Friday, November 30, 2007

Halle is Forever!!!



Please look at Halle in her Diamonds Are Forever Ad.....could she be any more gorgeous???
And dammit I want every piece she's rockin....beautious!

The Hills: FunnyorDie!

FunnyorDie.com did a remake of one of the scenes from The Hills with Audrina and Justin Bobby....you don't even have had to watch not one episode of the The Hills or even this scene specifically to find this shit hilarious. The sad part is they are dead on in their imitations....Audrina really does look and sound like a dead eyed idiot and Justin Bobby really does look and sound like a homeless wino. It only confirms that we allow ourselves to be brainwashed by bullshit because trust and believe I will definitely get glued to a Hills marathon and be ready to bitch slap Heidi and bust a cap in Spencer's ass. WHY????? Eh....just watch this.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I Am Not My Hair But I'm Saying.....

I came across a posting at mommabrown.com by BabyBrown (Hey BabyBrown!) and she is in transition from her chemically treated hair to her naturally beautious state. My mother, sister, and two cousins have all done the transition and they all look fabulous and it works for them (I also come from fabulous/model type stock so there isn't too much we can do to mess up but still....) I on the other hand really believe PERM was made for me specifically. I mean, I think I've already told ya'll a bitch got beedee bees like a mo'fo. Fortunately for me, I'm able to hide my beedees AND that's the only part of my hair where the perm don't take. The point is this is a picture of chemically treated hair......SHIT.


This is why Tyra can't ever be seen in public without her lacefront. This is why most black women will never have healthy hair. And no bitch, it don't matter that you only use No Lye. I'm not saying that I'm on my way into transition but I may look into other options on how best to handle my beedee bees....see also lucky for me, I'm gorgeous. So no matter what I do, all I have to do is smile ....but for those of you who are fugly and got the nerve to allow yourselves to walk around with all kinds of shit in your hair...weaves, color, perms etc.....can you at least make sure your ends are trimmed (your hair can be down to your ass but if you have split ends the length means nothing), pick a color that is suited for your hair texture and skin complexion, and be sure to get the right blend for your skin and your lace front....if I can see where to pull-n-peel you are fuckin up (ask Yonce, she know).

Michelle Obama and Why She's My First Lady

I'm SO not political. I'm not. F.U. does best when she is allowed to be ignorant, stank, and mean. It's what I prefer. However, it is getting difficult not to run across articles or witness interviews that either impress me or enrage me. Today, I'm impressed. Salon.com has a feature article entitled "Michelle Obama Gets Real" and it actually explains who she is; how Michelle is making herself known -- and not just as the brains of the operation (ahem Hillary) but as the wife of the man whom she wants to be her president because he is the best man for the job -- and why it makes sense that people are voting Obama.

You all already know but if you get a minute, read the article. If nothing else, it's well written, but more importantly, you realize that you and Michelle are one in the same and voting Obama is voting for yourself.

When You Leave Home Without Your Lacefront.....

A bun usually always works. Usually.

Keyshia.....

Be sure to read Elle's letter boo. That's all I'm going to say about this and that. To read Elle's letter click: Big Bird called and said How Dare You Key Key...sleeveless, patent leather belted, over leggings?!

Two of My Bitches In One Night...DAYUM

The good thing is that both of my MAIN bitches are still on my shows but still.....

OK so I don't do Project Runway re-caps and I'm not going to today....all I have to say is, I had high hopes for a black girl to do well this season and DAMMIT CARMEN! How dare you send that bullshit down the runway. You knew you didn't know shit about making clothing for men so WHY would you try to pull off some shit you knew you couldn't do!!! These are the challenges that you allow yourself to just blend into the background. Do just enough to pass to the next round. And then you and Ricky have the nerve to be yelling at each other and you two were in the bottom two! If you were thinking, you would have made a shirt and let Ricky's bullshit send him home. The good thing is Christian is still there and don't we love it that he gets carried in and out of the work room by HOT HIV positive Jack?!



Mkay as for ANTM. I was busy last night and lost my focus many times throughout the ep but I saw enough to get the gist. For one, I am SO happy that the Asians told Jena that she looks like a dirty unkempt bum. Its about time someone told that bitch. Secondly, I think Bianca would have won the go-see challenge even if all girls had finished BUT when is she going to learn that opening and closing your mouth and pouting your lips is not modeling? Lastly can I just say how proud I am that my two favorites made it to the top 5. OK maybe proud isn't the word but I knew they would go far. It was, however, time for my Ass-bergers to go. Her pictures weren't getting worse but they weren't getting any more fierce and her hunch back seemed to become more and more prominent. The pressure was getting to her and if a regular bitch can't find her way around China, then how is an Ass-bergers gonna do it?! But at the end of the day, Tyra couldn't keep allowing her to be safe just because she has a disability. But ya'll know Ass-bergers is about to make it do wut it do....who saw Ass-bergers on Good Morning America this morning looking all pretty and Ass-bergery?!!! They did a whole segment on the fact that boys usually have Ass-bergers and about how rare it is and how Ass-bergers has given hope to all autistic young people blah blah. I love her.

Anyway, Saleisha is still there and getting better and I really think she might make it to the final two. If Jena doesn't get her shit together then Saleisha may win this thing. Am I the only one ready for this to be over?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Ursher & Jelly Belly Give Birth!

UPDATE: Ursher himself has stated that his son is indeed Usher Raymond V and he was born 11/26/07 at 9:59 pm weighing in at 7lbs 9oz. Should you care to hear audio from the proud pa, click: Is he missing a nubin?



According to PEOPLE, Jelly Belly popped the lil boy out on Monday night (November 26th) and baby and parents are doing well and are happy and all that great stuff. A name hasn't been provided but Ursher told er'ebody that his name would be carried on to the next generation. I guess congrats are in order! Let's hope that baby got Jelly Belly's nose and nothing else.

I Didn't Think Common Could Handle All Dat Ass!


So um, what's really going on here? Let us inspect the sit-chu-ation shall we? It's bout 4:00 am. Rena got holes/runs all in her stockings....and not just up and down the leg, but they seem to all be in the KNEE area. Common got the big ass bottle of water like he is really thirsty after doing something physical. I can't really say too much about Rena's hair cuz Serena ain't never have no problem walking the streets without bothering to hit her head with a brush, comb or even her fingers. But um er uh, these two look like they just finished makin it do wut it do....and I don't know if I like it! Where is Jackie, Serena? I like Jackie! Where in da hell is Kerry, Common? I mean I can understand wanting a lil taste because well, look at Serena's ass, and Common is just yummy but still....can we be a lil more discreet next time? Like maybe next time Rena can take the stockings OFF. Maybe not walk around in the middle of the night looking tired and worn da fuck out. Just a thought.

Monday, November 26, 2007

PEACE TWIGGY!


Finally, Twiggy has been told to hit da lef!! Tyra got rid of the old and BORING Twiggy....due to scheduling conflicts (watevs!). The real issue is, why couldn't they replace Twiggy with someone hot, crazy and hilarious like, I dunno know maybe Naomi? Naomi would be beatin Tyra's head in while Miss J tries to break it up by kicking Naomi with his pointy heel....no I know getting someone fabulous to be a judge would be asking too much so we'll have to be happy with the fact that Twiggy is gone and let's hope this Paulina Porizkova is somebody who adds something. She's definitely hotter than Twiggy, that's for sure. I had already decided that this season will be my last watching ANTM but now.....I might have to watch just to check out how Paulina does. Tyra clearly reads the blog.

Top Entertainers of the Year

So Entertainment Weekly has given us the rundown on who has made their annual top bitch list and why. I'm not all that pumped about some of their selections, um JK Rowling as Entertainer of the year? (yes, I know Harry Potter my ass)....just because I understand their selection doesn't mean I have to be pumped about them. In any case, there were a few that I could definitely appreciate......



First of all, Will stays on my Scrumptious list (LOVE this pic!). Talk about becoming a hot grown ass man. He was nominated for his second Oscar this year and is set to release I Am Legend....which we all know is about to break all kind of box office records and even if it doesn't, he will definitely have his billion-eth number one movie.

Oh Amy. She has had a ree-diculous year. Good and bad (currently she's a hot fuckin mess with tampon strings hangin from her coochie and powder on her nose....her husband is locked up and its not looking good)....point is, she provided us with one of the best albums of the year and when I say I call on Amy to get me through.....trust and believe, she makes it do wut it do! Well it clearly doesn't work for her.....hmmm, there is a real reason they tried to make you go to rehab boo. Oh wellz.

I haven't seen a movie with Angelina in it in a long ass time. I think Mr. and Mrs. Smith might have been it.....but um, she's baby Z's mother.....and she's hot. That's enough for me.

Kanye. Graduation made me a true fan. I've always had appreciation but this time around, I needed Kanye in my life. His album is still on constant rotation and I still laugh at his silliness on SNL. He now has another angel looking out for him.


I think ya'll all know how I feel about my Rih Rih. She killed this one year with one song. I can only hope that she takes a break from the music and focuses on her fashion/modeling/and anything else but making singles. Sadly, her single broke records but her album only sold about 800,000 copies (Alicia did that this week boo) which means that your follow-up singles were crap AND everyone knew that your album would suck. But I still will pop and lock to a eh, eh.

Vanessa Williams aka Wihlimena is fabulous! She is one of the reasons I watch Ugly Betty but just in general, Vanessa is the ultimate Triple Threat and only gets more amazing with age. Love her!!!

I don't know if ya'll go to funnyordie.com but um, if you ever need a laugh, go.

Over the holiday.....

Kimora and my favorite little girls spent time at St. Vincent's Hospital pediatric unit in NYC. I love that Kimora makes sure her girls know that any photo-op is a good photo-op BUT taking pictures with sick kids on Thanksgiving is fantabulous! What I want to know is, could they not have found a more appreciative sick kid????



Monday, November 19, 2007

Michael Cyril Creighton Is My New BFF!



You have to watch MCC's Best Night Ever recap for the AMAs! Fun-E!

In Case You Were Wondering.....

I thought I saw something that looked like colorful legos when Yonce was performing but I was so distraught by her Country Ho' Down that I couldn't focus. Turns out those legos are shoes. $4,175 Balenciagas to be exact. The interesting thing is that I don't hate these....in fact, they actually make me want to go get my work out on. I feel like I could wear these while bike riding and texting.



Images via ConcreteLoop

The Gist: American Music Awards


UPDATE: The Jonas boy actually cut his hand. Why does that make it ever more hilarious! HEEHEEE!!!

So um, was I the only one that could have had a V8? Seriously, that award show was boring as all hell. With the exception of a few highlights, this show left much to be desired.



So what were the highlights....well first and foremost, that little boy falling....um, the Jonas Brothers or whoever those little boys are.....I know his knees were hurting because A.) he tripped over the bar and onto his knees and 2.) he fell on the shattered glass. HAHAHAHAHA! You know I got my giggle on this morning watchin it again on the tube.





As for musical performances....Mary was my favorite. It's funny because Mary doesn't have a history of being the best live performer but with experience comes growth and grace and this time around she sounded GREAT, she didn't need any back up dancers cuz she was droppin it all by herself, and she looked fuckin FAB! I luvs me some Mary.


Chris Brown was my next fave....that boy good! He good! Chris gets me soooooo excited for my So You Think You Can Dance auditions. I will so be stealing his dancing on the ceiling move. I just have to get my dancing on the floor moves down first. He gives a great show most always and I like his lil song. I most certainly stopped talking to pay attention to Chris Breezy....definitely a show stopper.


Alicia Keys. I know some of you think AK was prolly the best of the night thanks to her reggae tribute and her bo-gul-in and wy-nin and stuff but I think Elephant Man et al. took away from HER....and I know she did that because AK has trouble singing "No One" live (she wrote that song in a higher octave than her voice can really handle) and so to take the strain off her voice, she hit us with a verse and then let the Jamaicans take over. Me no likey bum-ba-clot. I did, however, enjoy her cuz she's so pretty and she too gets better with experience and growth and all that good stuff.



Fergie. I loved her dress. I loved that she did a medley. Her boyfriend is hot. I want her to take that eyebrow earring out.



Rihanna.....first of all, she makes anything look good....EXCEPT for whatever she wore on the red carpet. BUT she worked the hell out of that dress she performed in. As for her actual performance....eh. I liked the instrumental Umbrella but I could have done w/out her and Ne-Yo. I don't like that song and Ne-Yo is so fugly.


Lastly, I did like Lenny Kravitz. First cuz damn that man is hot. Second, cuz even tho his ballad seemed long as hell, I like the song and if that is anything like what we can expect from the new album, then I'm beyond ready for some Lenny K in my life. Yum.


Now as for what I didn't like.

How come Justin Timberlake can be nominated for everything in every single category? You know he's definitely on my Something New list but seriously, people. Seriously?


I can't even tell you who else performed. Oh wait, Celine Dion performed....I do love me some Celine and I like her new song but I wasn't entranced like I normally am when Celine be sangin. So that means she wasn't good.


Queen Latifah....yeah um.....I was distracted by her light hair and that black dress. Something wasn't working for me. Like she looked nice but something was off. And I don't even really remember what she was singing. So that means she wasn't good.


I don't remember anything else except this. When you have conquered the WORLD. Been everywhere, done everything, won this and won that, have more money than you will ever be able to spend, have more talent than most can only dream to have......what else can you do? You do a duet with Sugarland and take over Country Music! That's right ya'll! Yonce's a little bit country!!! I was confused when the person announcing the next act said "singing Irreplaceable is Sugarland!" Like I didn't get it.....and then I hear a banjo and then this country group is singing "To Da Lef, To Da Lef"....with my mouth agape, a bitch was speechless. I was like did Yonce let them do this to her song? And then strike me down here comes Yonce to kick it on the next verse! The only thing missing was her cowboy hat/boots and a piece of hay in her mouth....yes people, Yonce has decided that if no other bitch will do wut needs to be done to at least try to come close to her level, then she's just going to continue to take over all of it. Carrie Underwood better get used to being on top now because in 5, 4, 3, 2......1 Yonce is bout to get bitches bodied Honkey Tonk style all over that ass.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Black Hollywood....


Two of my favorite actresses, Nia Long and Sanaa Lathan cover Essence...oh and Gabrielle Union is on there too. All three women are beautiful but only two (Nia and Sanaa) are actually good at their craft and deserve to get paid to do what they do. Gabby, is the worst actress....she makes the same faces in every scene, she never commits, and she is the same person in every film. I mean even her Neutrogena commercial is difficult to watch. Watch Something The Lord Made (Mos Def plays the hell out of his part and she gives him nothing to act off of and he still kills it. The scene that gives it all away is when an old friend knocks on the door and Mos goes to answer it, Gabrielle runs out the kitchen only to stop and look at the door and smile -- never once addressing the man at the door (and words wouldn't even be needed) -- and then points to the daughter like "looks whose at the door"....its hard to explain but even the most non acting-est bitch would have done that scene and so many others so differently.)

The point is, I am thrilled they are on the cover of this month's Essence (looking fab, I might add) because I actually care about what's going on with Sanaa and Nia (especially since Nia is doing the damn thing on her show Big Shots)....Gabrielle talks about how the black community makes up lies about her

"Gabrielle: And now because everyone is clamoring for celebrity tidbits, the bigger gossip sites and even mainstream entities are picking up on it. No fact-checking, no nothing. And in one week’s time, there were like five different dudes, a baby—I’m a homewrecker. In literally seven days. I can’t point the finger at the White media. They don’t care about us. Paparazzi are not staked out in front of any of our houses. They are not going through our garbage because they don’t care about us in that way. So when you hear crap about us, it is coming from our own community, which hurts."

The only thing I'm going to say is that you don't hear about Nia or Sanaa fuckin different men each week and homewrecking.....most times these stories may be exaggerated or plain ol' lies but I think they start from somewhere. Gabby, maybe you should invest as much time as you do to being out and about (cuz you know I'm not mad at you for being out and about) to learning and studying your art (altho I don't think it will help much)....you might get talked about for your work and not who you are fuckin this week. Just a thought.

F.U. Shouts Out....

T. Dunlap! I do indeed read all the emails I get (altho it may take a minute for me to respond) and while F.U. gets a kick out of the haters, F.U. manages to crack a smile when she gets love from those that can appreciate....

Among other things, T. said

"Just wanted to let you know that I ran across your blogspot one day when i was at work (bored out of my mind). I now read your blog everyday, especially when I need a laugh. I know my co-workers think I am crazy. I have my own office and out of nowhere I just start busting a gut laughing from reading your blogs.

Keep the truth coming"


Thanks for the love and thanks for reading!!

F.U.

ANTM: WONG!!!

Does anyone care anymore? Well for those of you that still do and are like me in that you can't help but watch, last night on ANTM, my girl Ass-bergers almost fell apart, my girl Saliesha won a challenge (deservedly), and Lisa makes no sense (as per usual).

So I guess in honor of the premier of Project Runway, Tyra decided to have the girls do a fake Project Runway type challenge....the challenge was to have a student designer (at the Fashion Institute of something something Design something) create a dress out of some awful blue piece of shit church suit based on their personalities. Blah blah, the designers actually did a pretty good job and of course the designer that Ass-bergers got was not happy to have someone who is, well a mess and he did the best he could with what he had. The thing is, she looked beautiful in her dress but when they got on the runway, they had to tell why the designer designed that particular dress for them. Ass-bergers can't speak in public and she jacked it all up and was not happy about it. Lisa (I hate her hair) jacked her joint up too because for some reason she just has the lowest self esteem and no confidence (it could be from years of strippin) and its almost like she talked herself up to fail. I thought Ambreal looked cute but skippin down the runway is not ever the move, lollipop or not. I mean, even Aoki and Ming know that and they had on candy necklaces and shit at their show!! Saliesha was very, very, pretty in her fairy get up and she made it do wut it do! I have to say that I thought Bianca's dress came out better than I thought it would and she made me believe she was workin it but I just don't like her.

Anyway, as the challenge winner, Saliesha chose Bianca and Lisa to do a jewelry spread for Seventeen. I loved the shoot. Very nice.

Then there was the real photo shoot in the desert. Blah blah, some people worked it, some didn't. Then Tyra proves why she is so fucked up. At the beginning of panel this Chinese dog puppet comes out to tell the girls that they are going to CHINA! OMG right!!!! Not quite. There are 7 girls in front of her but only 6 of them are going to China. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT! I laughed so hard when their faces fell....it was like they were screaming OMG, OMG, then it went to oh no, wait, somebody ain't goin. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Right. Like why couldn't Tyra wait until she eliminated the girl who wasn't goin. Then after the judges deliberate, Tyra says, we know who isn't going to China and Ms. Jay goes Wong!!!!! (and the sound of the gong in the background...hilarious) Well surprise, surprise, Ambreal finally goes home. She really is pretty but she is not a model. And so it was her time.

China should be interesting.....

Williams Sisters.....E for Effort!



Mkay, so Serena clearly passed on the fug-be-gone juice that she's been sippin on lately to V. However, V didn't drink enough because she still hasn't managed to escape gettin beat with the fug stick. More importantly, these two were out to celebrate the launch of V's clothing line "EleVen"....that is such an oxymoron....like really, V, YOU have a clothing line? And really, whoever styled you in your own clothes failed you. But I digress....the point is you tried. You hit up the make-up station and you let someone comb your wig. I'm not mad.

As for you Rena, you know I'm lovin this look right now, but wearing the same dress in a different color with the same hair style to every event is not the move either. Don't be scared to switch it up. Like can we maybe part the hair on a different side? I know you are enjoying being fab and you don't want to mess it up by diverting from the formula that you have managed to perfect. But boo boo, you've proved you can be pretty which means that you have options abound. Look into it luv!

Congrats to you V!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Happy Birthday J. Capri!!!!!!!!!!!!

Myspace Comments - Happy Birthday

I want to wish my little sister a HAPPY 21st Birthday!!!!!! I'll drink enough for the both of us in honor of you becoming legal. I love you weirdo!!!! Breathe.....wait, do you need your inhaler?

Like A Fine Wine....


Mary has to get the UPGRADE Lifetime Achievement award. She is workin da hell out of this cover! Mary has gone from all wrong to do no wrong! She's made it thru all kinds of drama (and seriously, don't they say Karma is a BITCH?....Have ya'll seen K-CI lately???? Right. Let him go ladies....let him go!) has gotten her life together on all levels, still making great music and lookin' grown woman fabulous!

Mary is definitely living proof that you don't have to succumb to your situations and that things always get better....you grow up and grow better. And she is allowing herself to live and have fun...its never too late! I mean, have ya'll seen her bust out the Michael Jackson moves in her I'm Fine video? (But this joint right here WHOOOOO!) Mary used to only be good for a two step, with sunglasses on (rarely ever looking directly in the camera), and was always in need of a new dye job....Oh Mary, how I love thee....you most certainly are fine. In fact, you are beautiful. You better work Mary!

Does Laughin' At Britney Make You Feel Better About Yourself?


I, for one, am so over Britters and her fugly psycho fat ass. I mean, I'm ready for her to OD already. I do still giggle when I see her horrible weave tho....that shit is just hilarious. In any case, those gossip rags are still flying off the shelves whenever Brits picture is on it. After like a year of this shit you would think that we would have other things to spend our $2 on...like say a bag of Doritos Collisions (no thanks to your horrible commercial Missy!) just cuz them shits are good as hell (Zesty Taco and Chipotle Ranch is off the chain!!) but I digress.....according to the editor-in-chief of Star rag, Bonnie Fuller:

"Every time that our girl Brit cluelessly tries to whitestrip her toddler’s teeth instead of brushing them or runs a red light with the court-appointed monitor and her two sons all strapped in her car…give yourselves permission to pat yourselves on the back for a change. You may not be the perfect mom, but you ain’t Britney."

I guess knowing that you don't try to breastfeed your baby while drunk, or leave them in the pool unattended, or go shopping for chandeliers while you leave them in the car seat on Halloween, and you would actually go to court to fight for you kids instead of going to get collagen lip injections, and you actually wash your ass and hair and don't walk around barefoot in gas station bathrooms and consume frappuccinos like crack does help to make you feel better about yourself. Thanks Bonnie!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My most fave tranny-nista Wendy Williams has the best show on radio, the Wendy Williams Experience is syndicated throughout the country and is the number one rated show in NY! How You Doin? Awwriiight! So what's the problem? UGH! According to a MediaPost article, thanks to all the drama with the local people meter TV ratings system and how it wasn't counting minority viewers, Arbitron rolled out the new portable people meter system to measure radio listenership and it is proving to be a hot mess for the minority radio formats. Wendy, more importantly, is taking a hit thanks to this crapola.


"Urban and Hispanic format station bosses weren't slow to express their concern. Programming director Vinny Brown of WBLS warned the New York Daily News that "these numbers could put us out of business," adding, "It's not just us. Listeners need to know this could threaten the future of black and Hispanic radio across the board." Under Arbitron's old ratings system, based on paper diaries, WBLS captured a 5.2% share of the 25-54 demographic, but tumbled by almost half under PPM, to 3% share. Previously in the number one spot, its flagship Wendy Williams Show now doesn't even appear in the top 10. "

Like what da hell you mean Wendy's show doesn't even appear in the top ten? Who else would we be listening to? Who else can make her titties pop? Who else will say to you HEE-HAW you are such a donkey? Who else is going to ask you if you know the chief? Who else gets excited about having her Subway sammich delivered? Who else will call you a whore and tell YOU who you are fuckin? Oh Wendy....she is the Queen indeed. I blame this on Charlamagne!

A rep for Wendy Williams whose contract with WBLS expires in March says she's "exploring her options" for what to do next. "She's weighing whether she wants to stay at WBLS," said the representative. "There has been interest elsewhere."Whatever her choice, said the rep, Williams will continue in radio. Her show is syndicated out of WBLS, where it has consistently been near the top of the ratings.

She has her movie coming out next year, Is the Bitch Dead One Mo' Gin, part 5 of her book series should be coming out soon enough, and she'll always have a job in radio.....so of course she'll land on her feet....but I am going to be pissed if I have to listen to some random bitch named Jazz talk about how she's taking over and Ja Rule is about to come in the studio...seriously if I can't listen to Wendy I'm done with radio forever. They can put that where?!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

More Rihanna!


Seventeen Magazine has selected Rih Rih as their style star of the year and she is featured on double covers. She most certainly is my style star of the year. I mean, she went from that girl who was maybe sorta Jay-Z's jumpoff, to a S.O.S'in Yonce Wanna Be, to a stunna who got a fly ass hair cut, sang about an Umbrella eh, eh, and stepped her fashion game up tremendously. Gotta love it! And you know I do....

This Christmas....

Dear Santa,

This Christmas all I want is the chocolatey scrumptiousness that is Idris Elba. I mean, Santa, I don't think you understand....I would give it all away for a lickety lick, a wipe and rub down, nights of back twisting....and dammit Santa, I lurve him!!! Santa, I know you aren't happy with me as I stay being a naughty lil sumtin sumtin, but Santa it's hard and I have no capacity for niceness. It's been years and I haven't changed and prolly won't so I need you to just understand this and let it go...Just give me what I want mkay? So check that list twice...I.D.R.I.S. and you don't even have to wrap him....like bucket ass nekkid is fine....its more than fine....oh lordy B, I'm gettin light headed.

Thanks Santa!!

And for those of you have to settle for Idris on the screen, be sure to catch him on November 21st in the official black holiday movie This Christmas. The stars came out last night for the preimere.




Are You Betty or Amanda?


I love me some Ugly Betty and not because of Betty. In fact, I can do without Betty altogether, but I heart Marc, Amanda and the diva that is Wilhelmina . So when I came across this quiz asking whether or not I am an ambitious ruthless Amanda or a team-playing Ugly Betty? I thought that is just a nice way of saying are you a fabulous diva who will step on any bitches face with her Louboutin Mary Janes to get to the top or a fugly bitch who wears blue braces, polka dots and likes being a loser? So anyway....who are you?

1. A colleague is given the promotion you wanted, do you:
a) congratulate her and then get over it – she is the boss now, after all?
b) ask your manager exactly why you missed out this time and what you can do to improve your chances in future?
c) suffer a huge crisis of self-esteem – why do you never win anything?
d) act pleased, but then watch and wait – you prefer to keep your enemies close so you can look for weaknesses?

2. When you gossip at work:
a) it's mainly about celebs or reality TV characters. You enjoy this type of gossip because it helps bond the team.
b) you never gossip. You know how it feels to be talked about.
c) it's totally workplace based. It's a guilty pleasure but you love finding out who fancies whom.
d) you get your PA to do it for you. That way you get to collect information about rivals and start rumours without anyone knowing where they came from.

3. You need to delegate some of your workload, do you:
a) consider asking someone else but then do it yourself? It's the only way to get a job done properly.
b) barter, offering to take on something for them at a later date?
c) drop huge hints but then give up and stay late to get through it all yourself?
d) pick someone who owes you a favour and remind them of that fact?

4. Business meetings are:
a) mostly dull but a chance to have a coffee and a croissant and daydream. You struggle getting heard and generally prefer one-to-one conversations.
b) hell: organising everyone into the same room at the same time and then making sure that the tea arrives with the right biscuits is a nightmare.
c) a good place to show off your new Prada briefcase – and how well you're doing.
d) OK if they're run well. It's a chance to hear from the rest of the team and exchange views.

5. A colleague phones in sick, do you:
a) suspect they're skiving but say nothing, knowing that you can use it against them when you report back to the MD.
b) sympathise, but ask exactly when they might be back so you can organise cover.
c) listen to every gory detail of their tummy bug and then ask what they had on at work so that you can do it for them.
d) act convinced even though you know they were on a bender the night before – after all, who doesn't do it now and again?

6. You have a brilliant business idea, do you:
a) keep it close to your chest, biding your time until you can take it to your boss? You don't want to risk anyone else taking the credit for it.
b) say nothing? The more you think it through the more stupid it begins to sound. You don't want people laughing at you.
c) brief the team and let them brainstorm and discuss it before you all take it to the MD?
d) sit on it – why share it at your present company when you could use it to set up a rival firm?

7. E-mail at work is a great way to:
a) send all those tricky messages that you'd find difficult to deliver face to face. b) send messages at midnight – and prove that you're working harder than anyone else.
c) watch your back – it provides proof that jobs have been completed and information passed on.
d) catch up on the latest chat with the rest of the office.

8. Flirting at work is:
a) a potential form of sexual harassment, but OK if it's done for fun.
b) a way of getting a date. After all, 40 per cent of us meet our partners in the workplace.
c) a tool to get your own way, or even a promotion. You know you can use your looks to wind most of the guys around your little finger.
d) something that can make you feel flustered and confused. You have problems knowing when a guy is joking or being serious.

9. Your ideal desk is:
a) in an open-plan space that's cluttered but comfortable. You like a few personal objects around too.
b) one with Alan Sugar-style proportions: desk like a landing strip and an office with glass walls so everyone can see you.
c) in the corner where no one bothers you.
d) at home, for days when you need to get on with your job, plus another in a busy open-plan office, so that you can work with the team.

10. Your ideal boss would be:
a) hands-on and accessible; someone who can motivate and encourage when the going gets tough.
b) an elderly multimillionaire with heart problems and no heirs.
c) kind and friendly – someone you can go to with problems.
d) a real performer – someone who can turn your team around and get results.

SCORES
Question 1) a = 3, b = 5, c = 1, d = 7 Question 2) a = 3, b = 1, c = 5, d = 7 Question 3) a = 3, b = 5, c = 1, d = 7 Question 4) a = 3, b = 1, c = 7, d = 5 Question 5) a = 7, b = 5, c = 1, d = 3 Question 6) a = 5, b = 3, c = 7, d = 1 Question 7) a = 5, b = 1, c = 3, d = 7 Question 8) a = 1, b = 7, c = 5, d = 3 Question 9) a = 5, b = 7, c = 1, d = 3 Question 10) a = 3, b = 7, c = 1, d = 5

WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS

10-20 points Heard about the fight-or-flight response to perceived fear and danger? Well, your receptors are fixed firmly on flight mode, meaning you have a tendency to duck out of trouble by making yourself as invisible as possible. As a business-survival technique this can pay dividends, but only if you don't mind being treated as a doormat.

Any Amandas in your company will see you as fair game, there to be stepped over and walked upon. Your mantra is probably 'Anything for a quiet life' but, unfortunately, you risk getting dumped on by everybody and, ultimately, losing self-esteem.

How to get ahead Assertive behaviour is a valuable investment even though it can take you out of your comfort zone. It is possible to say no without causing a world war, and it's also possible to get your point across without shouting over everyone's head. Start by maximising your use of eye contact and adopting a confident posture, with no fiddling or arm barriers. Use a clear tone and don't back down after you've spoken. Stop saying "no problem", as it implies that you're happy to work too hard for too long.

21-35 points You have strong values and opinions, but you are also very empathic and more into team work than personal glory. In an ideal office environment, and with an inspirational boss, you'd get promotion and recognition, but in an every-woman-for-herself "Amanda" environment, you're likely to struggle with the office politics. You're not a natural performer and your lack of confidence in meetings could make you look like a lightweight.

How to get ahead Your ideas are good but you might need to work on your delivery. The people shouting the loudest are often the most insecure, so take your courage in both hands and present your ideas and thoughts in a firm, confident manner. Keep true to your values, too. An office environment doesn't have to be about the survival of the fittest. Successful businesses need team players and that means flexible roles and cooperation, rather than power-posturing and infighting. Make your mantra 'I feel calm, confident and in control' and duck out of any office politics rather than getting sucked in.

36-55 points You're a true business survivor because you are able to speak up for yourself but without trampling on the rights of others. Your assertiveness skills are honed to perfection and you usually have the confidence needed to stand your ground. If there are any criticisms of your behavioural style it's probably that you can seem a bit cool and aloof at times and that you don't suffer fools gladly, as you expect the same standards from colleagues as you expect from yourself.

How to get ahead You're uber-professional but you might need to remember to let your hair down now and again, too. Assertive behaviour means suppressing your animal side, ie, avoiding any knee-jerk, emotional responses and sticking to the logical and practical approach. This is fine as long as you have an outlet for all that suppressed emotion and allow your inner child/ape behaviours free rein with bouts of noisy, impulsive fun, passion and energy outside the workplace environment. You don't need a workplace mantra but the minute you leave the office it should be "Life's too short".

56-70 points You are a true Machiavellian character, a warrior-woman in the workplace who is ruthless and tough enough to fight her way to the top. Your focus is very clear and everything else is a means to an end, which means you should ideally be looking for a job in politics or a seat in the boardroom of most major corporations. For you, getting to the top means warfare and winning, but you do need to remind yourself that many of your battles have been self-induced and that you're treading a very lonely, isolating path. No matter how power-hungry you might be, we're all programmed from birth to need relationships and to be liked as well.

How to get ahead Although you're probably not into popularity contests, you do need to keep some people around you who you can trust and who you can see as friends. Your need to fight suggests a lot of insecurity. Confident, charismatic people are usually happy to use a lighter touch and let others take some of the glory and credit now and again — and this would make you a better boss. Trusting other people is much harder than fighting them, but it's ultimately more rewarding as constant battles lead to stress and paranoia. Make your mantra "I'm OK — you're OK" and learn to see other people and yourself as trustworthy and supportive.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Did I Tell You Rihanna Is My Jump Off?

Yeah um.....Rih Rih just gets hotter and hotter, I mean DAYUM. Every time I see her, ok well most times I see her, she just kills it....she's makin it real hard for these broads. Rihanna is that bitch....and I still haven't had enough.