Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Hill Harper's "The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships"

Hill Harper, whom you may recognize from CSI: New York and other acting gigs, is also an author and activist and has decided to dedicate his work, time and effort into taking on the serious and more than necessary task of rebuilding the seemingly destroyed relationship between Black Men and Black Women. Hill's latest book, "The Conversation" hits stores TODAY and if you believe there is a disconnect between Black Men and Black Women, but know that there is hope, then I highly recommend you pick up this book.

As noted in the title of Hill' book, "The Conversation" is what is needed and what is lacking between Black Men and Black Women. The continued miscommunication, misunderstandings, distrust, and preconceived notions between Black Men and Black Women could slowly but surely come to an end with something as simple as a conversation. We DO NOT talk to each other. Instead we confuse each other, we hurt each other, we use sex as band-aids, and more often than not, we are completely unaware and not even conscious of what it is we're doing. My many Black Women friends and I, have discussed with each other over and over again how we try to talk to our Black Men, try to explain what we need them to do, how we wish they could be more thoughtful, more attentive, more appreciative, more responsible, more ambitious, more loving, more open, more respectful, more HONEST, and we wonder why they can't they just be MEN (no more Bitchassness, Man-up, take accountability....the list can go on for days). The funny thing is, I think Black Women spend more time complaining to their girlfriends - because it is always great to have someone who will listen and relate over a cocktail or two - instead of really communicating with their men due to frustration, anxiety, weariness, fear, internal issues, and the "I'd rather have a piece of a man who treats me like shit than have no man at all" syndrome. On the flip side Black Men, not all but many, choose to keep their emotions to themselves or talk to their friends about how they aren't happy in their relationship, how they have relations with more than one woman at a time, how women want more than they are willing to give, how Black women are gold diggers and just want to spend their money, how women stay complaining about nothing, and how unappreciative women are about how hard they work and how much they contribute. How AMAZING would it be if Black Men and Women could have these same conversations with each other? What if we actually took the time to address each other's concerns and issues and worked on finding solutions? How enlightened would we be if through real talk, we learned how to build relationships and friendships based on truth and simple understanding? How much happier and at ease would we be if we were comfortable enough to be honest right from the beginning, offer each other our standards and expectations, let each other know what we want, and then decide if it's worth the time and effort needed to pursue one another? How much better off would we be - and our children - if we took the time to work together, build a partnership, and realize that while LOVE is at the heart of it all, being in a relationship/marriage is a business deal - that requires equal time, effort, and willingness to learn, communicate, and make sacrifices for the benefit of each other and your family?

Of course it isn't as easy as it sounds, otherwise, I think we would have figured out how to do this eons ago and 70% of professional, gorgeous, fabulous Black women wouldn't be single and there would be way more than 31% of Black children being raised in two-parent households. That is where Hill Harper and his book comes in :

"My goal is to host a city to city tour of FREE town halls where we can all come together and have a real conversation about what’s really going on. I want single folks, married folks—young and old—to courageously let their voices be heard around this topic that is often discussed on talk radio or afternoon TV shows, but rarely taken on face-to-face within our communities.

AND, I want singles to have the opportunity to mix and mingle at these town halls. Let’s connect singles together in every city we visit!

It’s no secret that a tour like this one—free of charge to its attendees—would be expensive and require corporate sponsorship dollars. I must to prove to the prospective sponsors that this issue is important to us all. How do we do that? I can prove that we care about this issue by sharing high book pre-sale numbers with them. And by tracking what area of the country the pre-sales come from, we can be sure to schedule the tour cities for those areas.


We all have to join The Conversation and begin to work on these relationship issues."

Steve Harvey had women wanting to "Act Like A Lady and Think Like A Man"....I personally believe a woman should act like a woman, think like a woman, and understand her man and men should most certainly act like men, and think (thinking of any kind would be great :) and understand his woman. The best way to do that is to have the conversation. It's time we talk to each other! Support Hill Harper and support this book! Bring The Conversation to your city! We owe it to each other to fix us, to re-build the relationship between the Black Man and Black Woman, to nurture the Black Family, to leave legacies, and love each other. Spread the word...

Why not start now? Take the time to have a real conversation with your man or your woman today!

Black Love Is Beautiful....Black Love Is Amazing....Black Love Is Us.


always4evamoi said...

love this post...thank you!