When U Can't Find Your Way Out the Flaming Closet...

You dry hump trannys. EWWWW!

ANTM: Ass-bergers On Ice!!!

I LOVE HEATHER!!! Her attempt at jumping on the trampoline was funny as hell but then when she got on the ice and the guy was trying to pick her up and her body just wasn't moving...that shit had me rollin. That was the highlight of the whole show. Seriously, there should be a show devoted to all the shit Ass-berger can't do. Fun-E! And she's still hot...profile photo or not. Naima had the same problem and that bitch won. Anyhoooo, as for the challenge on ice....first of all, that was a bullshit challenge. They really are just pulling shit out of their asses now. And no, I don't think Lisa was the best at the challenge. She didn't look like she was expressing sorrow to me...her body wasn't even poised and she was shaking....but maybe that's what sorrowful is supposed to look like. I was just mad she picked the Pelican for the photo shoot....that bird bitch needs to go! And Lisa is way too sensitive for her to have lived the life she has lived. All the drama she done been through and she letting these silly jealous hos get to her. I mean, I bet she done had to almost shank a bitch in Jersey City at one of her stripper clubs...she should be laughing at those skeezers. Saliesha needs to stop wearing those damn hair bow tie things. She looks like a raggamuffin when she does that. But I was happy with her picture this week! And lastly, I think between Ambreal and Janet, Ambreal should have gone home. There is something special about her and she has an exotic (not quite Alex Wek) look but it isn't reflecting in her pictures. Her face is too hard or something. But really, Sarah should have gone home. Her picture was wack as hell and she's not cute in real life either. I don't think that hair cut helped her. And how do they let Jena come to panel lookin like Amy Crackhouse's blonde twin? She knows how to take a hot pic tho. That's all.

Random Ish....

Dani is the new face for Akademiks. I love that she stays with a job and always looks hella fab....well not always....but um, D is makin it do wut it do. What is there to say? My girls are just the cutest and Kimora is the luckiest bitch...I would really like to sit down with Kimora and discuss how much better her life must be now that she is no longer getting poked by Russell and is now getting her back blown out and weave twisted regularly by a Mandingo....I mean I know the answer, I just want to live vicariously.....damn her! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!!! Rih Rih out and about lookin cute as per usual but um...hasn't she been out and about a bit much lately? I could use a few days without a Rih Rih sighting. Eh, Eh. Lastly, Salt (from Salt-N-Pepa) did a video interview for People magazine and she introduces her family and talks about her departure from S-N-P...nothing new here but she looks pretty and her family is so cute. Her daughter looks just like her. Should you feel like watching, click: AMEN

Don't Hate

One of my girlfriends...the most dee-lish-us Eva Mendez is on the November cover of Maxim Magazine and has a ree-diculously hot spread inside......love her! HOT!

PROACTIV Pays Off!!!

Congrats to the fabulous Vanessa Williams for signing a $20 million contract with Pro-Activ in which she will work along side the acne-be-gone empire to develop her own line of greasy and bumpy no more cosmetics. I love it!!! This just proves that we too can get rich off of our imperfections. So get out there bitches, make it do wut it do....go to Invisalign and tell them how after using their product to fix your overlap, extra gap, crowding, and saber teeth you are too fierce and this is why YOU should be the face/teeth of the company.

This All Joe Jackson Fault

Dammit Joe Jackson!! You done fucked your kids up!!! I mean just DAYUM! So tell me why 52 year old Jermaine Jackson is being sued by his ex-wife Alejandra for child support for his two kids with her, Jaffar and Jermajesty because she is broke and is living on $81 a month??!! Then Jermaine says: Don't look at me. "I currently do not have any employment" and "I do not have any income from which to pay support," the third-oldest Jackson sibling states in a declaration included with the filing. Then if that isn't enough, here is the kicker....this bitch Alejandra got two teenage kids (Genevieve, 17, and Randy Jr., 14) from when she was fuckin Randy!!!! Yes, the youngest brother Randy. Why is this bitch fuckin all the brothers (I mean let us just thank the lord she didn't fuck Tito!) and then how is Jermaine gonna marry this chick after she was just fuckin and pro-creatin with his little brother?!!! I mean if that isn't just nasty as all hell I don't know what it is. Them kids is siblings and cousins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder they all look like aliens....just DAYUM!! This is just all around a Rythm Nation of a mess... On a document included in the filing and obtained by extratv.com, Alejandra Jackson indicates that, since August, she has been making $15 per hour working as a personal assistant, she has no health insurance and she had to borrow $500 from her aunt to pay legal fees. She also lists her total assets from her partnership in a Colombian clothing design business as negative $198. Her income is listed at an average of $81 a month, with no overtime, commissions or bonuses, or investments to boost that figure in any way. "Occasionally and not consistently Mrs. Jackson will give me a couple hundred dollars for food or other expenses I need," Alejandra stated in court documents, referring to mother-in-law Katherine Jackson, 78. She doesn't get any child support from Jermaine, she says. A number of overdue bills and expenses are listed in the documents, as well as a wish list that includes health insurance for the kids and tutoring for Jermajesty. Then Jermaine says: "Thus I find myself in a Catch-22 situation where while I need money, I also need to be very cognizant of what employment I do undertake so as not to degrade my market value and ability to obtain legitimate work in the future. Unfortunately (and sadly), this troubling situation is very common in the entertainment industry." Um are you kidding me Jermaine? Ya'll are living with your mother and you don't have a job and the mother of your kids only makes $81 a month and you are being picky? I mean yes, I know who you are but really, at this point isn't it about feeding your kids? Such a travesty. And clearly Janet don't want nothing to do with her loser brother or that skank ass ho cuz we all know Janet got millions to spare...... Per Eonline

Fabulosity of the Day

Alicia Keys looking STUNNING in a new photo shoot and Toccarra makin it do wut it do at the BET 2007 Hip Hop Awards! Fabulous!

Diane and Robin Rock the Fugly Shoes

So a while ago I posted some ree-diculous looking shoes that Marc Jacobs debuted in his Spring 2008 collection...if you don't remember click here: Walk This Way Bitches! Anyway, a month later on Good Morning America, Diane, Robin, and some others were practicing walking around in the shoes which means that the shoe is probably going to end up being more than just art.....as in, bitches are really going to be walking on their toes. Diane was bouncing around in hers, and Robin had on a pair that looked like they should be worn by the gridiron gang. Anyway....should you see these in your shoe stores and choose to be the first of (probably) many, please send me a pic of you in these shoes and let me know what they feel like. In the meantime, watch the women of GMA walk this way, click: Fugly Shoes

Mario's Mother Needs Jeff VanVonderen

Mario, one of my fave grown/lil boy singers (Imagine I'm singing the hook while you read this: How will I breathe without you here by my side?...How will I see, when your love brought me to the light....Where will I go when your heart's where I lay my head....yes bitches, I will tear that song up!) is having an MTV special that airs on Saturday, October 20th @ 1:00pm EST and the main focus of the show is Mario's junkie mother. In the trailer he talks about his success and all the great things that have happened in his life but the one thing that follows him is his mother's drug addiction. And in one of the scenes the mother is yelling at him saying that her addiction is over when she says it is over and no doctor or no specialist is gonna tell her anything different. Dayum! I'm telling you, instead of doing MTV, they should have done A&E and went on Intervention and let Jeff VanVonderen get in her ass. She would be on the plane to Promises in not time, walking on the beach talking bout life is good and I love my son and now we can get on with our lives because life is good when you're sober. I love me some Mario and I had no idea this was going on his life...I will definitely be all up in this special. Check out the trailer below.

ANTM: Boo - UPDATE!

OK so I've watched and ummmm, my feeling is pretty much the same...with a few exceptions. But first let me just say, I think the biggest problem here is that level of model potential in this bunch is just not as great as it has been in past seasons. Usually after the makeovers I feel like there are some serious upgrades and people who were once pretty or cute are now fabulous and fierce. This season, yeah the makeovers helped but the upgrades were very minimal. Something about this group is just not cuttin it. But watevs....let's discuss the show, shall we? Mkay, the removal of Ebony's rubber cemented glued on wig that she got for free was hard to watch. I mean really, wtfluckery? Who just glues shit on their face?! Like I really want to know why some black women could care two shits about the consequences of putting all types of shit in their hair...especially when the outcome of rubber cementing shit on your scalp and face doesn't even look that great. I mean really, Pelican, the wig didn't make you look any better AND it damn sure didn't help draw attention away from your beak. AND speaking of Ebony's beak, I am SO happy that Tyra and judges pointed out her weird lip action and the fact that she looks and acts like a lost bird. It was NOT an accident that they made her BIRDS OF PARADISE!!! And onto the next...Bianca's hair damage was indeed atrocious. Like who does that? When your hair is already fucked up, who decides to just add a weave in the back and dye the top purple? How come no one says, you know what, let me find a stylist who can help make my hair healthy? Length is really not that serious. I mean, damn black society for forcing upon us that long hair = beauty....but I won't get into that today. I'm just going to reiterate that something is off with Bianca and the baldie is way better than that fugly ass wig they gave her (at panel she looked a mess and Miss Jay was correct in telling that wig to quiet down while he petted it) and her picture wasn't cute at all but I think a lot of that had to do with the two sun flower leaves they glued on the top of her head...yeah, just no. So um, my girl Saliesha....damn. When you start the beginning of the episode saying I will never be in the bottom two...and then say wait a minute, are you listening? I don't think you understood the words that are coming out of my mouth. Yeah, boo, that means you are gonna be in the bottom two....I mean, ANTM is good for a foreshadow and dammit Liesha you ended up in the bottom two and you deserved it. Your picture was not good and the previous two were just aight. PLEASE step your game up. I've already come to the conclusion that it will take a miracle for you to win this thing, but I at least need you to make it further than a few of the girls that I know you are better than. I will say though that your hair is of the best of the make-overs and your confidence is fabulous, but you need to figure out to make it work. Carry on. So the last thing I want to say is Lisa's hair is not cute and Tyra knows it and that is why she said something like, if you make it further we'll need to straighten out your cut. Jenah is fugly in person and that blonde hair makes her look like a street walker BUT she sure does take a damn good picture. Ambreal is just not doing it for me. I think they should have left her hair the way it was. Not that her hair makes a difference, but I think her afro kind of gave her more of an edge than the typical black girl short hair cut. And Chantal is an idiot.....yes it may be difficult to have two people telling you two different things but really, was it that hard? And why can't you just decided to listen to one or figure out away to do what they are both saying? And then the tears? Please. And I love Heather. If she wins this shit, she'll be proof to all Ass-bergers that you may not know how to focus and you may walk with a hunch back, but you too can be hot and be ANTM! Mkay, so um I missed ANTM last night so obviously, I can't discuss it....but um, I did manage to see how the makeovers went and um....since when do makeovers not help? All I can say now just by looking at the makeovers is that Saleshia and Heather are definitely my top two. Now I didn't see the episode so this is just based on my previous personal opinion and the photos....I don't know how Ass-berger was actin in this episode or if Saleshia didn't make it do wut it do in a challenge or something (but I will update the post once I watch)....in any case, I did see that it looks like Bianca went thru two makeovers due to her hair damage. Yeah um....weave or a baldie, something is off. And Ebony really does look like a pelican but with a fucked up beak.