Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Mean, He's Nice, But His Face....

I came across a most excellent, interesting, and very true article in The Root that advises single women to take a look at what they can learn from Michelle Obama. The truth is that our First Lady is a bad B. We all fell in love with the fact that this brown gorgeously regular looking lady, whose been rockin J. Crew flawlessly since before we knew her name, is beyond educated, professionally untouchable, is the mother to two beautiful little girls, and has a husband who is head over heels. How can you not love her? The question is, however, before Barack Obama was president and was just a younger skinny dude with big ears, an awkward type swagger, with a name that you know people fucked up consistently....why did Michelle love him?

All successful, cute, fierce, fashionable, paid etc. women want a man whose not only on their level, but even surpasses and helps elevate their status. Single women are tired of upgrading and dealing with men they have to "work with". But what about those men that are driven, ambitious, successful or making moves to be, kind, sweet, and wants you to be by his side as he makes his ascent into the stratosphere of life, which includes professional, personal, and family success....but one of his eyes is Forest Whitaker like or he's the captain of the Doof Troop? How many times have you let the captain go only to see him a couple of years later married to a pretty lady and he's a CEO while you're still hittin up networking events in your most sexiest get 'em gurl dress hoping you can snag you a hottie?

I laughed my ass off when I read some of the excuses the author of The Root article girlfriends use when she tried to hook them up with some good ones....I'm sure one, if not all of them will sound more than familiar:

His toes were ashy.

He seems like he’d be a really cool friend, but I don’t know, those lips. . .

He was wearing a bubble coat, and seriously, it was not that cold.

We had a good conversation, but I like a man to be more aggressive.

That was our second and last date. He used the word “authentic” like 14 times.

How many times do I have to tell you I’m looking for someone TALL and HOT? Keywords being tall and hot.

He drank a hot chocolate instead of coffee. What is he? A 6’4’’12-year-old? (I’m putting myself out there—this was my own reaction to an otherwise pleasant date just a few years ago.)

Yeah, he was tall, but his head seemed a little small for his body.

It was loud in there, so I’m not sure. Did I detect a stutter?

Boy, was he sweating!

He seems like someone who would like Star Trek.

I don’t care if he can’t see. He should have left those glasses at the office.

He was dancing (or worse, trying) way too hard.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ummmmm....I don't know how many times I've detected a stutter from a thick ass glasses wearin, why he didn't have his dentist pull that tooth, not tall enough and damn sure not hot enough and the list goes on and on....

There is no such thing as the perfect man, only the perfect man for you. I think a lot of times we women, Black women specifically, allow external factors to dictate the men we love. Maybe your friends won't think he's cute, or your family won't like that he doesn't come from your type of pedigree and has never even been to the Hamptons, or maybe you're embarrassed because he doesn't have a college degree. Of course you can have your standards, you have to be attracted, and there are some things that you won't and shouldn't look past, but when do we decide to be realistic? When do we decide that we don't care what other people think? When do we decide that our happiness is more important than some bullshit check list that is filled with everything superficial?

At the end of the day, Michelle had no idea Barack was going to make history and be the first Black president of the United States. She fell in love with a big eared younger man who had dreams and more than anything, just wanted to love her. Isn't that enough?

Just something to think about....

Check out the article: So what he had a booger? Instead of staring at it the entire date and not paying attention to anything he is saying, how bout just tell him to get that? Is a booger gonna be the reason he's the one that got away?