Tuesday, July 21, 2009

VH1 Divas....How Dare You???!!!!

I am beyond shocked and Ru Pauled, I am PISSED. Da fuck is wrong with VH1???!!!! Breathe......in, out, up, down, round and round...mkay. So VH1 decided it was time to have another VH1 Divas concert after four years on hiatus. That would normally be a fantastic idea unless you are the fuckin retard that picked Miley FUCKIN Cyrus as a Diva. A DIVA!!! MILEY SHITTAY CYRUS!!!!! Jesus take the wheel and steer me out this bitch cuz I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These are the new "Divas":

Kelly Clarkson - Love her, but she's beyond chunky right now and she ain't nobody's diva.

Leona Lewis - Leona can sing her ass off but da fuck else has she done other than Bleeding Love and look like Mariah from her Vision of Love days?????? And she ain't nobody's diva.

Adele - I enjoy Adele, I chase pavements, but seriously, I would prefer a drunk ass Amy Wino wit her beehive fallin off and her skin peelin. And I can't say for sure, but I really don't think she's nobdoy's diva.

and Miley Muthafuckin Cyrus. She can't even sing, VH1. She can't even sing. How does Hannah Montana step into a place that Whitney Houston has been? I can't. I really can't.

Is VH1 trying to say that there aren't any more Divas left? They had to scrape the bottom of barrel to put together a show? I'm just so confused. If I was Whitney, Mariah, Celine, Aretha, Tina, Diana, Patti, Cher, Beyonce, Erykah, Jill, Alicia, or even damn Barbara Streisand I would roll up to VH1, five fingers iced da fuck out, and back slap bitches til Hannah Montana no longer sounds like she's singin from the back of her damn anal cavity.

So what if Whitney is just comin out her crack stupor or that Mariah is married to a little boy cuz she's a little girl? Is there nooooobody else? I mean call Lil Kim and Cyndi Lauper!!! Mkay maybe there is nobody else and if that is the case, that means you just don't put on the show. Or maybe have your stupid show but call it something else. You can't start off with the best of the best and then go to the worst. It just makes no damn sense.

I'm boycottin VH1 til Real Chance of Love comes back on (Yes, I hate me too.) Fuckin assholes.