Life In The Fab Lane: I'm Not Bruce Springsteen

So this week's fabulous episode begins with a most fab photo shoot with Kimora, Ming and Aoki. Kimora, of course, giving Aoki a few model pointers. You know Aoki is all over the top with it...booty out, serious lip pout, and the legs crossed with the grabbing of the knees. The three of them are just ridiculous cute. Anyhoo, the focus is on Kimora and her speaking engagement for Market America, in which Kimora is launching her Fabulosity cosmetics line. She has to do this speaking engagement in Miami for the Market America annual conference in front of 30,000 people. As we know from last season, Kimora doesn't do public speaking -- let alone in front of 30,000+ people. So she is fretting over that and is like oh hell no...she is not Bruce Springsteen. She doesn't have choreography, she doesn't sing...all that extra is not a good look. Then as they are going over Kimora's schedule, she's in Miami and then she's back in NY and oh, what is this? Russell's birthday is this weekend? And it's not just any birthday, it's his 50th. We must throw a party. In 6 days. And Kimora wants Patti LaBelle to sing Happy Birthday. So while Kimora is in Miami, BJ Coleman must get it done. (And just in case anyone believes that they planned this million dollar bash, with a 16 ft tall Buddah, got the many A-list celebrities to RSVP for this party in a matter of days....you might have Assbergers.) So back to the speaking engagement. It is time to leave for Miami and Kimora is running late as per usual. She gets it together, has everything she needs, and she's in her car and she says "lotion, children, dogs, purse, peace." I friggin LOVE her. So once in Miami, as she is preppin, she lets Ming and Aoki test out the make-up....yeah. Aoki basically paints Ming's whole face bright pink and puts some creamy white lipstick on. Ming at least kept Aoki's make-up to a minimum-ish and hit up the parts of the face where pink make-up should go. They are just too much. A mess but simply adorable. So now its time for Kimora to speak on it. She even wrote notes on her hand because she is nervous. When she sees the crowd she is just like NO and NO. Am I really supposed to go out there like I'm Michael Jackson? And for real, the crowd was serious. But, Kimora went out and did the damn thing. She sold her Fabulosity and talked about each product, the switch in lip glosses, the tasty shimmer stuff that if someone so happens to lick, it will taste good. Great job, KiKi! So check on the speaking engagement. Now back home to get ready for Russell's 50 & Fabulous extravaganza. At this point, BJ has met with Kimora's go-to event planner (still pretending they only have days to get it all together) but everything is a go. Kimora has made sure that BJ called all 500 guest to make sure they know that it is a surprise and they can't be doin the celebrity stroll in when you want to. And Patti, is available, surprise. Anyhoo...day of party, Kimora is trying on dresses and they won't zip. Sample sizes just don't really fit after two babies and other stuff. However, there is this fabulous black and white bedazzled dress that she didn't wear years ago because it was too big....well now it fits and she looks amazing. Ming doesn't like her dress because it is too tight. They fix it but Ming says she can't wear this. Kimora tells her that it isn't always about her. "It isn't always about Mommy...(deep breath) although it should be. But tonight is about Daddy." Ming gets over it and wears her cute little dress. And the baby curls are back. At the party, at first no one is showing up. Then the celebs come one after another and then Russell comes and he is really surprised. Patti sings, L.L. Cool J. performs and the girls give Russell these pictures they painted. The party looks like best birthday ever. Check on 50 and Fabulous!