Monday, June 8, 2009

F.U. Giveaway: Do You Want To Go With Ritz Harper To Hollywood?!!!

Don't act like you don't know who Ritz Harper is! Ritz Harper is the alter-ego of friend in my head...the divaliciously fabulous hot mess that is Wendy Williams. How you doin? Awwwwriiight!!!!! If you didn't know, Wendy isn't just THE BEST radio diva to ever do it, but she's also a best-selling author (and a TV host...July 13th bitches!!) with two autobiographies under her belt as well as the beyond juicy Ritz Harper series. Lucky for us, Wendy has just released the final installment of the series and this time, Ritz is going to Hollywood. Here's just a taste....


Chapter 1:
Six months later…

The brass urn was positioned on a table in the bay window in the seating area of Ritz’s bedroom suite. It sat as a rare artifact, a showcase piece. It had replaced the bassinet that had held court there for so many months until her uncle Cecil begged her to get rid of it.

“Baby, you have to move on,” he told her. “Please, Ritzy. Give it to charity. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this.”

“Yes, I can,” Ritz said to herself.

So she replaced one symbol of the only thing she ever truly loved with yet another. Ritz allowed Uncle Cecil to pack up the baby’s bed – along with the baby clothes, the Tiffany’s silver baby rattle, and the hundreds of other gifts Ritz had received from colleagues, acquaintances, and even fans. He packed it all up and sent it off to Goodwill. But Ritz would never let go of her little girl.

She walked over to the window, picked up the brass urn, and held it. She put it to her ear and shook it gently. It sounded like a baby’s rattle. Hard particles were among the ash. She wondered what those things were. Little bone fragments? Tiny teeth? One day, perhaps, her curiosity would get the better of her, and she would open the urn and see what was inside. She would touch what was in there, hoping to feel something again.

She thought about her baby, who shared her face, right down to the dimples, and what she might have wanted to be. Would she have been smart, a doctor or scientist perhaps? Would she have been an actress or a model? During those months after the birth of her child, Ritz had made so many promises. She was going to be there – her career would take a backseat.

She was going to raise her child. There would be no nanny. She was going to teach her how to count, how to read. Ritz imagined all of the mother-daughter conversations she would have with her daughter about life. She would tell her everything she needed to know, and it wouldn’t be old-fashioned, keeping secrets the way she was raised. There would be no secrets. But none of that was to be.

The last six months has been tough – watching her baby girl fight daily for her life while hooked up to machines, being probed by doctors and specialists. None of them had given her more than a few weeks. It was a rare disease that no adult survived, let alone a baby. Yet four months later, Little Madalyn Harper was still holding on – a fighter, just like her mother. But she lost her battle.

And Ritz almost checked out with her baby. It was that last card atop a house of cards that threatened to crumble Ritz’s entire world.

“What doesn’t kill you will only make your stronger,” Aunt Maddie had told Ritz on so many occasions that Ritz thought her aunt had created the phrase.

Still, Ritz couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. She was practically catatonic. And every day she remained in bed, another piece of her heart calloused over until the whole thing was just one hard shell.

Nothing could penetrate Ritz Harper’s heart again. Nothing was left to hurt – making her more dangerous than ever. She had nothing real to live for, but got up out of bed under a new kind of energy. It wasn’t quite revenge. Because whom would she be getting back at? God? Perhaps. But it was close. She got out of that bed with a new drive, a new determination that could not be stopped. Her career – the one she was willing to walk away from when Little Madalyn was born – would now become her baby.

Ritz Harper would feed and clothe it, put everything she had into it. She would be back on top. And she had a lot of work to do.

So on this night, Ritz would reveal her bold career ambitions to Chas; and if Chas wasn’t on the same page, he could keep it moving.

Are you salivating?! Don't you just have to know how it all ends for Ritz?! Can't wait to get your hands on this book?! Lucky for you, F.U. might just give YOU a copy of Ritz Harper Goes to Hollywood! Seriously, it might could be you!

Want one? All you have to do is tell me why you love OR hate Wendy Williams and why you can't wait to read Ritz Harper Goes to Hollywood! Leave your answer and your email in the comments section of this post and if I like what I read, I'll be in touch. And just cuz I'm nice (ha!).....there will be more than one winner!

Luh u, mean it!


Jonelle-Capri said...

I don't like Wendy because she fucks with my sister's vocabulary. She uses words that don't mean anything and yet mean every single damn thing in the human language. That's why I don't like Wendy. She makes up lazy ass words. And this book looks so retarded that it'd be good. Like awesomely bad. Stupid awesome. So send me to the ritz, because I can't eat the crackers. Wheat. Does me in.

Tarneka said...

You can keep the book because I don't read, but Wendy Williams is cool because she is a big manly bitch who is fully aware of it and comfortable with her big assness! I am looking forward to her show because my TIVO is empty and I need something to record. Summer TV really sucks! You know what, maybe I do need to read.

Elle said...

YAYYYYY! Summer beach reading at it's finest. No need to use your brain, just skim to the good parts! YES! Wendy is my main bish for life. She is the original Amazon, a big strong girl that has worked her fab into an empire. Oh I stan. I stan.

Ava E. said...

I love Wendy Williams! I enjoy her radio show (101.7) and I also enjoyed her show on vh1 as well. She is blunt, don't suga coat shit and gets to the point. That's what the world needs nowadays anyway, so why not start with Miz Williams! Also, entertaining as hell, could listen to her show all day.
I want to read the third installment because Ritz is glamorous, point blank. She's envy in written form!

~Jah Bless~

F.U. said...

Ava E, I would LOVE to give you a copy but I'm not on Myspace and can't get in touch with you. I hope you are following the comments and you get this message...if not, the girl who doesn't read is gonna get your copy. You don't want that, do you?

Email me! Top left side where it is says, "Get At Me!" You have til the end of 6/15/09. Fingers crossed for you boo...