ANTM: How Could I Not?

After the last season of America's Next Top Model, I said I was done and wouldn't and couldn't watch another season. Last season was wack as hell and in fact, for the last few seasons I could no longer even remember who won or who some of the stand outs were. Basically, there hasn't been an Eva, a Toccara, a Bre, a Mercedes, a Yaya, a Jaslene or even a Shandi, a Jade, or a Furonda....I might be kidding about Furonda. Point is, ANTM used to have some fly memorable models that you rooted for or loved to hate and there was a lack of all of that in these last few cycles. I thought ANTM would never be the same again and I was going to find a new obsession. But alas, I knew who was gonna make it into the top 12 on American Idol (Lil Rounds and her serious badoonkadoonk, the blind guy, and Jorge) and I could catch the Top Chef Reunion 10 more times this week and nothing else was on.....so I had to just take a peak. And I'm so glad I did. America's Next Top Model is back bitches!!! This season the girls are purdy and they have attitudes for days! Before the final 13 were selected and they were going through the semi-final blah blah, there was a girl named Angelea from Buffalo, NY rockin her door knockers, a my little pony fake pony, and long ass air brushed lee press on nails that were atrocious. Even worse, she couldn't hide the fact that she was hood and more than rough around the edges. She ended up getting into a fight with this chic Sandra. More on her later. And what is really good with these ghetto ass white girls? There was this chic that said in her AUDITION tape that she would smack a bitch if she got in her way and she don't give a fuck. Ummmmmm, really? She's more hood than Lil Hood on For the Love of Ray J (I told ya'll I can't help it) and Tyra knew damn well she wasn't going to pick her to be on the show so I have no idea how she even made it to the top 36. Anyway, so the girls that did make the top 13..... This is Thalia. She was burned as a baby and has scars all over her body. She has a pretty face and I think there is something beautiful about her scars. I don't know how far she'll get, but I hope she does well. Meet Teyona! She's one of my early faves. She's reppin Jersey (even tho she's from West Bubba Fuck Jerz) and I, like Tyra, love her small head and her wind in her face face. If she learns how to model, she's gonna do VERY well. This bitch is Sandra. Lemmme tell you bout Sandra. So when I first see her, I'm like look at Alek Wek's cousin! She's beautiful. Her smile, her face, her skin, her hair. Loved it! It was obvious that she was confident and she should have been, but then she just got a bit extra wit it. Then during the semi-finals, Tyra says strike a pose and you can see her try to step in front of Angelea (the one from Buffalo) with her arms spread wide and they got into it a little bit about that. But then, somebody rolled their eyes, and the two of them go at it. Sandra started it but because Angelea was the more aggressive of the two, it kind of seemed like Angelea was the one in the wrong and Mr. Jay reprimanded her and not Sandra. Sandra makes it to the top 13, Angelea doesn't, and Sandra who is the last name called, bumps Angelea as she walks over to the other girls who made it. SO mean and unnecessary. Like you won bitch! Isn't that enough? How can you still have hate when you made it? So then they get to the house. Celia gets the key to the house and they tell her that because she has the key she can pick her bed. Sandra picks a bed and says that she picked it because she isn't there to make friends with those bitches and she's just there to knock them all down. Well Celia picks the same bed that Sandra does and she has the right to because she got to choose whatever bed she wants. Sandra of course is not happy and she is tryna make Celia share the bed talkin bout "I hope you don't snore"....da hell?! Then a group of girls are talking while Sandra is trying to sleep and she tells them to go into the living room and have their dumb conversation in there cuz she's tryna sleep....da hell?! Now the whole time, Sandra is talkin about how great she is and there is no competition. Well they do their first runway show and Sandra trips and stops not even 1/3 way down the runway and goes back. Then they have their first photo shoot and her joint is wack. And she ends up in the bottom two. Of course Tyra saves her because she has such potential, but her cockiness, her rudeness, and all around stankin ass is gonna be her downfall. I HATE to love her....but you kinda have to. She's gorgeous. Bitch. Nijah! She's just so pretty and seems to have a really sweet personality. She hasn't shown me anything spectacular yet, but I see potential. She could kinda of be like Danielle...she's pretty and has talent but she's quiet about it. This is Natalie. Ummmm, I don't memba her. London the street preacher. Yes, she gives sermons on the street about Jesus. I think she's interesting...not sure if she has model potential tho. Kortnie is the only plus-size model who is the former girlfriend of Dale Earnhardt Jr. I think she's kinda hot. She's on my one to watch list. Jessica from Puerto Rico! I was laughing really hard when she said she's never been called ugly in her life and my boo Miss Jay said, you mean you've never been called ugly to your face. AHAHAHAHA....sigh, I need Miss Jay in my life. Anyway, she is very pretty but I didn't see anything model fierce about her. It may be there, but I see her more as like a Maxim chic than a runway chic. Isabella. Well she is epileptic and has the kind of seizures where she falls out and her eyes roll back in her head. On the runway, there were strobe lights which can affect her epilepsy....I have to say, I was just waiting for it...but of course she did a pretty good job. Too bad her first picture sucked, cuz she's gone. Oh wellz. Love me some Fo! Yes, this is Fo. She calls herself Blackxican cuz she's Mexican and Black. I think she is absolutely cute as hell. She's shorter than the other girls so that may be an issue but if she learns how to work it, I think Fo can be fiiiiiierce! Celia. She's from Kentucky where she says people don't care about fashion cuz they're too busy mowing their lawns. She moved to NY because she loves fashion, its her life, and she is really tryna do this modeling thing. Eh. The Weirdo. Allison. She thinks nose bleeds are beautiful. Total nut case. But she has this alien weirdo look with these ridiculously round eyes that come across really well on film. She may be around for a while. Aminat!!!!! Right, now she is my absolute favorite!! I love her. Love her hair, love her look, love her body, love her attitude.....and I LOVE the fact that homegirl is 6 feet 1 inch tall and still rocks her 3 and 4 inch heels. That's what I'm talkin bout! You Betta Weeeeeeeerk Aminat! (I know a lil sumtin sumtin about dat Amazon steez) Her look is luscious and very modelesque. She looked gorgeous on that runway. Her photo wasn't the best and she has to work on her faces, but she is definitely gonna do the damn thing this season. I'm excited to see how fabulous she does. (And she's from Jersey too!) And that's the rundown. I can't believe I'm pumped about this season. So not expected. Well done Tyra! So um....until next week....MAKE OVERS!!!!!!