Wednesday, December 31, 2008

F.U.'s Year In Review

Before I throw da dueces to 2008, I wanted to take a minute to think about this year and rezusgh some of the highlights.

I really enjoyed my "What Do You Say After Sex" post....I've ended up saying #3 after a seriously athletic fantastic wipe down and #1 after wasting 3 minutes of my life.

I fell in and out of love with Amy Wino. She took her crack head status to a whole notha level. Brown teef and all.

This Sherri Shepherd outfit still pisses me off:

Robert and JuneBug definitely get my vote for favorite marriage proposal.

This season of So You Think You Can Dance was the bestest EVER!

My poodle Christian Siriano won Project Runway...definitely may fave reality show with a purpose winner.

Life in the Fab Lane with Kimora and my favorite little girls in the world, Ming and Aoki Lee provided serious entertainment for me. Especially from my Aoki. Love them!

I still laugh until I can't breathe when I watch Jo-Jo pass out on stage and K-Ci keeps singing.

Yonce definitely showed all this bitches how its done....every other R&B chic had to push back their albums, got dropped from Ashanti sangin at Christmas tree lightings and Ciara coming up with bullshit wack ass alter egos and making "remixes" to Yonce's songs (and I said it again dumb bitch! haha!) and Single Ladies had to be the most You Tubed song ever.

I could go on for days, but I can't drank is waitin.

2008 saw lots of sadness, tragedy, and ridiculous bullshit. There were marriages, births, and divorces....But there was also the best thing to ever happen to this country and this world, and that of course was the election of the first Black president, Barack Obama.

2008 has been GREAT, a lot in part thanks to you bitches. I appreciate every last one of you who support the F.U. Movement and those of you hate and motivate. Now go and party like its 2009!

Happy New Year!!!

Luh U!!


Monday, December 29, 2008

Unfaithful: Model Behavior

Somebody had to tell me today was Monday. The days just seemed to have blended...beautifully I might add. Isn't that the best part about being on holiday for the holidays? You eat, drink, sleep, chilax, eat, drink, sleep, chilax...until someone reminds you that you might actually have shit to do and you wonder where your motivation I love the holidays. Anyhoo...I did have some things to do today, and I thought I would see what's goin on in da world. As I was doin my research, I came across a fashion spread called "Unfaithful" featuring Nik and Jade from America's Next Top Model and the ridiculous hotness that is Miguel Perdomo. The photoshoppin is more than a bit extra, but nevertheless, they did the damn thing on this shoot. I love the Unfaithful theme too....seein as how Unfaithful seems to be the theme of oh so many....

Loves it!


Friday, December 26, 2008

Right Quick....

The fabulousness that is Eartha Kitt has left us. Eartha died on Christmas Day. She was one of the sexiest to ever do it. She'll be missed.


Eva 'The Diva' Marcille and her fine ass boo Lance Gross are engaged!!! The gorgeousness that are these two is just too much for me. I love it, I love them, and I need too see offspring stat. Congrats!

Da Fuckery:

These two jackasses gross me out. UGH.

Here's hopin you got er'thing you wanted for Xmas! Carry on witchur holiday fun...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Effin Holidays Bitches!!!

So due to the fact that I nearly busted my ass on ice and didn't have nary an ice skate on, its cold as all shit, and the holidays are upon us, I will be real sporadic on my bloggin. I may have time to talk shit sometime during my much needed holiday rest, but I might not or I'll just have to see how my mood fits. Either way, my holiday rest will be in and out until January 5th. So check in cuz you never know....

In the mean time in between time, my ice box sends you love and happiness during the holidays and I wish you peace and prosperity in the new year!

Luh u, bye.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

New Muziq: Halo and Diva

Beyonce's videos for Halo and Diva have arrived.....


Pretty. Simple. Michael Ealy. Nice.


Black and white. Simple. Three dancers. Fly ass boots. Hot.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Is Steve Harvey A Child Abuser?

"Steve Harvey's ex-wife Mary Lee Harvey recently took Steve to court claiming he's abusing their son. According to online reports: October 14th, Mary says her son, who lives with Steve Harvey in the Atlanta area, came to visit her in Dallas. Mary says it was during that visit when she noticed bruises and puncture marks on the child’s body. Those who examined the boy say the wounds were likely made by a belt buckle and the bruising from a paddle-like instrument. A nurse examining the child at Plano Medical Center summoned police because of the severe nature of the injuries. A police report has not been made available to Mary Lee Harvey; however, she has corroborating medical reports from a child psychologist, a pediatrician and others who examined the child. Luckily Harvey says there was no internal damage done as a result of the alleged abuse."

See, now I'm not saying he actually is a child abuser, but I am saying that anyone who would wear an afro-top fade toupee well into his fifties, has huge fake teeth, and then would rock a Mr. Clean baldy even with that ginormous head of his, and think that that above picture is sexy....could potentially be a child abuser.

I don't know if you guys listen to Steve Harvey's radio show, but he would be the first one to go off on somebody who is an abuser of any kind. Then again, he does talk about how kids need to get their asses whooped when they get out of line....and he ain't neva lied about that. However, there is a limit and you don't have to beat a kid until they have puncture marks all over their body for them to get the message. Anyway, let's hope these allegations are false.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Madea Goes To Jail

Will you be makin it your bizness to see this? I think I need to see Rudy play a crack head ho. I mean, she barely played a regula schmegula girl in the Beauty Shop movie, so I can't even imagine how she digs deep to play this role. Also, if I factor in the fact that Madea is funny and Derek Luke is the one person in the whole film that can act and is HOT....I think it is absolutely me worth me going to the theater to see it...but someone else will be payin.

It comes out February 2009.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Why You Named Your Daughter Baracka

I mean, DUH.


I Want This For Christmas

Thank you for being a friend....

F.U. To The Rescue!

I love that you seek my help. Seriously.

What's good F.U.! I thought it would be fun just to ask you what you would do. Long story short, I have a friend who has horrible acne. Proactiv don't know what to do with her acne. People actually stare at her in disgust almost. I've known her for a long time, and as long as I've known her she had acne and it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Anyway, I've made new friends who are just as pretty as me and when we go out without my acne friend we get numbers, we get drinks, we have fun. When I go out with her, my other friends don't want to go and let's just say I don't have any fun. What's crazy is that her body is dope and she has really pretty hair and her sense of fashion is sick. She works on everything that she has control over. It's just her face. She doesn't really talk about it, but I know she is sad that she can't get a man and that people talk about her. It's not fair. Would you keep hanging out with her?


Connect the Dots

Dear Connect the Dots,

I'm gigglin at your name. I love the pun. You can connect the acne dots on her face and you need to connect the dots to come to a conclusion about your friendship. Brilliant. Anyhoooo, I would keep hanging out with her, I would just hang out with her at the movies or in the crib. You know, dark places where the goal isn't to be seen. And since she is well aware of her facial grossness, then she'll understand.

But here is what I want to know. Has she tried EVERYTHING? I mean has she called Dr. Zizmor? I don't know where you live, but in NYC we have Dr. Zizmor and if you believe his commercials, dude can work miracles! Like he can put a hurtin on a pepperoni face! You mentioned ProActiv, and clearly she's tried that, but maybe she needs something you need a pharmacist for. Like she might need a scrption for that extra greasy shit. And it may also be her diet. She needs to look into a holistic approach as well. Sometimes acne can be an allergic reaction to something you have no idea you are allergic to. It could be something she is eating or putting on her skin. Her problem sounds internal. A pimple here or there is fine, but if her face is covered and it isn't clearing up at all, then I recommend Donkey Milk and Steroids aka very serious medical attention...not just some shit you can order off an infomercial.

I don't think you should stop being friends with someone who would change her situation in a heartbeat if she could. I mean, it fucks your shit up obviously. I can imagine a dude rollin up on her from behind and then when she turns around he pretends he was tryna get by her to talk to somebody who isn't even there. AHAHAHAHAHA! And I bet dudes can't even see you cuz after getting a look at her oily ass white and black head saturated face, they can't even look in your direction anymore. Fuglies roll together, you know. They see one fug, you all fug. So you may as well got acne too. But there are so many other places you can go where you can have fun and it isn't about tryna get drinks, and meetin guys and stuff. And who knows....maybe her situation will eventually get better. Even tho if the bumps do clear up, you know she is gonna have all kinds of marks and scars and shit. Ewwww!

Just be happy it ain't you bitch, mkay?


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Even Tho She Might Eat You......

She still need love! Do ya'll memba Poprah? Yes, you memba Poprah! She was the big girl with the crooked snaggle situation in her bottom row on the "I Want to Work for Diddy" show on Vh1. Well Poprah is lookin love and she done got her own reality show - cuz they just seem to be givin those shits out - and if you love big girls, then she's waitin!

"Do you like big girls? Come on now, really, do you have an affinity for thick chics? Keep It Real, fellas! Well, we have the hottest plus size girl on the planet, and she’s looking for love right now!

If you’ve seen Vh1’s hit show, “I Wanna Work for Diddy”, you know who she is~That’s right the big girl, with big skills and big dreams, and all the sexy. It’s Poprah!!!

She’s in Atlanta right now casting for her own reality show, Big Girls Need Love Too! And she’s looking for a man just like you!

Auditions are this Tues., December 16th, that’s tomorrow, brothers. So you need to email Hollywood South right now for more information. If you are 21 or older, ready to get your swag on reality tv call’em right now. Any race, any style, hip hop, corporate exec, rocker, geek, activist, whatever, it’s all good! Email your phone number and photo to"


Monday, December 15, 2008

Shoot Your Stylist

That's all.

Just For Giggles...

Bush duckin shoes! An Iraqi journalist just can't take no more of Bush's dumb ass and gets to shoe throwin. I for one, love it. He was pushed to his limit. It is what we all we want to do. I mean I would prefer that my shoe be on my foot if ever given the chance to kick Bush in his ass, but throwin one at his head is just as good. Three cheers for the Iraqi shoe thrower!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Just For Giggles....

Ellen is so funny! Please watch this clip of Ellen tryna sing Silent Night with Britney Spears. Neither one of them can sing, but Ellen tryna get Britney to get her levels right.....hilarious!

Ursher and Jelly Belly Have Baby Boy #2

Naviyd Ely Raymond was born at 2:33 A.M. on Wednesday and weighs in at 5 pounds and 13 ounces. Interesting name. But then Usher's name is Usher, so....anyway, Usher you can call it quits now. You know he didn't want to leave Jelly until after she had the baby because his mother advised him that leavin his wife while pregnant wasn't a good look and all he had to do was keep travelin for his One Night Stand tour and he wouldn't even have to see her. And word is, they haven't seen each other in quite some time.

Anyhoo, congrats on the new baby! Maybe the new baby can help you continue the fauxrriage!

The Real World: Brooklyn

DAMN!!!!!!!!! After the last season of The Real World: Los Angeles, I said I was done with the Real World for ever. I think I've said a million times how I've watched every season of Real World since the very first airing of The Real World with the very first original cast and I'm just addicted. Anyway, Los Angeles proved to be just a mess (and not in a good way), especially with them allowing the viewers to pic that stupid ass guy to be a housemate, I can't even remember his name anymore, but the guy who kept calling everybody peasants. Well yeah, him and anyway, that season had to be one of the worst. So I was like you know what, I over it. I'm done with The Real World and I no longer have to watch. But then I saw the trailer, and of course, now I can't wait. premieres Jan 7th people. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I know how Amy Wino feels....can'

Teyana Taylor is All Grown Up

I've always thought Teyana Taylor was so cute and I thought she had one of the best Super Sweet Sixteens on MTV, but, she's 18 now and she's showin us that she's all grown up....and she's gorgeous. We're used to seeing Tey Tay in jeans, a wife beater, and the freshest new Nikes with her big curly hair but for her 18th celebration homegirl got her hair straightened, her make-up done, and she's rockin the Herve Leger dress. She looks fabulous and while I hope she doesn't make the full switch into "I'm a lady" land, cuz I love a chic who can be hot with a clean face and jeans, it is also nice to see a chic do it up and show er'body wut she's workin wit. (Side note, I do wanna know when Herve is gonna come up with a different style of dress cuz I'm over the bandage look.)


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just Cuz It's Hot...

And cuz I can appreciate da Fierceness....Yonce does Giant Mag. Loves it!


Are All U Gays Home Watchin Tyra?

So today is "Day Without A Gay" day and the gays are to "call in gay" to prove how important gays are to the workforce in this country and why they should have the same rights as everyone else. The gays are not supposed to stay home and upload their renditions of Yonce's Single Ladies or Britney's Circus to You Tube, rather they are to volunteer to work on the cause for Prop 8.

So how many of you gays called in gay today? I know Ne-Yo still has a show today.

I do want to take this moment just to send much love to my favorite gay ever in the world, Aaronella!! He's not talking to me right now because I am the only one who manages to get on his lastest nerve - neither one of us can ever let the other have the last word and you know a gay loves to have the last word! I don't know if ya'll can tell, but a bitch can work a nerve like nobody's business. It's kinda just wut I do.

Anyhooo, Aaronella if you called in gay today please prepare the chips and dip and gimme back my cup bitch!!

Luh u, mean it!!!

P.S. Shout out to Geoffrey! A lil birdie tells me I'll be seein you real soon....

Generations of Gorgeousness

The Smith family was out the premiere of Jaden's new movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and I just had to talk about this picture of the women! First of all, Jada's mom is killin them all softly. She's hot to def and she looks younger than Jada or at least like she can be Jada's sister. And of course, Jada and Willow are just beautiful as per always. Generations of gorgeousness indeed! Loves it!

Daily Wackness

I think I'm late on this but so da hell what. It seems that since Beyonce has made having an alter ego the hottest shit since, well since the other day, it looks like er'body and they mama gonna try to follow the trend. It looks to be Ciara's turn.

Ciara says: “When I’m performing, I’m just having fun, letting go and not even trying to think too much about what’s going on. I know that I am here to perform and it’s time to rock it.

You become another person. Another person inside of me totally surfaces when it comes to performing - Ciara, buh-bye, all right Super C. Super C is a character that people will learn more about on this record.That is my alter ego. Super C doesn’t hold back. She is definitely aggressive. She goes hard. Super C can do some magical and funky things. She works hard. She dances to the 10th power. She does everything to the 10th power.”

First of all, what da hell kinda low budget wack ass name is Super C? Sounds like you're a vitamin that I don't want to take Ciara. And secondly, don't this sound just like what Yonce says when she talks about how she becomes Sasha Fierce?! Beyonce talks about herself in third person and how Sasha Fierce is the one that goes on stage and blah blah blah. Like at least tell the truth and say well since Beyonce got to do it, I want to do it too. I mean damn!

This annoys me to all high hell. Just because your new single ain't do too well and now you have to push your album back because there was no way you could compete with Beyonce or Sasha Fierce, now you gotta go and create some fake ass alter ego. And most likely it is true that 'somebody else' takes over when performers go on stage, I just think it is really not a good look that you wait to bring out the alter ego after Yonce done did it and did it way better than you will. If you bite off somebody, you have to do it and then take it to next level. Ummmmm, Yonce is a pro at that. Step your game up, boo.

And who is next, huh? Is Ashanti gonna start talkin bout you know, when I get on stage, that's not me, that's Bananas Girl?! I can't!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dear Oprah....

I still wait everyday for the moment you tell me to pack my bag -- scratch that... won't need to pack a bag cuz you're gonna buy me a whole new wardrobe -- and come live with you and do nothing. I now realize that I can be the one who really helps you. You see, as you are now sharing with the world how upset you are that you have gained all of your weight back and how you won't be able to wear the dress you have picked out for Barack's Inauguration and how embarrassed you are that this is the one thing you can't conquer, I can help you. Clearly, Gayle, Stedman, Bob Greene, all your chefs, and even damn Dr. Oz haven't done their job. But I, yes me, can help you through this.

First of all, I think you look fine. Great, even. (I mean, that seriously.) So what you're back at 200 pounds? I couldn't tell and I watch you er'day! You see O, when you have bazillions of dollars, who really cares about weight? You are worried about not fitting in your dress? You see as your special bestest friend, I would just call the designer and tell them to make that shit bigger. You would never know! When the chef makes chicken for dinner, I'll just switch it with Popeyes and just take the skin off, and you will LOVE it! And we'll exercise too! We'll practice doing the choreography to Single Ladies and we'll laugh every time you try to go down and hit the side leg but can never get back up. Oprah this is called living your best life! What is the point of being one of the richest people in the world if you can't enjoy it because you are so caught up on something as silly as weight. I will help you see that you can be a big gurl and love it.

Our lives can be so full and rich together. Call me! Please!

Luh you, bye!

But Your Teeth Are Straight, Tasia!

This recession situation is the worst! Seems Fantasia is feelin a lil bit of da cession and is losing one of her homes in NC. Yes, her mini mansion is being forclosed on. Tasia bough the house last year for 1.3 million. That's a pretty schmancy house, Tasia. I knew you was doin well for yourself, but really, who knew? If Tasia doesn't come up with the cash, the house will be sold to the highest bidder on January 12, 2009.

In brighter news, Tasia is no longer a brace face and has straight teefus!!!! I say that is worth celebratin! She can at least flash that purdy smile while she's moving her shit out. It's a win win.


Monday, December 8, 2008

Code 10 Man Down!!!!

Ummmmm, Keyshia Cole sang the National Anthem at the Oscar De La Hoya fight and seriously, just why? #1 we know you can sing Key, what is with all the extra SANGIN? (Why do people do that when singin this one particular song???) And #2 and most important, is Frankie now your stylist and did Neffe do your hair? No, boo. In the name of Lil Mama, just hell and no.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Razzi Rage Over Paris Fuckin Hilton. I Can't.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Who Should Michelle O Be Wearing?

Every designer and I mean EVERY designer wants to dress Michelle Obama for the Inaugural Ball and they have all submitted their sketches and are hopin and prayin that she picks theirs. While a few are just too extra, most are simply stunning. The best part is that no matter who Michelle decides to wear, she'll do it flawlessly. But let us go through some of her options and decide for her....

Carolina Herrera - I love it but, I'm not sure I want Michelle wearing green at the ball...I think maybe we should save this for the after party.

Diane Von Furstenberg - I really like this. Not sure how I feel about that bow tho.

Karl Lagerfield - I see where Karl is goin with the gown and the suit but I think both are a tad too safe.

Oscar de la Renta - Now this I love! Michelle's dress is gorgeous! Malia's dress could use one less ruffle but both Malia and Sasha's dresses are pretty and age appropriate. And of course there is that American red, white and blue theme.

Monique Lhuillier - LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

Betsey Johnson - Betsey, I know that you are a hot mess by nature but do you really think Michelle Obama is going anywhere in this three toned bullshit?! And is that a red bow just slapped on the front of the dress for no reason? And you got a flower on there. How dare you.?

Christian Lacroix - Could do without the flag. I like these colors but I'm not feelin the turtle neck. Why is she so covered up? There seems to be a lot of fabric. No.

Christian Lacroix #2 - Mkay this one is much better, cuz I'm loving the drama of it all but again, a lil too much fabric...what is it about all that stuff goin on at the neck? The other dress had the turtle neck and this one looks like she might choke on all that fabric after she ties her cape. I'm not feelin that flag purse but the dress itself is pretty tho.

Rachel Roy - I like the classic simplicity of this dress. Looks Jackie Oish.

Rodarte - I like the draping and the tulling and stuff goin on here. Cute.

Tracy Reese - Beautiful. This looks like Michelle to me.

Zac Posen - Zac I will crack your skull. Are you dressin Harriet Tubman or Michelle Obama? Is that a mammy bonnet on her head? Da hell?!

Michael Kors - LOVES IT! I love the blue, I love the one shoulder and I love the way the dress falls. Love it!!!

Marc Jacobs - This isn't fancy enough. Too plain.

Badgley Mischka - Gorgeous!

Issac Mizrahi - These are all very pretty. I don't know if I like tangerine for Malia's dress but the basic concepts of all dresses I like a lot.

My absolute favorite is the Monique Lhuillier. That dress is BEAUTIFUL!! I LOVE IT! I love the red, I love the elegance and the design is so regal. Michelle is the Queen of the ball and that dress would let the world know. (I'll be happy if she goes with the Michael Kors gown too.) Go to WWD to look at all of the rest of the designs.