Nappy said...

Speechless. I am.

Luh you F.U.!

[Emeritus] said...

accutane helps but under strict medical monitoring as that shit will leave you sterile. also only availbale in canada and mexico. i have a friend who used it. and i agree with the first commentor.

glennishamorgan said...

This is very shallow.