Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Top Reasons Why Getting Banged Out Regularly Is Good For You...

Now if you read inaword....fab daily, like I do, then you would have learned from Elle all about the six steps to looking younger. Now that you know how to stay looking young, that should help you stay with a man or woman or both (I know how you bitches do...snaps for all my kids!). And once you got your man, woman, or for you fuglies its called Grey Goose...lots of it. Have them drink a liter and they'll be eatin your kitten all night. This is what I hear. Anyhoooo once you with whoever, having sex weekly (I say daily but mkay) is not only fun and necessary....its HEALTHY! Say it isn't so:

1. It Fights Colds and Flu. Sexual intercourse once or twice a week raises the body's level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobin A by a third, according to research at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania.

Say word? All you have to do is get doonked in your booty weekly and you can do away with taking your Vitamin C pills!

2. It's a Beauty Treatment. In a study at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, a panel of judges viewed participants through a one-way mirror and guessed their ages. Those who looked seven to 12 years younger than their age (labeled "superyoung") were also enjoying lots of sex—four times a week, on average. OK, maybe they were having so much fun because they looked young. But it's likely the sex was helping, researchers say. One reason is that it raises a woman's estrogen level, which helps make hair shiny and skin supple.

No wonder fugly bitches stay fugly. I bet Chudney ain't seen a dick in her life.

3. It Burns Calories. A little over four calories a minute, or the equivalent of four Hershey's kisses in a half hour of love. Think of it as part of your weekly exercise regime, and burn, baby, burn.

I think we all knew this....but its always good to be reminded that fuckin is way more fun than spin class!

4. Yes, Honey, I Have a Headache. For a woman a migraine might actually be a reason for making love rather than avoiding intercourse: the increase in endorphins and corticosteroids during arousal and orgasm is analgesic.

See, now all you bitches have a reason to have your kids and your man get on your nerves! He can piss you off then make it all better. Gotta love it!

5. It Promotes Regular Menstrual Cycles. A series of studies by behavioral endocrinologist Winnifred Cutler and colleagues at Columbia and Stanford universities found that women who have intercourse at least weekly (except during their period) cycle more regularly than abstainers or the sporadically active. (Related research found that lesbian lovemaking also smoothes out menstrual cycles.) Cutler argues that intimacy is essential, not orgasms: "Regular exposure to a loving partner has extraordinary effects on health and well-being."

Thanks but um, my pill keeps my shit extra regular. Starts on a Tuesday....always.

6. It Can Prevent Accidents. Women use the muscles of the pelvic floor to stem the flow of urine. As they age, they need to keep these strong to avoid peeing accidentally. The same muscles are exercised during intercourse, and as with all muscle-building programs, the benefits require consistency.

Ok so those of you who pee on yourselves....maybe if you get some ass in your life, you can do away with the adult diapers. Handle it!

From Newsweek!

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